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Jealous or controlling?


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Posted (edited)

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6 hours ago, AmyHershaw said:

He messaged me this morning saying sorry and suggesting me and him still meet up and talk about things on Friday

Why is this weasel not blocked?

7 hours ago, AmyHershaw said:

I'm still hurting after being emotionally and financially abused in my previous relationship

You've found another emotionally abusive man here. 

Enforce your boundaries better, and cut him off. Don't allow a pattern to develop. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, AmyHershaw said:

It's a bit complicated because we have a mutual friend that we're both close to, so our paths might cross again at some point. I'll be civil, but he's certainly not someone I want to have a relationship with after he's acted like this. It worries me that he'd be like this in disagreements, which are inevitable in a relationship. Yeah, even though he was drunk, he still knew what he was doing. And sometimes, saying sorry just doesn't cut it, especially when he's making out we should sweep it under the carpet and act as if it never happened. 

That's it, if he truly couldn't cope with it, he could've agreed to be friends or just walked away, but he chose to stick around. He didn't even spend time with me or get to know me as a friend, he came onto me the first time I saw him after the breakup when I'd been single for a week. Then he was saying on that night I was going to be cutting off my FWB if me and him were to start spending time together. 

Don't let your mutual friend pressure you into continuing to date him. There is no reason to be civil either. Simply distance yourself from him permanently and don't remain friends. If your friend wants to know what's going on, mention firmly that you don't wish to ever speak to him or meet with him again. It's frankly none of your friend's concern either who you date so make sure you enforce good boundaries in your friendships regardless who they're with. 

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Posted
40 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It isn't. And he doesn't care. 

Oh, hale no. That would be the last thing this guy ever said to me, because I would never have anything to do with again. 

Why is this weasel not blocked?

You've found another emotionally abusive man here. 

Enforce your boundaries better, and cut him off. Don't allow a pattern to develop. 

Yeah, there was no excuse for him to talk to me like that, drunk or not. Then to suggest that we still meet up and talk about moving forward, it's strange. 

Posted
5 minutes ago, AmyHershaw said:

Yeah, there was no excuse for him to talk to me like that, drunk or not. Then to suggest that we still meet up and talk about moving forward, it's strange. 

It's manipulative. 

My question is this - why are you still allowing him to contact you at all? Why haven't you blocked him? 

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Posted
8 minutes ago, AmyHershaw said:

Yeah, there was no excuse for him to talk to me like that, drunk or not. Then to suggest that we still meet up and talk about moving forward, it's strange. 

It's not too strange if he's thinking with the size of his ego. He wants to meet with you because he embarrassed himself quite badly and now wants to prove to you what a catch he is. If he thinks that you're in the wrong and that you're a terrible human being who needs to be corrected and disciplined, he's going to want to continue putting you in your place, verbally attack you and act the way he continues to act. Yes, it is manipulative. Continuing to speak with him is inviting a lot of trouble so don't. 

 

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Posted (edited)

 

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It's manipulative. 

My question is this - why are you still allowing him to contact you at all? Why haven't you blocked him? 

I never replied to him and he removed me off Facebook. 

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Posted
58 minutes ago, DKT3 said:

I'm talking about what was going on before that. You did mislead and gaslight him a bit. You were both talking like you wanted a relationship with him,  then you would talk about dating other guys.

 

I'm guessing his outburst was him saying f-it to you and whatever this is you had. 

 

However,  I'm in agreement with everyone else,  no matter his intentions you should walk away now.

Well one was just a FWB and it was never going to be anything more than that and the other one was someone who'd told me he liked me and we'd met up a couple of times. And I never mentioned that I'd date other guys, when he asked me if I'd ever do casual stuff with someone else, I said I wasn't going to rule it out because anything could happen. 

He got angry with me because I didn't want to talk about the problems me and him had been having while I was with my friends and we'd agreed to do it on Friday anyway. But then he messaged me this morning apologising, saying it wasn't like him and he still wanted to meet up with me and try and patch things up and talk about moving forwards. 

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Posted
27 minutes ago, glows said:

It's not too strange if he's thinking with the size of his ego. He wants to meet with you because he embarrassed himself quite badly and now wants to prove to you what a catch he is. If he thinks that you're in the wrong and that you're a terrible human being who needs to be corrected and disciplined, he's going to want to continue putting you in your place, verbally attack you and act the way he continues to act. Yes, it is manipulative. Continuing to speak with him is inviting a lot of trouble so don't. 

 

That's true, during the argument he was saying there's no point in us meeting up because it's just going to be "the same s***." Then after I hung up on him, he said we should. Yeah, that's what probably would've happened. Part of me was considering actually cutting off the FWB just to get him to stop, but friends I've spoken to think even if I'd just been seeing him, he would've found something at some point. 

Posted (edited)

What's strange to me is that you two are still talking to each other about stuff. Why not stop seeing each other?

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Posted
55 minutes ago, AmyHershaw said:

But then he messaged me this morning apologising, saying it wasn't like him and he still wanted to meet up with me and try and patch things up and talk about moving forwards. 

I thought this creep was blocked by now.  He's disrespectful to you.  He apparently can't handle his liquor and is a mean drunk.  I would never speak to him again if I were you. 

 

52 minutes ago, AmyHershaw said:

Part of me was considering actually cutting off the FWB just to get him to stop,

I can't believe you were going to do this for him.  He's not worth getting rid of the FWB because anybody is better than him.

Posted
8 hours ago, AmyHershaw said:

I never replied to him and he removed me off Facebook. 

Why haven't you blocked him? 

Posted

Amy do you work or go to school?

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