Wiseman2 Posted July 20, 2022 Posted July 20, 2022 4 minutes ago, partycity said: Tooday he sent me a good morning text. And told me to have a good day . Ok. If you want to keep chatting that's fine but you seem to want a BF and he doesn't want that. When you free yourself from this you'll be able to focus on men who are more clearly interested in you. He's not asking you out, turned down your sexual suggestions and has explained he's "too busy".
ExpatInItaly Posted July 20, 2022 Posted July 20, 2022 2 hours ago, partycity said: today he sent me a good morning text. And told me to have a good day . Eh, I wouldn't hang hopes on that as a good sign of anything. He's already told you he cannot commit to something with you. That is what matters. Be careful with guys like this. They will string you along and keep you hooked until they've found the next woman. 1
poppyfields Posted July 20, 2022 Posted July 20, 2022 (edited) 9 hours ago, partycity said: today he sent me a good morning text. And told me to have a good day . Wow, big whoop. It's scraps and frankly rather insulting. Raise standards OP, aim higher. Men will respect you for it but more importantly, you will respect yourself more for it. Edited July 20, 2022 by poppyfields 2
stillafool Posted July 20, 2022 Posted July 20, 2022 On 7/18/2022 at 1:16 PM, partycity said: really feel like he has good intentions . I don’t see why he would make all this effort and tell me he likes me just for sex. What effort?
Author partycity Posted July 20, 2022 Author Posted July 20, 2022 15 minutes ago, stillafool said: What effort? Taking me out on dates. Paying. Giving affection. Texting me after . Texting me in the morning . Asking questions about me. Calling me when he’s out with friends even at 3am. Showing me where he is with pictures and location on. currently we are talking over text. Right now.
basil67 Posted July 20, 2022 Posted July 20, 2022 18 minutes ago, partycity said: Taking me out on dates. Paying. Giving affection. Texting me after . Texting me in the morning . Asking questions about me. Calling me when he’s out with friends even at 3am. Showing me where he is with pictures and location on. currently we are talking over text. Right now. Wait...I thought he was too busy or disengaged now. If he's been showing high interest all along, what exactly is the problem? 2
Author partycity Posted July 21, 2022 Author Posted July 21, 2022 47 minutes ago, basil67 said: Wait...I thought he was too busy or disengaged now. If he's been showing high interest all along, what exactly is the problem? I don’t know I think he might not be financially ready. He was been looking for a job since last month after his 2nd job ended but idk. He told me he’s always trying to better himself to get to where he wants to be .
poppyfields Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 28 minutes ago, partycity said: I don’t know I think he might not be financially ready. He was been looking for a job since last month after his 2nd job ended but idk. He told me he’s always trying to better himself to get to where he wants to be . I think @basil67 meant what is the problem for you, why this thread? I mean since he's doing and HAS been doing all this? 1 hour ago, partycity said: Taking me out on dates. Paying. Giving affection. Texting me after . Texting me in the morning . Asking questions about me. Calling me when he’s out with friends even at 3am. Showing me where he is with pictures and location on. I am completely confused now.
basil67 Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 @poppyfields is correct. What I meant was 'if he's putting in lots of effort, why are you concerned about the relationship?'
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 3 hours ago, partycity said: I don’t know I think he might not be financially ready. No, you're making excuses for him here. He already told you the reasons he doesn't want to move forward, and it's unrelated to money. You are going to get burnt if you hang around for this guy.
Author partycity Posted July 21, 2022 Author Posted July 21, 2022 (edited) 36 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: No, you're making excuses for him here. He already told you the reasons he doesn't want to move forward, and it's unrelated to money. You are going to get burnt if you hang around for this guy. I know him well. He also admitted today he’s an avoidant attachment style guy. He was busy all day yet he texted me all day today until he went to bed We were discussing attachment styles Edited July 21, 2022 by partycity
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 1 hour ago, partycity said: He also admitted today he’s an avoidant attachment style guy. Yikes. Run for the hills, girl. You are ignoring big red flags. And there is no way you know him well when you've only been on 7 or 8 dates. Don't fool yourself into thinking that.
Alpacalia Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 1 hour ago, partycity said: He also admitted today he’s an avoidant attachment style guy Which one? Dismissive or fearful avoidant?
Author partycity Posted July 21, 2022 Author Posted July 21, 2022 15 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Which one? Dismissive or fearful avoidant? Fearful Avoidant Attachment
Wiseman2 Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 9 hours ago, partycity said: Calling me when he’s out with friends even at 3am. You are asking "what is he really going for?". Calling you at obnoxious times to tell you he's out partying with friends is rude, so it's best to delete and block him so you can pursue men who are clearly interested and treat you with respect.
Alpacalia Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 (edited) 7 hours ago, partycity said: Fearful Avoidant Attachment Okay, thank you. I think you have to put his "attachment style" aside and look at what exactly you've got in front of you. If you are curious about Fearful Avoidant, I think the following summarizes it pretty well (as a recovering "FA" myself )https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/201505/come-here-go-away-the-dynamics-fearful-attachment You need to ask yourself a couple of questions: are you having fun? Do you want to find out more about him? When the answer is no, it's time to move on. Edited July 21, 2022 by Alpacalia
Author partycity Posted July 22, 2022 Author Posted July 22, 2022 15 hours ago, Alpacalia said: Okay, thank you. I think you have to put his "attachment style" aside and look at what exactly you've got in front of you. If you are curious about Fearful Avoidant, I think the following summarizes it pretty well (as a recovering "FA" myself )https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/201505/come-here-go-away-the-dynamics-fearful-attachment You need to ask yourself a couple of questions: are you having fun? Do you want to find out more about him? When the answer is no, it's time to move on. So what are you saying? He wants to just keep getting to know me? And continue having fun?
Alpacalia Posted July 22, 2022 Posted July 22, 2022 10 hours ago, partycity said: So what are you saying? He wants to just keep getting to know me? And continue having fun? Not at all. I intended my question for you. Make it a part of your dating criteria in the future. When dating ceases to be enjoyable and you are constantly being told that there are x, y, z reasons for their actions (or their lack thereof), it is time to move on.
Author partycity Posted July 22, 2022 Author Posted July 22, 2022 27 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Not at all. I intended my question for you. Make it a part of your dating criteria in the future. When dating ceases to be enjoyable and you are constantly being told that there are x, y, z reasons for their actions (or their lack thereof), it is time to move on. We are talking at the moment. Just going to go with the flow. See how things go. We haven’t seen each other for 13 days which is hard we are both busy . Last time I asked to see him he yes said but later said he’s tired and we will have to do it another time. I notice he likes when I message him first . Odd it seems
Wiseman2 Posted July 22, 2022 Posted July 22, 2022 8 minutes ago, partycity said: I asked to see him he yes said but later said he’s tired and we will have to do it another time. No one is "too busy" for what's important to them. Texting is cheap, lazy and not dating. Stop initiating texts and see if he steps up. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 22, 2022 Posted July 22, 2022 2 hours ago, partycity said: I notice he likes when I message him first . Odd it seems Why is it odd? He makes very little effort with you now and you keep coming around. A lot of people will happily enjoy your attention without having sincere intent to date you on a more serious level. You're making it really easy on him to just keep coasting without offering much more. 1
Author partycity Posted July 25, 2022 Author Posted July 25, 2022 Guys he’s trying to slow things down I bet. When I ask him what he’s doing on Monday he doesn’t respond but when I send him pics he will compliment and talk to me about my day. I guess it’s a lost. Cause. I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks time to move on even if it hurts. 2
Author partycity Posted July 25, 2022 Author Posted July 25, 2022 But if I ask when we will have sex he says “ we will see” . Even though he really is attracted to me
Author partycity Posted July 25, 2022 Author Posted July 25, 2022 (edited) 10 minutes ago, S2B said: So another week has passed and he hasn’t made effort to see you. do NOT contact him again! He is wasting your time and energy! I’m just going to ask him tomorrow if he still wants to see me and take that as my answer. Im going to ask him to be honest. Edited July 25, 2022 by partycity 1
Author partycity Posted July 25, 2022 Author Posted July 25, 2022 1 minute ago, S2B said: Party - no. Just no. he’s answered you with his inaction. the guy isn’t interested. Don’t contact him. You are appearing desperate. Nah I don’t think so. No way a guy can fake dis interest. I need to know.
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