Live&Learn Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 I am new to this forum thing but I have viewed many posts on this site. I have a question for why men do what they do. I was dating a guy for 10 months he goes on vacation doesn't speak to me the whole time. Whatever I thought hey maybe he is just really busy. He comes back and breaks up with me. He had no real explanation and all he could say was that he never saw us going anywhere in the first place. My response of course then why did you waste my time for 10 months and throw away a friendship we were friends for 2 years before anything romantic began. A day after the breakup I gathered anything and everything that reminded me of him: gifts from special occasions, his toothbrush and clothing, and I went to his apartment and dropped it all off. Well then the next morning I am leaving for work open the door and there is a note on the door. His pathetic attempt at making himself feel better I assume. It stated that he knows he may be making a big mistake because I am the best thing going for him and then he says but he knows he made the right decision. A contradiction I know. He continued on with meaningless words that only angered me the more that I read it. SO that day at work I emailed him and said if you wanna talk we can allowing him the oppurtunity to explain himself. I went to his apartment with the note in hand as I told him how it made me feel and I returned it to him. He once again had no reasoning as to why he broke up with me, but he did have the nerve to state I think we have a real connection but I think we should just be friends, so I left. It was hard and I was upset for a long time. But you know things get better. Well it was almost two months since the breakup, and I wake up one morning go to work, and check my email. And there is one from him. He states that he wants to know how I am doing but he understands if I don't respond which he stated atleast 2 more times in the email. He also apologized for not contacting me sooner saying that he didn't know what to say and that he still doesn't. He then asked me questions that were none of his business about my life, and he ended with You probably won't believe me but I do miss you. And he also bothered to sign his name with Love. This email just pissed me off again and sent a surge of emotions. I did respond about a week or so later with one statement "Contact me when you do know what to say." Well that has been over a month now and he hasn't come up with anything to say. I just don't understand why bother emailing me you know, what was it a moment of loneliness. And you think I would be flatter that he tried but he didn't even say anything worth reading. And now another month has gone by and nothing. So why does he bother? What is his motive?
cj_gal Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Wow..same thing here..if you find out let me know....I did the know contact for 3 days..I needed closure and talked to him this morning...He refuses to answer questions I ask about his ex..whom he is with..He said he doesn't know if he'll marry her,because she is not his soulmate(she is pregnant)..HUH..Why do guys do this..still a mystery to me..mine told me..he wanted to be friends and apologized over and over..I kept saying no..and he kept saying "so what does this mean for us" HELLO....He wanted to know what I was going to do..and who I was going to talk to when I get back to class(college)...You know what I feel anymore...Guys need to realize they "Can't have their cake and eat it too"..exactly what they want..they think they can turn on the charm and we will melt..it's true..but we need to be strong for us ...I am tired of being used..I am not just a pretty face and neither are you..he told me these months of being together were just lust on his part..He said you're gorgeous,sexy and fun and I am so physically attracted to you..but you are not my soul mate..My God ..what do they want..
heartnsoul Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Live&Learn. My ex just contacted me after 2 months of NC last weekend. The only thing I can come up with is guilt. He realizes that he hurt you and probably feels bad about it. He threw you a line and sensed your anger and went back to hide in his cave. That's all I can come up with. p.s. Doesn't that 'I miss you' crap just eat away at you??!! It sure did me!!
SilentPrayer Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 He is having problems letting go of you. Him e-mail you and asking of your feelings just shows he wants you to pay attention to his feelings. He was probably feelings soft, pittyful, pathetic and miss your company @ the moment. After your reply he probably felt or thought you were very cold and carping so he backed off until he is ready again to try and stir up old stuff, Let him do what he wants....e-mail you as often as you want. If you want to get back @ him. E-mail him as a friend and tell him it needs to end..this romantic side of both of you...tell him you realized eachothers faults....and you don't believe that partners should have this much missunderstanding between one another. Just carry on really. He miss's you..obviously but he does not know where to place you..past or present?? you decide for him k
Ruff Ryder Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Just a 3rd party view. By the look of things the amout of pian and all that you went thew it is probly not worth it at all..... I may be wrong. Good luck
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