She's not a co-worker, but a volunteer

[QuietRiot]

Where I work, we have a volunteer program also.   For a while now, I'd been getting to know some of these volunteers over time, and there's one that particularly has caught my eye as I was getting to know her.

Now, I know how some posters here feel about dating co-workers, but....what about volunteers? (I am employee, and she's a volunteer).  Does her being a volunteer change the dynamic since volunteerism is kind of temporary?

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

 we have a volunteer program and there's one that particularly has caught my eye.

Check your employer's sexual harassment policies. It may include/protect asking out anyone in the workplace whether paid, volunteering, permanent or temporary.

Edited July 5, 2022 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

How posters feel here is the least of your concerns.  Of highest concerns are: 1. how she'd feel about being hit on by you and 2. your workplace policy on dating.

Has she given you any indication at all that she's interested in dating you?   Thing is, if you ask her out and she's not interested, then the workplace will become weird and awkward for her.   I suggest you just take this time to get to know her.  Then if she seems interested in you, ask her out when her volunteer period comes to an end.  That way if she says "no" it won't be awkward at work

[QuietRiot]

55 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Check your employer's sexual harassment policies. It may include/protect asking out anyone in the workplace whether paid, volunteering, permanent or temporary.

Well, sexual harassment actually has to have a harassment component to it. Asking someone to lunch isn't harassment. It's harassment if they tell they aren't interested, and you continue to pursue regardless of her answer.

[QuietRiot]

54 minutes ago, basil67 said:

How posters feel here is the least of your concerns.  Of highest concerns are: 1. how she'd feel about being hit on by you and 2. your workplace policy on dating.

Has she given you any indication at all that she's interested in dating you?   Thing is, if you ask her out and she's not interested, then the workplace will become weird and awkward for her.   I suggest you just take this time to get to know her.  Then if she seems interested in you, ask her out when her volunteer period comes to an end.  That way if she says "no" it won't be awkward at work

There is no workplace policy on dating. In fact, I don't think I've ever worked at a place that had such a policy. Also, would policy even apply to volunteers and only to employees? As I figured being a volunteer wouldn't carry as much weight as  a co-worker.

I've thought about messaging her on Facebook as we follow in the same circles of the same field.

Edited July 5, 2022 by QuietRiot

[basil67]

Yes a policy would apply to volunteers.  They fact that they aren't being paid doesn't mean that they aren't working.

Why would you try and slide into her DMs when you have the opportunity to talk with her face to face?  

[AndyCapp99]

If she hasn’t given any indication that she’s interested, you should leave her alone. 

[QuietRiot]

33 minutes ago, AndyCapp99 said:

If she hasn’t given any indication that she’s interested, you should leave her alone. 

That can really be determined, after you ask. 

Even if they are indicators, than can be ambiguous and can't be taken to heart.

Edited July 6, 2022 by QuietRiot

[AndyCapp99]

18 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

That can really be determined, after you ask. 

Even if they are indicators, than can be ambiguous and can't be taken to heart.

See, this just makes you sound like a guy who won’t take no for an answer. 
 

Rather than take things at face value you’re going to decide that there’s ambiguity. 
 

Why don’t you wait until her volunteer period is over to ask her out?

[glows]

Tread with caution and treat her as you would a fellow colleague, professionally. 

You know any misconduct and issues or awkwardness will affect you as you are an employee. Make note as well that people (your superiors, colleagues and others) are watching you regardless of whether there is a policy against dating in the workplace.