'I am just not that into you'

[Thetree]

44 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is it possible she put you in the friendzone but you want to stay in the hope-zone?

No, I don't want to stay in the hope-zone. I am past that phrase, plus I will never accept to be a back-up.

I think I will make things clear. Sure, you can come to my place, but you need to know what that means. See how she responds & acts.

Then I can draw a line. 

I know I sound dumb, but I am actually very careful since she told me that. I never initiated contact, never proposed anything, just went with the flow. I am just confused of this hot/cold s***.

But I am doing my stuff, continue my life like nothing, prioritizing the rest.

[Wiseman2]

On 7/11/2022 at 10:27 AM, Thetree said:

Maybe it matters, she just ended a relationship 3 weeks ago.

This could easily explain the hot/cold thing. She may still be talking to him. Or looking for a rebound. Don't get used as pawn in their craziness or to get him jealous or to bolster her ego that she can still get dates. Overall it's not about you, just whatever her game is.

[ExpatInItaly]

She’s playing you like a fiddle, OP. 

All you’re doing here is showing her you don’t have much self-respect. She knows you’ll hang on and keep responding until she cuts you off. 

[Thetree]

16 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

She’s playing you like a fiddle, OP. 

All you’re doing here is showing her you don’t have much self-respect. She knows you’ll hang on and keep responding until she cuts you off. 

I somewhat agree.

Asked to come over to her place tonight. Very curious how this will go.

[ExpatInItaly]

It will go like this: you will have a fun night. And then she will drop you like a hot potato again. 

Surely you have better options than this?

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Thetree said:

Asked to come over to her place tonight. Very curious how this will go.

This is the hope-zone, indeed. Surely you're not curious to see what's for dinner or on TV.

The friendzone is something an uninterested woman puts you in.

The hope-zone is something you put yourself in.

Edited July 15, 2022 by Wiseman2

[Thetree]

So, we spent friday and yesterday all day and close to all night. We had sex, kissed and so on. Actually she showed up yesterday with a vinyl disk she bought for me. I was wtf, but liked it, of course.

Yeah, I am not going to date her at all. I can't, she has a baggage that I really cannot handle and do not want to handle & also realized I am not infatuated/love. Spoke to her, explained that. seems like she understood, but we are still talking like nothing happened. We feel like magnets. I've never experienced something like this.

But there is NO WAY I want to be with her as a couple. But I want her in my life. 

I can't understand it. Is there a logical explanation? Had the impression was to fill the loneliness, but it's not that.

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, Thetree said:

Is there a logical explanation? We had sex, kissed and so on. 

It seems you answered your own question. You want sex but not a messy relationship.

[ExpatInItaly]

6 minutes ago, Thetree said:

Is there a logical explanation?

Some other guy rejected her and you're filling in the gaps in the meantime. 

And you want sex. 

That's pretty much it. 

Edited July 17, 2022 by ExpatInItaly

[Thetree]

4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Some other guy rejected her and you're filling in the gaps in the meantime. 

And you want sex. 

That's pretty much it. 

Actually she ended the relationship from what she told me. He was far younger.

[ExpatInItaly]

24 minutes ago, Thetree said:

Actually she ended the relationship from what she told me. He was far younger.

That doesn't make it true. 

This woman sounds like a basket-case. You would be best not to believe everything she tells you. She sounds like exactly the type to edit details to suit her own ego. 

[Thetree]

Yeah. But at least I had to know it for sure and have zero regrets.

[fred123]

at least u finally got sex!