JadeStar Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Ok our neighbors daughter loves to come over and play with our kids. Her parents recently divorced and her mother has her one week and her father has her a week. I noticed last week when she was over that she had a bad cough. Which its that time of year for allergies and colds. I asked her if she had any cough medicine she was taking over at her dads house. (he is our neighbor) and it was his week to have her. She told me no there wasn't any there at her house. When her dad stepped over to tell her it was time to come home, I mentioned to him that she had a bad cough, and that his daughter said they didn't have any cough meds. He then tells me, "I don't give her medicine when shes sick, or has a cough." I then asked him, "What do you give her?" He then says to me, "I give her a shot of alcohol." I was like WTF? I asked him why and he said his mother gave it to him when he was a child. Now I'm not saying thats not so and maybe there are people that do that, but to me that sounds dangerous. Shes 8 years old. Looks to me like shes getting a taste of alcohol young. Do others agree that is not right, or is it ok to do that? I wouldn't give my kids alcohol for a cough. But then again what I give my kids others may not give theirs, obviously not him. I was talking about this to a friend of mine who is a pediatric nurse, she told me not only was it dangerous, but it was illegal. She said if he was caught by the wrong person for giving his daughter alcohol, reguardless of what reason, his daughter would be removed from his home and he would be arrested for contributing to a minor for alcohol. Jade
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 I am not condoning this....but the context of "shot" may not be what you or I think it is. EX:...when my girl was first teething....I remember someone at work say....give her a shot of Jack. of course i was like yeah right.....it wasnt till I asked them to explian what they meant...I mean a whole shot of JD...I cant even drink that s*** straight... anyway... They said to pour a little into a shot glass and dip your finger in and then rub the gum of the baby and do this several times. Not onky did it take the pain away....but the little alcohol that got absorbed helped her sleep. Of course I never did this....but afterwards....i found out that it was not uncommon for folks to do this back in the day.... BUT a shot for cough med...I duuno....maybe he says that....but its really only a teaspoon he gives her?
Author JadeStar Posted October 24, 2005 Author Posted October 24, 2005 Hey TMW, yeah I have heard of rubbing some alcohol like that on babies gums when they are teething etc as well. However to me theres a difference between that and an actual shot of liquor. I didn't ask if he was meaning a shot or a teaspoon but either way, I just think thats odd. Maybe back in the old, old days when certain kinds of meds weren't around for things, maybe thats what people did, but its just something you don't hear about people doing much these days. Or at least its probably something thats not talked about. I dunno. He never did say, if it helped her cough but he did say it would knock her out cold. I do know alot of meds contain some alcohol, but pure straight alcohol just sounds weird to me. He said that his mother giving it to him as a child didn't have any effect on him, however he himself is an alcoholic, not saying thats why he is one, but just saying could be a contributing factor. Jade
lindya Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 He said that his mother giving it to him as a child didn't have any effect on him, however he himself is an alcoholic, not saying thats why he is one, but just saying could be a contributing factor. In any situation like this where there's some cause for concern, I suppose that you have to consider what the other risk factors are - eg the father's alcoholism. One would think that most people who were recovering alcoholics, or who had at least accepted and were attempting to address their alcohol problem, wouldn't be wanting their 8 year old child anywhere near alcohol. I'd be having another chat with this guy. Something like "I appreciate she's your daughter, but I'm a bit taken aback that you think neat alcohol is the best thing to give her for a cold. Don't you think it would be better to buy one of the special cold remedies designed for children?" You're a mother, and I don't think it's at all out of order for one parent to politely raise that sort of neighbourly concern with another parent...particularly when they're acting in the child's interests. I generally find when I have to raise an difficult issue with someone that it's best to do so in a calm, friendly and matter of fact way. Too much "this is a little awkward/embarrassing, but..." sometimes just increases tension and heightens any reaction they have to you raising the subject.
RecordProducer Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 I think he is plain ignorant rather than a bad father. I would never give my children alcohol. Even propolis drops for kids that I give my kids are made without alcohol (as opposed to those for adults that contain alcohol). Some cough syrups contain alcohol so I guess it does help, but I agree that it's dangerous.
Author JadeStar Posted October 24, 2005 Author Posted October 24, 2005 Hi lindya I agree. Especailly since his daughter is always over my house when its her dads week to have her. I don't mind her playing with my kids etc gives her something to do. I have her over here, and don't let my kids go over there, I know that might sound odd, but its because at least when they are all here I know what they aree doing. I don't know what may or may not be going on over there, and especially now that I know he gives her alcohol for colds etc. Not saying he would my kids if they were over there, but my point is, that when shes over at my house, he never comes over or calls to check on her. Shes over here most of the day. I don't think he takes up alot of time with her and for all I know it may be his way of laying around getting drunk while shes over my house because he doesn't have to deal/take care of her. Its sad, its not her fault, but people like him piss me off. So if I do say anything else, I will be sure to be calm. I even sent over a bottle of childrens cough medicine for her to take home with her the other day. So wheather he gives it to her or not, I don't know, but its there anyway. Jade
Outcast Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 I wouldn't freak out about this. He didn't say he poured her a beer. This won't make her an alcoholic. In fact in countries where there is no restriction on kids drinking, little kids get bits of wine to drink fairly often and they don't turn out to be alcoholics. It tends to be things which are forbidden that become tempting to people. Most cough medicines do contain alcohol. You have to actively look for an alcohol-free one. So do mouthwashes and other household medicines.
lilmoma1973 Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 I think this is a good way for this child to be on the road to being addicted to alcohol .. I think this guy isn't doing what is in thebest interest of this child.. Hate to see how he raises this child and disciplines her when she has done bad!!Good luck
whichwayisup Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Can you talk to his wife about this? I mean, just casually bring it up and see what she says? Maybe he didn't mean a full shot but afew drops??? Sorry, I'm clutching a straws right now...I don't have kids (yet) but I DO know ya don't give a little kid a shot of booze. A sip maybe, but not a whole shot!
Ms_Sweetness Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I don't think it's anything to be alarmed about. When I was younger (about 8 or 9) and I caught a cold or something, my grandmother would give me a mixture of warm rum with honey and lemon and of course mainly water and it knocked the cold out faster than any cough medicine. Now that I am an adult, I still take the same concoction and will use it when I have kids. It's an old remedy and I see nothing wrong with it, there is not much alcohol in the mix.
lindya Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I don't think it's anything to be alarmed about. When I was younger (about 8 or 9) and I caught a cold or something, my grandmother would give me a mixture of warm rum with honey and lemon and of course mainly water and it knocked the cold out faster than any cough medicine. Now that I am an adult, I still take the same concoction and will use it when I have kids. It's an old remedy and I see nothing wrong with it, there is not much alcohol in the mix. I was also given similar remedies as a child...and on from about the age of 10 onwards I would be given a small glass of wine mixed with orange juice during Sunday lunch...and there'sh nothing wrong wish meeee Seriously though, I think in safe circumstances young children can consume alcohol without problems arising...so I wouldn't automatically freak out on hearing that a young child had consumed alcohol. Here, on the other hand, there are a few warning flags... ...he himself is an alcoholic....his daughter is always over my house when its her dads week to have her...when shes over at my house, he never comes over or calls to check on her. Shes over here most of the day..." I'm not saying call the cops, get the child taken away from that man - he's an irresponsible, abusive monster. I do think, however, that Jadestar is wise to keep a bit of an eye on this situation. In all the circumstances I wouldn't rule out the possibility that he might be adminstering these home made cold remedies irresponsibly or in inappropriate measures.
glittergurl Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Lol That guy sounds like a redneck. I'm sure in this situation, him giving alcohol to his kid is not a smart thing ... Anyway, I was raised in Europe, and I had my first sip of alcohol when I was 5 I really wanted to try, and my mom was like: "you want it? you sure? Owkayyy" It was horrible I almost spit it out. They let me take a sip once in a while; it was never considerred a bad thing but there were VERY CLEAR limits. So anywayzzzz, I don't think giving alcohol to children is necessarily bad; it REALLY depends on the situation on how educated the parents are. Kids are curious, and they usually hate the taste of it anyway; so that was quite a smart move my mom did there. I'm still not a fan of alcohol and have only been tipsy once or twice, I have never been drunk. I know my limits better than most people; I think my parents did a great job.
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