Boyfriend is great, so what's wrong with me?

[CityGurl]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

If the shoe were on the other foot, would you want your new boyfriend remaining friends with HIS ex and living at her home?

poppy, it's almost like a separate residence.  It's a totally separate area, bed/bath and a little kitchette outside the room. we even thought of renting it out to one of his friends. It's not like we're really still 'living together'.  The only thing we'd still be sharing is the driveway.

Plus, it's only for a month.

38 minutes ago, basil67 said:

So basically, the fact that he's still in love with you gives you the opportunity to use him for accommodation so that you can live more comfortably.   This is shameful behaviour.

 

I'm not using him.  He said he understands it will take time for me to find another place and it will not bother him at all.  I'm quiet.  He won't even know i'm there unless he sees my car.

[Weezy1973]

51 minutes ago, CityGurl said:

Plus, it's only for a month.

I'm not using him.  He said he understands it will take time for me to find another place and it will not bother him at all.  I'm quiet.  He won't even know i'm there unless he sees my car.

If he still loves you, he’s not going to kick you out after a month. And what’s your incentive for leaving a nice, rent free place that already has all your stuff right there?

 

He will know you’re there and it will gnaw at him. He’s being kind now in the hopes of getting you back. You don’t see it because it’s inconvenient. 

[ExpatInItaly]

Bad idea, OP, on just about every level. 

You made your bed. Part of being an adult is learning to lie in it. So what if you're a little uncomfortable at home with your mom and sister? As adults, we deal with the compromises we need to make in order to ultimately get on the path we want. Running back to your ex's home is not the answer, and frankly, pretty entitled and selfish of you to even ask. You (and he) are fooling yourself if you think this will work out well. 

Breaking up was the right choice, but I can also see you still have a lot of maturing to do. The way you're handling this speaks to an apparent theme in your relationship: it sounds like he and and his parents have been incredibly generous with you over the years. Now that you are broken up, you need to stop taking advantage of that generosity and learn to stand on your own two feet. Not use him for your own comfort, which is exactly what you are doing here. It's not right, OP. You need to do better. 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, CityGurl said:

I'm not using him. 

You absolutely are. 

[Lisa]

OP is a returned member who has previously been banned