Regretting matching with a guy from my gym

[introverted1]

2 hours ago, lovesfool said:

I am starting to feel like I'm the crazy one here.

Yep.

Maybe reread what everyone here is saying and let it sit for a bit.

Messaging him to say you "hope you didn't make things awkward for him" doesn't make anything less awkward.  Especially because it's just a ploy to reach out again in the hopes of prompting a response from him, which pretty much everyone here recognizes and so will he. 

Also, from your OP, this is a guy you saw occasionally at the gym but never talked to.  So why can't you just keep on in that same vein?  Or, as I and others have suggested, if you make eye contact, just nod hello. Pop in your ear buds and get on with your workout.  He's not going to have a stare-down with you.  If anything, he will be eager to avoid you.

[BaileyB]

26 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

If anything, he will be eager to avoid you.

Indeed. 

So, give him that kindness and keep your dignity. Don’t message him again, just let it go. 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, lovesfool said:

I am starting to feel like I'm the crazy one here.

You're not crazy, but there is a reason nobody here thinks your plan is a good one. 

I would encourage you to reflect on that. 

[smackie9]

I get it..you have a crush on this guy, mulling ideas/fantasies in your head each time you saw him...that anticipation that maybe just maybe...he would notice you! You saw an opportunity on the dating app to get things started..he responded well! and oh my goodness you were getting excited about it, hopes were starting to soar. So in your excitement you want to amp things up by sharing more photos of yourself and then..... crickets...the balloon pops! You just can't believe it. The conversation flowed so well there was so much promise! What can you do? You quickly put a cringe worthy comment in there to pull him back, but it doesn't work....you lost him. Now you are sitting here wondering wft happened, how embarrassed you are, but at the same time you are still clinging onto hope it can salvaged. It's desire that drives us to do things, push us to do things later we will regret, and the reality of it all is a total downer, especially as strangers on this forum points out your flaws, and truths. It makes anyone feel vulnerable especially when you put yourself out there only to be ignored. Hey coming off desperate is not flattering to admit, we all have done it tho, we have all been there. Just breath, relax. People don't think about you or what you did constantly, their thoughts move on. So if he sees you he will think about it for 2 second and them think about what he's going to have for dinner. Brush yourself off, hold your head high, and don't think about it again.

Edited July 9, 2022 by smackie9

[Versacehottie]

Sorry if i missed it but why aren't you considering why the additional photos caused him to not respond to you?  Perhaps mentally go back into that moment. I would guess that your one photo was to his liking but then additional photos sent afterward gave different angles and a more complete picture of what you look like....and he's not interested. OR with the additional photos, he actually realized he KNOWS exactly who you are and can now place you from "girl from the gym" and he now being able to place that he 'knows' he's not interested because he's seen you for awhile at the gym. With just your one original pic, he "thought" he had interest for whatever reason and then with more context, he did not. The more context was either confirming who you in fact were (and that he already has seen you in real life) or gave more angles and more fleshed out "picture" of who you are/what you look like.  Especially if he was sort of on the fence about you due to mediocre conversation/texting and/or realized you go to his same gym and he can tell already it's not likely to progress, he pulled the ripcord!

It does seem like your ego is quite involved here--which is understandable to an extent. 

1. it ALREADY IS awkward...um don't do more to make it more awkward or put the guy on the spot. 

2. However, when you go to the gym, hold your head high and act like you aren't phased (sp? fazed????). Being confident like "it's his loss" would be the best way to get over feeling awkward or rejected...and most likely to have him considering if he made the right move.  Also would tell yourself the personal story that "other people" are not the source of your self-confidence.

3. Don't not send another message. 5 days? He's likely blowing you off 100%

[healing light]

 

12 hours ago, lovesfool said:

What do you mean it's obvious that it's not a joke? It couldn't be seen as anything else!

 

 

13 hours ago, lovesfool said:

I jokingly followed up with something along the lines of "I'm sure it's only a good sign when you don't get a comment on your photos".

 

 

I interpret this as passive aggressive. You're bothered about the lack of attention to the photos, so you're indirectly confronting him by dressing it up as a "good sign." But that's not what you're thinking, you wanted his input and are perhaps feeling a little insecure about it, otherwise you wouldn't have brought it up. That's how it reads to me. I know that may not have been your intention, but it could be why he just ghosted the conversation afterward. It is too soon to deal with any potential communication snafus, especially with a regular at the gym if things go south.

There could be any reason he didn't comment on your pictures right away--maybe his phone wasn't loading them in a timely basis before he wrote his next response, maybe he already knew what you looked like having seen you around in person so he didn't feel they were necessary, etc. But that response didn't give him the benefit of the doubt, it pointed out his lack of commentary. Since you don't know his personal history, he may have had partners who picked apart the smallest things, you never know. 

For a guy who is very interested, it probably wouldn't have made a difference. His exiting the conversation may not have even been related. He might be a window shopper for all we know. I would just be cordial if you bump into him at the gym and continue your work out. The ball is in his court.

[healing light]

12 hours ago, lovesfool said:

I had thought about if I see him the next time in the gym that afterwards I would message him with something along the lines of "Hey I think it was you I saw in the gym today. Didn't realise we went to the same one. Wouldn't have messaged you if I knew! Hope I didn't make it awkward for you. Best of luck!"

 

Not only do I not recommend this, but I don't see why you need to lie to him in order to give yourself closure on the situation. You don't owe him anything, he doesn't owe you anything. I would stop doing mental gymnastics and just let it go if you can because it sounds like he already has (at least for now).

Edited July 9, 2022 by healing light

[Lisa]

This thread has been closed as the question has been thoroughly answered.  Thank you all for your participation