an0nym0us123 Posted July 4, 2022 Share Posted July 4, 2022 Don't know if this is odd or not, but for someone who never had much interest in having a family, I find myself as a 36yr old man starting to wish I had someone to pass things on to. Never really bothered me until the last year but its coming into my mind more and more and starting to affect my motivation. I have a small farm that has been in the family for over 200 years and it's starting to look like this is going to end on my watch. This saddens me. Also run another business in the construction industry which I'm trying to build up but some days I wonder what the point is. Pretty much had my ass handed to me on a plate by every woman I liked that I dated or had relationships with. I had more or less found peace with the idea that I'll never find "the one", and besides my mates are being divorced right left and centre after marrying in their 20s so I'm not exactly full of enthusiasm for the whole thing. If I wasn't getting stuck with a million pound asset I don't know if I'd bother trying again. I'm sure people will say I've still got time and yeah I know guys having kids in their 40s and 50s but it's not ideal. Not really sure what I'm asking maybe others in the same boat, who maybe missed the boat can chip in. Thanks for reading Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 I'm 56 (male) never been married and won't get married, nor have children. I retired at 52 and had been enjoying my early retirement (sans pandemic). In the event of my death, my long term girlfriend gets everything. In the event I out live her, my attorney has instructions to liquidate everything and give the money to a local food bank. That being said, I do plan to spend the majority of my money traveling and enjoying my retirement. No... there is no reason to work yourself into the ground if you have no one to support. My advice - consult an accountant and do some very careful retirement planning, sell the farm (at some point) and retire early. I have no idea how long 1 million pounds will last or what it will buy in your area. Enjoy your life, retire early, travel (if you so desire) and relax. You only get one life -- make it a happy one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ClearEyes-FullHeart Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 What about passing it to a cousin or other relative (if they exist and you are close)? I do not have children (56 now) so my niece will inherent the bulk of my estate, and I do like the idea from the HL above. Also in my community, a gentleman established and donated an art center as his legacy (he never married or had children). This was long before I moved to the city, but I’ve taken art classes and it’s it s lovely community resource. Maybe the farm could be bequeathed as a community farm (underprivileged citizens, organize classes/training, create community access plots, etc.) Just an idea. I am not familiar with farming but could it become a designated historical site for the better good? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted August 12, 2022 Author Share Posted August 12, 2022 Thank you for the replies. Although I've no one coming after me I don't feel like sitting back and passing the time, even though I'm in a lucky position and own my own house out right etc. I feel like I have more to give than just passing the time. I'm in the process of forming a new company, and I'd like to see if I can grow it. What I do in the future I don't know. I guess the option that jumps out is some sort of charitable donation when the time comes. I have some pretty remote cousins but that's about all that will be left if I live to an old age. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 12, 2022 Share Posted August 12, 2022 On 7/4/2022 at 2:14 PM, an0nym0us123 said: I have a small farm that has been in the family for over 200 years and it's starting to look like this is going to end on my watch. This saddens me. Also run another business in the construction industry which I'm trying to build up but some days I wonder what the point is. You don't have to pass anything on to children. You can leave anything you want to family, friends, proteges, hired hands, charity, etc. However your question seems to be you wish you had a relationship/family but dating hasn't worked out. Is that the issue? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted August 12, 2022 Author Share Posted August 12, 2022 I understand I don't have to pass it on. However I'm 7th generation here and I sort of feel like I'm letting team down. Dating/relationships did not work out in the past. I wasted a lot of time in my 20s but I can't get that back. I understand that technically there's still time but it's a rapidly closing window. And given how things have played out in the past I'm not expecting anything to change now. In all honesty I find it's even harder now to get someone's attention than it did before. To be quite honest I've become content on my own, I've plenty going on which keeps my head busy. I just have some sad feelings that I'm the last of my family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted August 12, 2022 Author Share Posted August 12, 2022 I shouldn't really complain, I'm in a strong position financially and some of my mates are going through divorce and in a right mess. I imagine some of them now probably wish they were in my shoes! Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2022 Share Posted August 12, 2022 31 minutes ago, an0nym0us123 said: However I'm 7th generation here and I sort of feel like I'm letting team down. I have a few family heirlooms that my nephew does not want. He is my sister's child, she only had one child and that is it. There is no one else. So I've resolved myself that I am to enjoy these family heirlooms while I am alive and that is what the previous generations would want. They would want me it use and enjoy these items and when I leave this earth, perhaps someone at at thrift store will find them and enjoy them... if not, then these items will rot in a landfill. You are not letting the team down, the prior generations would want you to enjoy the land and the benefits it provides for you. If the time comes to sell the land, then they would want you to enjoy the proceeds from the sale to make your life happy and joyful. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted August 12, 2022 Author Share Posted August 12, 2022 I suppose you are right. I mean I made mistakes but I did try as well, wasnt all my fault. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2022 Share Posted August 12, 2022 16 minutes ago, an0nym0us123 said: I suppose you are right. I mean I made mistakes but I did try as well, wasnt all my fault. My father was disappointed in me that I didn't settle down, marry and have a child or two. Whereas my mother understood my "nomadic" ways and need to move around unencumbered. Apparently, she had an uncle that was the same way and he lived a similar life. I have no regrets, as I've really enjoyed my life (so far) and it ain't over yet. Give yourself a pass, you didn't find the right person... you looked... you made the attempt... and it just didn't happen. There are quite a few people that wanted to get married, settle down and have a family and it just wasn't in the cards. Try to find some joy... somewhere. Whether that is traveling somewhere, or providing for others, or going on some high risk adventure or whatever. It is your blank journal, you get to write what happens each day on each new page. Link to post Share on other sites
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