Author anotherconfusedlover Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 I was dumb enough to let myself fall in love with a narcissist. Believe me the disorder exists in both men and women, and I've found myself testing my ex to see if she would follow my predictions. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because someone with the disorder is pretty much screwed emotionally for life. NO HOPE OF CHANGE. I won't waste too much of your time explaining it, but I can sum it up with how she just spent 5 minutes telling me her "best friend" sucks and she may need to "drop" her (the same one she just loved a month ago) , I slipped into the conversation that maybe her friend was jealous about her new BF, she agreed!! WTF! That is just the tip of the iceberg. It is real easy to spot one if you spend a little time researching the personality type. It explained alot. They believe the failed relationship was all your fault to give them the excuse to use you for whatever after its done. In her twisted fantasy I will always be ready to accept her with open arms as long as she needs me for something. That is the hard part for me, to turn her away. The devil inside me wants to play up to her disorder with compliments, blind agreement, etc. just to remind me and reinforce how much I don't want to be with this person. Am I twisted? Maybe a little vengeful and cold. Sometimes you just have to make an unemotional character judgment and that helps you move on. It may sound bitter but I want to share want I learned. Some tips to Identify One: Definition of a Narcissist 1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) 2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love 3. Believes they are "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people 4. Requires excessive admiration 5. Has a sense of entitlement Translation: They expect automatic compliance with their wishes or especially favorable treatment 6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends Translation: Narcissists use other people to get what they want without caring about the cost to the other people 7. Lacks empathy Translation: They are unwilling to recognize or sympathize with other people's feelings and needs. They "tune out" when other people want to talk about their own problems. Inability to recognize and accurately interpret other people's emotions. some narcissists report "numbness" and the inability to perceive meaning in other people's emotions. 8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them 9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes
Author anotherconfusedlover Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 If you really loved a narcissist than I think it is hard to follow thru with no contact because a narcissist won't allow you to let them go. I think my only solution will be to be with someone else. That will destroy her fantasy and force her to really forget about me. Because even though I know I have every right to cut this girl off I still care a lot about her predicament because her disorder without a doubt was caused by an absentee father and an abusive step mother. It is seriously one of the worst, saddest stories I've ever heard. And I try to see the good in people and the potential for relization and change. I've never had to be the one to decide to stop loving someone completely, i.e. no more contact. I like alot of the people on here are hopeless romantics, always wanting the best but being disappointed with others/themselves. I know we can never work but I love her? It's weird.
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