CLS63AMG Posted June 22, 2022 Posted June 22, 2022 On 6/19/2022 at 3:57 PM, Classicfiction said: Hey guys, I'm currently battling myself on something as usual. It kind of links in to the whole compersion thing again. Really what the crux of the issue is that I've found is that I'm inherently bisexual. This is something that I've repressed for a very long time and which has caused me a terrible amount of grief unfortunately. I want to be one way or the other but if I'm totally honest with myself I am both... and it sucks for me right now. I get depressed about it a lot. It has actually made me hate myself at times. But... I honestly don't know if I can be happy with just one man because of this. And it's more than just could I have a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time.... It's a drive to be with both in the same room, at least ocassionally. But then I get to thinking about the jealousy factor that would come into play and end up driving myself crazy. So my question for yall is.. has anyone had any experience as a bisexual person in a longterm relationship in which you did have partners of both genders... and did you run into jealousy issues or were/are you able to make it work? If you've been able to make it work, how do you manage? Just be honest, as long as you are up-front about it initially you'll find a guy that doesn't mind and is also into you hooking up with girls, you'll have an arrangement. Psst - check out a local swing site, you'll see how chill they are about it.
Calmandfocused Posted June 22, 2022 Posted June 22, 2022 18 hours ago, basil67 said: I can't find the history to this conversation, so please forgive me if you've already answered this....but are you suggesting your mother may have tried to manipulate your sexuality to make you gay? Yes, I know it happens to kids who are gay and their parents disapprove, but why would she try and make you gay? Could it be more likely that she knew you were interested in girls and was simply supportive of you? I’m also useless at finding threads but I remember the Op well. Her mother was very sexually inappropriate with her and still is from what she reported. Mum was actively encouraging Op to have sex with women, and to look at women (including herself ) sexually. Hence why I’m taking the “I’m bisexual” comment with a pinch of salt. Is it possible that she isn’t bisexual but thinks she that should be due to mums influence.
vla1120 Posted June 22, 2022 Posted June 22, 2022 (edited) 36 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: I’m also useless at finding threads but I remember the Op well. Her mother was very sexually inappropriate with her and still is from what she reported. Mum was actively encouraging Op to have sex with women, and to look at women (including herself ) sexually. Hence why I’m taking the “I’m bisexual” comment with a pinch of salt. Is it possible that she isn’t bisexual but thinks she that should be due to mums influence. I am sorry you went through this @Classicfiction If this is the case, then it might be beneficial for you to talk to a therapist, if you haven't already. A little therapy, coupled with having some experiences with women (if you choose to do so), might shed some light on how you are feeling and how you want to proceed. My only experience with anything like this is that a couple years ago, I had a friend who's long time girlfriend wanted to experience "the lifestyle", as he called it (swinging). They laid down their ground rules - they had to know when and who they were going to be with, no sneaking behind each others' backs, only she could directly contact other women in their couples circle and only he could contact the men so there would be no temptation to meet outside the boundaries of the arrangements. It blew up in her face because she got drunk and decided to get with another man without her bf's knowledge and also freaked out on him (actually physically attacked him) when she heard him pleasuring another woman a little too "loudly" in the next room. Clearly, she was not really ready for this new lifestyle she proposed. Compersion sounds interesting, but I think it would take quite a bit of practice, mindfulness, self-awareness, selflessness, etc., to keep from being jealous of a partner who experiences pleasure with another person (especially if they become attached to one another.) Edited June 22, 2022 by vla1120
Ami1uwant Posted June 22, 2022 Posted June 22, 2022 53 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: I’m also useless at finding threads but I remember the Op well. Her mother was very sexually inappropriate with her and still is from what she reported. Mum was actively encouraging Op to have sex with women, and to look at women (including herself ) sexually. Hence why I’m taking the “I’m bisexual” comment with a pinch of salt. Is it possible that she isn’t bisexual but thinks she that should be due to mums influence. i don’t recall her thread history…. sure how you are raised could affect how you define yourself. i believe people are inherently bisexual. Everyone born on a spectrum and it’s driven by nature and nurture and personal experiences and social environment you are in.
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