Age difference when dating

[flashydog]

Last fall I decided to go back to school to get a PhD at 33. The average time of getting it in my field is about 5 years. This is a decision a delayed for so long, but finally decided to make that big change in my life. I'm enjoying what I'm doing, but after my first year I started to feel a little lonely and have thought of giving dating a try again (last time I dated someone was in 2019). However, it feels strange to be surrounded by so many young people. Most people in my cohort (mostly men) are 22-27, and the girls I've met here are 20-23 (mostly undergrads). Since I'm living in a college town, it is difficult to find girls closer to my age (it's not an issue for me but I get that it could be for many girls).

I think that I look quite good for my age (I'm very active) and nobody could suspect I'm in my 30s, but I think that dating would be very hard for me. I don't see how a girl in her 20s would be willing to date a guy in his 30s, or even if find a girl closer to my age I think the fact of me being a student living on a stipend would be a big turn off for her. Thinking that this will just worsen every year that passes is stressing me so much. Any thoughts?

 

Edited June 15, 2022 by flashydog

[Weezy1973]

1 minute ago, flashydog said:

…if find a girl closer to my age I think the fact of me being a student living on a stipend would be a big turn off for her.

 

While I agree most women in their early 20s would have no interest, I wouldn’t assume this about women closer to your age. Many would likely respect you for going back to school and doing something you’re passionate about. But also don’t discount that there are likely some women that are in the same boat as you. Mature students. Keep an eye out for them too.

[Ami1uwant]

If the girls are 20-23 they likely turn away from dating you.  If you find another grad student in the 24-28 range you shouldn’t have issues.

 

 

[Versacehottie]

you will never know until you try. I have a feeling that regret of missed opportunities is what is stressing you out.

And deep down you know that not taking action or trying to date will cause more regret. Once you try you will have better information of how to navigate the dating world in your current area and in your current circumstances. And it only takes one right person. good luck

[Happy Lemming]

Take a night class... those are usually older (established) individuals that are updating an existing skill set.

I took many night classes in my 30's to keep up with the latest computer technology. 

[smackie9]

The town has older adults living there...so look on a dating app in that area. 

[glows]

You won’t know until you try and it’s in the way you carry yourself too. Without confidence in what you’re doing (studying your phD) it’s difficult for others to see why you’re doing it in the first place and in turn, difficult to see what’s the appeal in dating you. Similarly, you’re also more than your phD and studies.

I think you have dating jitters and it’s normal. Get out there and introduce yourself to a few new people. Join some classes, find interests and things you like to do. It doesn’t have to cost much. The trick is just doing it and getting out there. Don’t get too caught up in hypotheticals and theories.