glows Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 3 hours ago, HopelessNick said: I know she loves reality tv. We were going to go to watch Australia's Got Talent auditions but she pulled out last second cause she was busy with work last second and we couldn't agree on a different date. I just told her tickets for the semifinals would come out soon and she told me to call her when I had more info. I'm not sure if it counts as a date, but this will be the first time we'll hang out 1 on 1. During our calls, she has told me a couple of times that she's a slow burner (just got brought up in conversation) so I feel like this is taking it slow. Why don't you both aim for something more low key like a simple coffee or drinks by the beach? The above sounds like it takes a lot of planning and coordination. Her schedule appears unpredictable.
Author HopelessNick Posted July 1, 2022 Author Posted July 1, 2022 I just called her. 25mins later she messaged me saying "sorry I missed your call". If she wasn't interested, would she even bother doing that or is she just being polite?
Wiseman2 Posted July 1, 2022 Posted July 1, 2022 (edited) 49 minutes ago, HopelessNick said: 25mins later she messaged me saying "sorry I missed your call". So you have no interest in asking her out or meeting her and that is why you didn't bother to leave that in a VM? Why bother texting or calling at all if you are not going to suggest meeting? Then she returns your call and did you follow up? Edited July 1, 2022 by Wiseman2 1
glows Posted July 1, 2022 Posted July 1, 2022 3 hours ago, HopelessNick said: I just called her. 25mins later she messaged me saying "sorry I missed your call". If she wasn't interested, would she even bother doing that or is she just being polite? It sounds polite. Nothing else. You won’t know if someone is interested in the same way until you ask that person out and meet in person.
Happy Lemming Posted July 1, 2022 Posted July 1, 2022 10 hours ago, HopelessNick said: I just called her. Did you have the date planned out?? Date-Time-Place-Activity?? If not, you need to formulate a plan for a date and have a backup date plan in case she doesn't like your first idea. If she doesn't answer -- leave a voicemail with your first date plan "Hey Sally, This is Nick -- Would you like to catch that new Tom Cruise movie on Saturday night?? It's playing at ABC theater and there's this great Tex-Mex place next door. You up for some Tex-Mex and Top Gun 2??" Now you have put the ball in her court, she can say "yes, that sounds great" or "no, what other ideas do you have" By not leaving a message with your date plan, she has no idea what you want or why you are calling. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 On 6/30/2022 at 4:04 PM, HopelessNick said: I just told her tickets for the semifinals would come out soon and she told me to call her when I had more info. I'm not sure if it counts as a date, but this will be the first time we'll hang out 1 on 1 Why not aim for something more low-key? You have never met. Keep it simple: a coffee, a drink, maybe lunch or a walk in a nearby park. You don't know if you two would even mesh well in person, nor if she is romantically interested. Don't get too ahead of yourself in planning a big first meeting. You have been talking for a while but you don't actually know each other on any significant level.
basil67 Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 I totally get that you didn't leave a VM when she missed your call - it's not like people actually listen to them. And leaving a VM never fails to sound weird and awkward anyway. Her response of leaving the text 'I missed your call' was one of moderate interest. If she was really interested, she would have called you back. If she had no interest, she would have ignored your missed call. You'll have to give it another try
Wiseman2 Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 On 6/30/2022 at 10:04 AM, HopelessNick said: Is it too early to call a girl hun on text before asking her out? Have you tried asking her out? See what the response is.
Author HopelessNick Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 I kinda asked her out to the zoo. As soon as I asked her, her face went red immediately. I don’t know if it was embarrassment, disgust or what. I can’t remember what she said cause I was focused on her face. We continued chatting for another hour. At the end of the chat, I said I was serious about the zoo and she said maybe not this week because of the rain. I said I meant when I’m off work for 2 weeks at the end of the month and she told me to message her closer to the date. Why do you think she went red? Maybe she thought it was awkward?
glows Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 12 minutes ago, HopelessNick said: I kinda asked her out to the zoo. As soon as I asked her, her face went red immediately. I don’t know if it was embarrassment, disgust or what. I can’t remember what she said cause I was focused on her face. We continued chatting for another hour. At the end of the chat, I said I was serious about the zoo and she said maybe not this week because of the rain. I said I meant when I’m off work for 2 weeks at the end of the month and she told me to message her closer to the date. Why do you think she went red? Maybe she thought it was awkward? It may not mean anything. Focus on what she’s saying. You don’t want someone to have to keep repeating themselves to you. I’m curious: why the zoo? A coffee or drinks might have been so much easier and it’s indoors.
Author HopelessNick Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 Just now, glows said: It may not mean anything. Focus on what she’s saying. You don’t want someone to have to keep repeating themselves to you. I’m curious: why the zoo? A coffee or drinks might have been so much easier and it’s indoors. I want it to be different to most first dates haha
glows Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 3 minutes ago, HopelessNick said: I want it to be different to most first dates haha That’s fine. Just be aware that uniqueness doesn’t get any points when you meet someone the first time. You have never met before. Keeping it simple, predictable and low key is what many feel more safe with. What you have now is stalling due to weather.
Wiseman2 Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 20 minutes ago, HopelessNick said: As soon as I asked her, her face went red immediately. she told me to message her closer to the date. Why do you think she went red? Maybe she thought it was awkward? Sorry this happened. Sounds like she stumbled on how to sat "no" to a date, thus turned red. Notice she did not make a counteroffer inside or anywhere else.
Author HopelessNick Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened. Sounds like she stumbled on how to sat "no" to a date, thus turned red. Notice she did not make a counteroffer inside or anywhere else. Maybe she was caught off guard and didn't expect me to ask her out?
glows Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 20 minutes ago, HopelessNick said: Maybe she was caught off guard and didn't expect me to ask her out? You don’t know what her response was because you didn’t listen to what she said. She could have offered another alternative and you may not have heard it. Suggest a low key date and avoid the zoo idea since the weather isn’t good. If you’re asking anyone down the line out to something that’s weather dependent check the weather first.
Happy Lemming Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 1 hour ago, HopelessNick said: I kinda asked her out to the zoo. I like the zoo idea!! Many years ago, I planned a first date at this new aquarium building that had just opened. It turned out to be the perfect first date. The woman told me it was the BEST first date, she had ever been on. Personally, I like to take women on "activity" dates, not just dinner at a restaurant. If she wanted to go out with you, she would have given you an enthusiastic "YES" -- regardless of the activity. I have no idea why she would turn red. You also followed up at the end of the conversation (regarding the zoo) and still she didn't say anything. She should have said "That sounds great" or "looking forward to seeing you" or "Last time I was at the zoo, I was attacked by a monkey and I don't ever want to go back", but nothing. I don't think she is interested in going out with you -- maybe she likes you as a video pen-pal, but that isn't what you want. Try to plan one more date and ask her out -- (indoor activity) if she doesn't give you a straight up "YES", cut your losses and move on.
Wiseman2 Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 3 hours ago, HopelessNick said: Maybe she was caught off guard and didn't expect me to ask her out? Yes, that and if she were interested she would have made a countersuggestion such as "well it's raining, what about coffee or a drink?", but alas she just fobbed it off as 'text me later'. Sounds like your a videochat pal and that's it.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2022 Posted July 4, 2022 12 hours ago, HopelessNick said: Maybe she was caught off guard and didn't expect me to ask her out? An interested woman is not going to struggle to say "yes" to a date invitation, Nick. 1
Author HopelessNick Posted July 4, 2022 Author Posted July 4, 2022 I think I'm just gonna do what she said and ask her again closer to the date
AndyCapp99 Posted July 4, 2022 Posted July 4, 2022 How many times and how many ways does this girl need to say “no”? 1
Alpacalia Posted July 4, 2022 Posted July 4, 2022 (edited) On 6/30/2022 at 7:04 AM, HopelessNick said: I just told her tickets for the semifinals would come out soon and she told me to call her when I had more info. On 7/3/2022 at 8:09 AM, HopelessNick said: I said I meant when I’m off work for 2 weeks at the end of the month and she told me to message her closer to the date. What is the purpose of planning these dates so far in advance? Although it is nice to give a few days notice, you have actually been talking to each other for the past few months. What is the reason that you cannot get together sooner for a short date? Based on what you've said, it looks like you've been texting her for a while already. In the middle of a pretend drunken haze, you accidentally called her hun and when you call her you don't leave a message. She cancelled your date without offering a reschedule and she scoffed at your idea for rescheduling. Individuals with an interest in you are more likely to want to meet with you soon than later. It's toast, I think. Edited July 4, 2022 by Alpacalia 3
Author HopelessNick Posted July 8, 2022 Author Posted July 8, 2022 Something different happened today. Firstly, she doesn't watch any sport, but she knows I love it. Today she started talking to me about football (even though you could tell she was struggling and not everything she said was factually right). Secondly, I told her to say coca cola without her lips touching (your lips don't touch even when you say it normally). She was like "nooooooooo" a few times and her tone was like really girly and she almost sounded like a little kid. She was also "you'll laugh at me. Noooooo". Does that mean anything?
Wiseman2 Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 26 minutes ago, HopelessNick said: Does that mean anything? Has she rescheduled the date or is she still in the textbuddy-zone?
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