freckles3131 Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Yes, I'm on the other side of the coin!! Me:age 37 Him: 29 So, I was trying a second chance relationship, he was running hot and cold(I should have known better to get involved with someone on the rebound) I asked him a month ago "Are you over her" (she cheated on him/dumped him/treated him like crap) His answer was, "Yes" But, in the following month he as hot and cold still... He got drunk on Friday....and drove to her house. He told me about it. Said, "I don't know why I did it, I don't even know if it's because of "her" or because I have unanswered questions, or if I need validation, or need more closure...I don't know" What I do know is I thought I was over it, I'm not...me driving over there showed me that. (I asked if he had any contact in the past 3 months...he said, "no" and "that is what scared him.....not having any contact and still not over it" That "it woulnd't be fair to me for us to continue dating when he still has this on the brain." (Um......DUH!) I do think he was in denial, I do think he thought he was done with it, I think this brought it to light..... So, I told him, he needs to take some time to sort this out....ON HIS OWN...that means NO drunken booty calls/texting me, no "hanging out" nothing....(he is on my volleyball team, but that is all we will be doing...playing volleyball) He said, "I agree and understand where you are coming from and agree its the right thing to do" I know I shouldn't sit around "waiting" (he said he wouldn't be dating ANYONE as it would NOT be fair to do this to anyone...(date while not over the ex) Part of me is hoping in 6 months it will sink in and he will be able to move on completely and make a decision to want to try with me again(giving me his heart completely) But, the other part of me wants to let it go....completely and not even entertain ideas of "when and if" They have been broken up for 3 months....one phone call and him going over there the other day......how long does it take to move on.......months? Years? Is his N/C with her elongating the process?? Leaving him with his own big ???? Should I recommed he CALL her? Get it over, be done with it....??? Do you think it would help him to call and get some kind of closure?? Rather than no contact......delaying that closure with her??
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