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When do you know that you are ready to start dating?


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Posted (edited)

I'm 23 years old, currently a grad student. I have never dated before. I met a girl (21) last semester in a club at my university. We've been talking for about six months now. I like her a lot and I think she might like me back too (at least she seems to like me as a friend). I want to ask her out, but I'm insecure about it. I feel that I might not be ready for a relationship. I'm constantly thinking about her all day. I've been stalking this girl on social media, seeing who she follows, who follows her back and what pictures she likes. I get anxious when I text her and get impatient when I wait for her to reply back. She's currently abroad in an exchange program for 6 weeks, and I'm often thinking about the people she will meet there and that she might fall in love with someone there.

This makes me think that it wouldn't be fair for her to date a guy like me. However, I know that I will feel so frustrated if I don't give it a try now.

What is the right thing to do?

Edited by redgrass0
grammar
Posted

You're getting ahead of yourself. A real relationship takes time to develop. You haven't even been on a date with this person or figured out if there's mutual romantic interest, so pondering a potential relationship with her now is pointless. That would be like someone running for president against a dozen other candidates and already choosing a new color of curtains for the Oval Office. If you've been mutually staying in touch and both are expressing some form of interest in one another, asking her out would be the logical step, don't you think?

Besides, everyone has to start somewhere. There was a time when your parents had never dated, but now you exist. 

Posted

How much face to face socializing has there been?

have you two done things together like get a meal…but just you two not as a group of friends?

i recall my times in college there was a group of people in my major i socialized with. It was near 50/50 gender split.  There was one girl I had interest in but I coukdnt tell interest on her part by trying to compare interactions.  You may need to just stick your neck out and ask.

Posted
7 hours ago, redgrass0 said:

I'm 23 years old, currently a grad student. I have never dated before. I met a girl (21) last semester in a club at my university. We've been talking for about six months now. I like her a lot and I think she might like me back too (at least she seems to like me as a friend). I want to ask her out, but I'm insecure about it. I feel that I might not be ready for a relationship. I'm constantly thinking about her all day. I've been stalking this girl on social media, seeing who she follows, who follows her back and what pictures she likes. I get anxious when I text her and get impatient when I wait for her to reply back. She's currently abroad in an exchange program for 6 weeks, and I'm often thinking about the people she will meet there and that she might fall in love with someone there.

This makes me think that it wouldn't be fair for her to date a guy like me. However, I know that I will feel so frustrated if I don't give it a try now.

What is the right thing to do?

What reservations do you have about dating? 

If you feel the need to stalk her, do something else. You know living in a fantasy isn’t working. Ask her out. If she says no, move on and date single, available women locally. 

Posted
8 hours ago, redgrass0 said:

I've been stalking this girl on social media, seeing who she follows, who follows her back and what pictures she likes. I get anxious when I text her and get impatient when I wait for her to reply back. She's currently abroad in an exchange program for 6 weeks.

You seem ready to date if you are interested in women. However this woman is unavailable for dating at this time. Are there other women you could socialize with and ask on dates?

Posted
9 hours ago, redgrass0 said:

She's currently abroad in an exchange program for 6 weeks,

Six weeks is a very short time. Be busy with yourself and ask her out when she’s back.

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