Gaeta Posted June 27, 2022 Posted June 27, 2022 On 6/25/2022 at 9:35 AM, Philosopher said: In the last year I have had one women tell me bluntly after a video call that I was rubbish at conversation and then blocked me,, another potentially promising date flake four hours before the date and another criticising me for not smiling in my photos. When I do smile in photos I end up smiling too much which ends up looking silly, so this goes back my comment earlier that I am not very photogenic, I can’t do a natural smile well in photos. Philosopher: Those women are no-one to you so their opinion has no value. While online dating I have been called all sorts of names for showing boundaries, I was called abrasive, a B$tch, tough, cold......and people here know I'm a warm person Ask yourself what type of person allow themselves to be this critical toward someone they interacted with once. If I am not happy with a conversation I stay polite and I simply do not contact the man again, I don't tell his flaws to his face. He's simply not my type but he will be some other woman's type of man. Stay away from those 'karens'. Don't take their BS. 2
Weezy1973 Posted June 27, 2022 Posted June 27, 2022 (edited) 21 hours ago, Philosopher said: I did forget to add that she said that I lacked confidence, so yes I think it was a personal criticism. Just because she had an idea of what she found attractive or not, and you weren’t it doesn’t make it personal. If you prefer blondes over brunettes doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with brunettes. Her idea of confidence wasn’t the same as your behavior. Why do you care? She’s a stranger. That’s what I mean getting it with online dating. You never have to worry about the people that aren’t interested in you. You’re not going to date them anyways. Edited June 27, 2022 by Weezy1973
Happy Lemming Posted June 27, 2022 Posted June 27, 2022 22 hours ago, Philosopher said: I did forget to add that she said that I lacked confidence, so yes I think it was a personal criticism. Trust me... I've heard a lot worse from women. In one ear and out the other, I just let it go "like water off a duck's back". I can't remember any particular insults, as I really didn't care what one particular woman had to say to me. Keep in mind, some people feel the need to spew vitriol to make themselves feel better. The fact that a stranger would say this to you means she isn't all that together herself and needs to put people down to make herself feel better. Pretty unhealthy if you ask me, be glad you didn't waste your time on that one. The fact that you remember this conversation tells me it struck a nerve. Do you feel you lack confidence?? 1
Trail Blazer Posted June 28, 2022 Posted June 28, 2022 You lose nothing by being on them, so why quit? Being on a dating app doesn't preclude you from meeting women by other means. If, however, being on these apps is negatively affecting you, then yes, you should quit for those reasons. 1
flaxcapacitor Posted June 28, 2022 Posted June 28, 2022 In my view, online dating is really only for attractive people. Maybe it's become more so as more and more places look to imitatate Tinder's swiping. I myself find it simulataneously tempting and demoralising. Tempting because it's easy and always at hand, when you're struggling to meet women in other places you might feel like if you pick up your phone and go through who Tinder throws at you, you might end up with a date. Demoralising because it just doesn't work. Maybe it does if you're attractive but for those of us who aren't it doesn't. I'm just estimating numbers here, but I would guess that I have to swipe right on approximately 100 women to get one match, then out of every 10 matches, only one will actually respond, then out of every 10 that respond only one actually agrees to go on a date with me. My numbers may not be accurate but that means a success rate of 1 in 10,000. It can take well over a year to swipe right on enough women to get one date. I keep doing it though, I'm a sociable person, I have a wide social circle, I meet new people constantly, but women who have the potential to find me attractive are vanishingly rare, and at least online dating every now and again throws up the possibility that 'someone swiped right on me, even if they don't respond when I message them, that's a bigger display of attraction than any woman has ever shown me in real life'. 1
Author Philosopher Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 So an update. I have decided to stick with online dating, but have switched from Hinge to Bumble. So far I having far more success with Bumble compared to Hinge, in that I am getting far more matches and have already had quite a few conversations from the app. I did go on one date today from Bumble, unfortunately there was no attraction. It was obvious that she had used a mixture of photos from when she was younger and / or they had been heavily photoshopped. This in my experience sometimes happens with online dating but is not too common. 1
glows Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 51 minutes ago, Philosopher said: So an update. I have decided to stick with online dating, but have switched from Hinge to Bumble. So far I having far more success with Bumble compared to Hinge, in that I am getting far more matches and have already had quite a few conversations from the app. I did go on one date today from Bumble, unfortunately there was no attraction. It was obvious that she had used a mixture of photos from when she was younger and / or they had been heavily photoshopped. This in my experience sometimes happens with online dating but is not too common. That’s ok. Next. Good of you to keep trying and remain positive.
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