JiltedJane Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 So about a week ago I met a guy through a blind date. He was actually really sweet, we had a lot in common, and had a great time. He was the perfect gentleman. However, the next day he was leaving for a business trip across the country. The day before he comes back, I’ll be leaving for Europe for two weeks. We seemed to really hit it off, and he even drove me home, opened the car door for me, etc. When it came time to say good night, he all of a sudden got very shy and nervous, so there was no kiss or anything like that. I told him to text me when he got home, and he did telling me he had a great time, it was great to meet me, and to enjoy my trip and day off. I messaged him back telling him I also had a great time and to let me know if he wants to ever meet up again. All I got from him was a thumbs up emoji response. it’s been a week since then and no other texts. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s not interested, or because it would be three weeks minimum before we’d see each other again due to our trips. I’m not sure if I should take that thumbs up as a good sign or as “soft ghosting “as the kids are calling it these days. i’ve asked a couple girlfriends, and none of them know what to make of the thumbs up, but keep telling me the text after the date was a good sign. They also keep saying I should send some thing flirty like “hey hope your trip is going good, I’m packing for my trip right now. Let’s plan to meet up after I get back!“ does it sound like a good idea? I don’t wanna embarrass myself or come off as desperate if he’s genuinely not interested in me.
Weezy1973 Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 11 minutes ago, JiltedJane said: So about a week ago I met a guy through a blind date. He was actually really sweet, we had a lot in common, and had a great time. He was the perfect gentleman. However, the next day he was leaving for a business trip across the country. The day before he comes back, I’ll be leaving for Europe for two weeks. We seemed to really hit it off, and he even drove me home, opened the car door for me, etc. When it came time to say good night, he all of a sudden got very shy and nervous, so there was no kiss or anything like that. I told him to text me when he got home, and he did telling me he had a great time, it was great to meet me, and to enjoy my trip and day off. I messaged him back telling him I also had a great time and to let me know if he wants to ever meet up again. All I got from him was a thumbs up emoji response. it’s been a week since then and no other texts. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s not interested, or because it would be three weeks minimum before we’d see each other again due to our trips. I’m not sure if I should take that thumbs up as a good sign or as “soft ghosting “as the kids are calling it these days. i’ve asked a couple girlfriends, and none of them know what to make of the thumbs up, but keep telling me the text after the date was a good sign. They also keep saying I should send some thing flirty like “hey hope your trip is going good, I’m packing for my trip right now. Let’s plan to meet up after I get back!“ does it sound like a good idea? I don’t wanna embarrass myself or come off as desperate if he’s genuinely not interested in me. Yes, I think that text is fine. Really who knows. It’s very early days; things might fizzle or they might not. 2
Alpacalia Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 (edited) 42 minutes ago, JiltedJane said: I messaged him back telling him I also had a great time and to let me know if he wants to ever meet up again. Take this with a pinch of salt. But a recipient of that message might find it to be passive, maybe? It's like you're saying to him "let me know when you want to see me again." I like your second message much better! Maybe toss in a "thinking of such and such (something that you enjoyed about him or your date) from our last date" or something. Edited June 26, 2022 by Alpacalia 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 He doesn't sound interested, if I'm being honest. I doubt he would let a week pass with no communication if he were, even just to touch base and say hi. An emoji to a mention of meeting again is not very inspiring, so I would personally not bother reaching out again. 2
Calmandfocused Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 I wouldn’t reach out either. The ball is firmly in his court. If you send that text you will be letting him know that your invested in a second date with him (which you’ve already told him so you don’t need to say it again). Yeah he may see a second attempt at contact by you as “taking the initiative” but I doubt it. I think it will just lower your value in his eyes and you don’t want that. Go on more dates when you return from your trip 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 6 hours ago, JiltedJane said: .They also keep saying I should send some thing flirty like “hey hope your trip is going good, I’m packing for my trip right now. Let’s plan to meet up after I get back!“ Sorry this happened. A lot of dates are one and done even if you both had a nice time. It's polite to say "nice meeting you, I had a nice time", but it doesn't necessarily mean interest. Don't keep texting him. Your friends may mean well, but chasing won't help. He'll be away and he has your contact info, so if he is interested, you'll hear from him. 3
glows Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 Were you attracted to him? It was only one date and he doesn’t sound very interested in planning to see you again. When someone is interested you know! There would be totally no guess work at all, waiting or silent thumbs up as if he’s talking to a buddy. I wouldn’t even think about him let alone talk about it with friends. Enjoy your trip and don’t worry about him. 1
smackie9 Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 IMO an interested man is direct, and would make firm plans to see you again. A thumbs up is pretty lame...don't you find that a bit of a turn off?? Leave it, you are better than this and deserve better. 4
poppyfields Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 (edited) Agree with others, a is incredibly lame. And while I'm all for waiting a couple of days to reach out again to give you both a chance to think about the date and each other, one week is much too long, he's not into it.. My advice is start developing an "abundance" mindset which means knowing when one man drops off, there is another man right around the corner. Don't allow yourself to become so attached to the outcome with one man after one date. He will sense that energy from.you and it may even be the reason he dropped off, it comes off as desperate. Edited June 26, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Alvi Posted June 26, 2022 Posted June 26, 2022 15 hours ago, JiltedJane said: it was great to meet me, and to enjoy my trip and day off. This is a brush-off. A way of politely saying that he is not interesting in taking this any further. Sorry to say, but when someone says to enjoy your day or your trip or whatever, this is your first clue that a person in question in not interested. "Enjoy your day" sounds so final. Kind of like you are a nuisance to that other person. At least, this is what I feel when someone (doesn't matter who) says this to me. Sort of like, it was nice chatting or meeting you but bug off now and never bother me again. Something you say to your neighbor or your acquaintance when you are chatting with them out of politeness. If he liked you enough, he would ask you to meet you on your day off instead. 15 hours ago, JiltedJane said: . All I got from him was a thumbs up emoji response. Yeah, agree with others. This is super lame. But he probably wanted to make it absolutely clear that he is not interested. He gave you no room to ask him anything because he doesn't feel like the two of you are a good match for whatever reason. Nope, don't message him again. Keep talking and meeting other guys. 16 hours ago, JiltedJane said: We seemed to really hit it off I can hit it off with many people. But it doesn't mean that I want to date them. 1
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