Giselle1218 Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 Hi everyone. Just wanting to share my experience and I am needing some advice or any type of motivational words. So I met this guy at a baile (dance/party), and he asked me to dance with him, which I kindly accepted. Since he was there with other guys, I assumed he wasn’t there with another woman. After we danced, he asked if I wanted a drink from the bar and I said yes. At the bar I had asked his age - he was 28, and I also asked if he had a wife/girlfriend or even kids and he denied everything. He even asked me how in the world could I even think that. We ended up exchanging numbers and I went on with my night. (Skipping a little to the first date).. On our first date, we went to a restaurant, everything went well. Again, I had asked if he was married or had any gf or kids and denied everything all over again and even laughed about the situation because he thought I was crazy for asking. He told me he was single and ready to have a future with someone. We went on about our lives and I even had asked him “are you sure” on some days just cause I wanted to be sure and he would deny everything. Because we would go out often and he would reassure me, I started to trust him more and more. We started dating this April, there were not any red flags. He started to fall for me (or so I thought) because he would talk about wanting to start a family soon, and wanting to get married, he even said we could start looking into getting a ranch together and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything because he would take care of me and anything I wanted, he could pay for. Everything was going well until Monday (7/4).. mind you we were going to complete 3 months together on 7/13. On Monday we had made dinner plans, we were talking on the phone and everything was going well. During our phone call I got a friend request on Facebook from a girl that is from his hometown in Mexico. They didn’t have each other as friends so I didn’t overthink it much, however after I had accepted the request, I had a pending messenger from her. I opened it up and she came forward wanting to talk about a person we knew in common. She sent a photo of them two and explained that she has known him for 5 years and even told me they had a daughter together. So I asked him who this girl is (I only read her name) and he told me “I don’t know, why?” And I told him to not lie because she sent me a photo of them two but he still acted dumb about the situation. I sent him the screenshots of what she sent and he told me that she was crazy and even tried to reassure me that he was with me and nobody else and that it was nothing. But that’s not the worst part. She told me that when she first met him he was already married and had 3 children with the wife. She sent me a lot of screenshots as well of recent conversations about how he loved her and I instantly felt sick to my stomach. I told him that we could still meet somewhere to talk about this and he told me it was fine that he would answer any questions I had. I told him I wanted to leave him and he told me I wasn’t going anywhere and he wanted us to work. Shortly after we hung up the call, he told me he didn’t want anything with me or with anyone. After he sent that, the girl then proceeded to send me a phone call they had between them and he denied everything about me and about how much he loved her and how much he didn’t want to lose her. He pretty much begged her. He now has me blocked on everything but I didn’t do anything to him. I’ve been super super heartbroken about this whole situation and I’ve just been feeling super sick to my stomach. How is it that you lived a double life and blocked me on everything?? Make it make sense. I really feel like a deserve some type of explanation. I haven’t been looking for him but I need answers .. Side note: His aunt followed me on Instagram, I’ve never met her in my life or once said anything to her. I really don’t know how she found me. I remember when he used to talk about her and he would tell me “please don’t add her on anything”.. I’m assuming now it’s because she knows that he’s married. But I don’t have any mutual followers with her so I don’t know how she could’ve found me. She also doesn’t have that girl .. It’s a little suspicious as well because it’s a new account..could he be watching ?!
vla1120 Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 17 minutes ago, Giselle1218 said: We started dating this April, there were not any red flags. But there WERE red flags via your tuition, which kept you asking him repeatedly if he was married, had kids, etc. Somewhere in there, you suspected, I believe. 21 minutes ago, Giselle1218 said: I’ve been super super heartbroken about this whole situation and I’ve just been feeling super sick to my stomach. How is it that you lived a double life and blocked me on everything?? Make it make sense. I really feel like a deserve some type of explanation. I haven’t been looking for him but I need answers .. It won't ever make sense to you. He's a cheater and a liar and he reeled you into his web of deceit. You're not going to get any answers that make sense to you. Luckily for you, you only wasted about 3 months of your life with this man. Imagine if it had kept going on for months or years? Imagine if you'd made a family with this man? You have to come to the realization that this was not who you thought you were dating and you are very, very lucky that this woman contacted you and saved you months, possibly YEARS of heartache. Try to find the positive in this situation. It could have turned out SO much worse for you. 1 1
vla1120 Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 15 minutes ago, vla1120 said: But there WERE red flags via your tuition, which kept you asking him repeatedly if he was married, had kids, etc. Somewhere in there, you suspected, I believe. It won't ever make sense to you. He's a cheater and a liar and he reeled you into his web of deceit. You're not going to get any answers that make sense to you. Luckily for you, you only wasted about 3 months of your life with this man. Imagine if it had kept going on for months or years? Imagine if you'd made a family with this man? You have to come to the realization that this was not who you thought you were dating and you are very, very lucky that this woman contacted you and saved you months, possibly YEARS of heartache. Try to find the positive in this situation. It could have turned out SO much worse for you. That was supposed to say INtuition. Duh. 2
Alpacalia Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 (edited) 58 minutes ago, Giselle1218 said: We started dating this April, there were not any red flags. He started to fall for me (or so I thought) because he would talk about wanting to start a family soon, and wanting to get married, he even said we could start looking into getting a ranch together and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything because he would take care of me and anything I wanted, he could pay for. There was in fact a red flag raised here. Unless you are looking forward to having numerous engagements under your belt and more broken hearts in the near future, take your time. Initially, he said one thing but then he turned out to be quite a different person than what you expected. I am sorry to hear that you have experienced this and I hope you find some sense of closure. Edited July 8, 2022 by Alpacalia 1 1
glows Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 1 hour ago, Giselle1218 said: He now has me blocked on everything but I didn’t do anything to him. I’ve been super super heartbroken about this whole situation and I’ve just been feeling super sick to my stomach. How is it that you lived a double life and blocked me on everything?? Make it make sense. I really feel like a deserve some type of explanation. I haven’t been looking for him but I need answers .. Side note: His aunt followed me on Instagram, I’ve never met her in my life or once said anything to her. I really don’t know how she found me. I remember when he used to talk about her and he would tell me “please don’t add her on anything”.. I’m assuming now it’s because she knows that he’s married. But I don’t have any mutual followers with her so I don’t know how she could’ve found me. She also doesn’t have that girl .. It’s a little suspicious as well because it’s a new account..could he be watching ?! You do have an explanation. Some people are sociopaths and you happened to meet one. He was actively deceiving you and other women, lying about his situation and taking advantage of others. I suggest you go through and clean up your profiles online, remove unwanted individuals and make an adjustment to the "privacy" settings on your social media so that you cannot be found or added by third parties. Go into your settings and start making those changes. Remove this so called aunt of his and have nothing else to do with him or anything to do with him. I agree about the comment above about listening to your intuition, period. You don't need to hear it from anyone else, least of all the person you suspect. If you don't feel good about a situation, you can walk away from it right then and there. Leave him in the past and move on with your life. It's ok to be disappointed and frustrated but don't let this experience sour you or hold you back from living your life. 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 2 hours ago, Giselle1218 said: She sent a photo of them two and explained that she has known him for 5 years and even told me they had a daughter together. She told me that when she first met him he was already married and had 3 children with the wife. She sent me a lot of screenshots as well of recent conversations about how he loved her and I instantly felt sick to my stomach. Sorry this happened. You dodged a bullet if he has a trail of GFs/exes that follow him around and contact women he cheats with. Delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps.
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