rainrhonda Posted July 11, 2022 Posted July 11, 2022 (edited) So my boyfriend told me he loves me for the 1st time.... but it came out as, "I love ya".... He's known I'm in love with him for a long time. But he didn't say he loved me back so I basically stopped saying it. Then from out of nowhere he said I love ya... I just said I love you too, and that was it... Should I take this as his way of confessing he loves me ? He does struggle with talking about his feelings so perhaps he wanted to say it more formally but held back for some reason? Or maybe just testing the waters? I appreciate that he finally showed some effort. Just wondering how I should interpret the delivery? Lol Edited July 11, 2022 by rainrhonda 1
Venus080411 Posted July 12, 2022 Posted July 12, 2022 1 hour ago, rainrhonda said: So my boyfriend told me he loves me for the 1st time.... but it came out as, "I love ya".... He's known I'm in love with him for a long time. But he didn't say he loved me back so I basically stopped saying it. Then from out of nowhere he said I love ya... I just said I love you too, and that was it... Should I take this as his way of confessing he loves me ? He does struggle with talking about his feelings so perhaps he wanted to say it more formally but held back for some reason? Or maybe just testing the waters? I appreciate that he finally showed some effort. Just wondering how I should interpret the delivery? Lol I had a similar thing happen to me. He never actually said "I love you" to me but over texting he would always send me heart emojis and the smiley with hearts around it. One time I said something to him through text and he said "I love you for that" - I was like wow... is that how he is going to tell me he loves me for the first time? I also wasn't sure how to take it... I think for some people it is really hard to say... if he said. "I love ya" it probably just came out naturally... which to me would mean he really does love you. How long have you been dating? 1
Alpacalia Posted July 12, 2022 Posted July 12, 2022 (edited) It's very informal and casual. The words "I love you" generally carry much deeper emotional significance. Until you get there, you're not there yet. Edited July 12, 2022 by Alpacalia 1
Author rainrhonda Posted July 12, 2022 Author Posted July 12, 2022 We started as friends many years ago which slowly became more and had some complications... we are now past all that, and lately he's been much more passionate when he kisses me, etc. A couple times recently he brought up the word "love" in a sentence almost like he was tryingto make me say it... then all of a sudden he says "I love ya" as we laid in bed together. So I said I love you too.... when he left later he kissed me very passionately, slow, etc. Before now he was always an affectionate person but not quite to this extreme. I feel like he could be falling in love with me but I don't want to ask him that because I've learned he doesn't like to be pressured and eventually says things when he's ready.
glows Posted July 12, 2022 Posted July 12, 2022 He has feelings for you. Please don’t look for issues. Yes, he did say he loves you. Why doubt him so much? Has he done anything to deserve that? Of course he has fallen in love with you. How does he behave around you? Does he treat you with respect or listen to what you have to say? Does he pay attention when you like or dislike something? Does he remember things that matter? Look at his actions. Pay less attention to verbal affirmations of affection. 2
Wiseman2 Posted July 12, 2022 Posted July 12, 2022 (edited) 7 hours ago, rainrhonda said: We started as friends many years ago which slowly became more and had some complications... we are now past all that. How long have you been dating? What were the "complications"? How old is he? Are or were either of you in other relationships? Unfortunately it seems he's a lot more casual about this. You seem to be grasping at straws to look for a mutual level of interest. Make sure you don't overinvest in or get overinvolved with someone who seems sort of "meh" about the whole thing. It's important to take care of your heart and soul before you spend too much time. It seems he views this as FWB but you view it as a relationship. Edited July 12, 2022 by Wiseman2
Author rainrhonda Posted July 12, 2022 Author Posted July 12, 2022 9 hours ago, glows said: He has feelings for you. Please don’t look for issues. Yes, he did say he loves you. Why doubt him so much? Has he done anything to deserve that? Of course he has fallen in love with you. How does he behave around you? Does he treat you with respect or listen to what you have to say? Does he pay attention when you like or dislike something? Does he remember things that matter? Look at his actions. Pay less attention to verbal affirmations of affection. 16 hours ago, Venus080411 said: I had a similar thing happen to me. He never actually said "I love you" to me but over texting he would always send me hart emojis and the smiley with hearts around it. One time I said something to him through text and he said "I love you for that" - I was like wow... is that how he is going to tell me he loves me for the first time? I also wasn't sure how to take it... I think for some people it is really hard to say... if he said. "I love ya" it probably just came out naturally... which to me would mean he really does love you. How long have you been dating? Yes he does all of those things you describe. Basically everything he does now is more intense than ever before from how he kisses to how he listens to me, looks at me, touches me . in general there's been a big increase in how passionate he's become with just about everything. I'm very happy so that's what matters. I don't doubt him I just wonder why he chose to say it, the way he did.
glows Posted July 12, 2022 Posted July 12, 2022 1 hour ago, rainrhonda said: Yes he does all of those things you describe. Basically everything he does now is more intense than ever before from how he kisses to how he listens to me, looks at me, touches me . in general there's been a big increase in how passionate he's become with just about everything. I'm very happy so that's what matters. I don't doubt him I just wonder why he chose to say it, the way he did. In that case, there is no real meaning. It may be that's what he's comfortable with. I wouldn't look for issues where there are none. He sounds like he treats you well and you're happy together. For what it's worth, I used to wonder the same thing as you when I was ..maybe 20 years younger. Experience has taught me to watch someone's actions and how consistent they are over a longer period of time as opposed to paying too much attention to minor details like colloquial word usage. It's good that you're observant but look at the big picture and try not to get hung up over details that do not matter if you both are complementing one another and living a good life together. 2
vla1120 Posted July 12, 2022 Posted July 12, 2022 I don't know why some people have such difficulty saying "I love you", but they do. Judge his actions. They way he treats you will tell you what you want to know. Give him a safe space to express himself, and he will eventually. In his mind, "I love ya" was probably just as meaningful as "I love you" would have been. But again, judge him by his actions. 2
Alpacalia Posted July 12, 2022 Posted July 12, 2022 Agree. Judge by his actions and the way he treats you. Not just deep kissing.
Author rainrhonda Posted July 12, 2022 Author Posted July 12, 2022 3 hours ago, Alpacalia said: Agree. Judge by his actions and the way he treats you. Not just deep kissing. Well he's always cared for me alot and generally treats me well. He's always gone out of his way to make time for me, etc. It's just lately as though he can't keep his hands off me and stares into my eyes intensely, and the kissing does matter because its way more passionate. Saying goodbye used to be a peck on the mouth and now its long, slow goodbye kisses. So I did wonder if his feelings or attraction towards me have grown but I didn't want to ask him. Then suddenly "I love ya" comes out. Given I know that it's hard for him to talk about feelings in the 1st place, I will chalk it up to confessing up while still holding back a little at the same time. I wouldn't over think this like I am if not for all his extra affection lately, lol. But here I am. 1
Kyra Posted July 22, 2022 Posted July 22, 2022 I love ya means the same as I love you. Being informal doesn't indicate it's less felt. For a guy who is not comfortable with expressing such feelings, no doubt the informality of the wording made it a little easier to say, especially for the first time. I wouldn't consider it holding back. Appreciate it fully. Some guys can't even say that. 1
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