bluedog038 Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 Last year I (24M) moved to a new country because of my job. I started using an online language platform for hiring teachers to help me improve my skills in the language of the country I was going to move to. I met many teachers there, and eventually met this girl (21F) who I clicked with there. She is a college student who uses the platform as a side-income and, coincidentally, also uses it as a student for learning my native language. We don't live in the same city, but quite close (40-min away). We've been talking (video call) once a week every one or two weeks for one hour for about 10 months now. I was already fluent in my target language when I met her so we basically have conversations on any topic. I always liked her since the beginning. At first it was just a nice motivation for keep improving my skills of my target language, but since the last 5 months I developed a crush on her and can barely stop thinking about her. I know that gauging her interest in me (it there's any at all) is complicated since I have no idea how she interacts with other people and I'm just a "client" of her after all. I know she's single. She is a little bit shy, good student, responsible type of girl, from a small town. I think that if something happens, she would appreciate it happening slowly. How could I try moving this relationship to a different level without making her feel uncomfortable? One obvious way would be to ask her to do some kind of language exchange and see how things go from there, and eventually ask her if she'd like to meet in person. In the meanwhile, what else could I do connect more with her? Sometimes I send her a message between lessons, mostly questions, but I don't know what else could I send her.
glows Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 Ask her if she’d like to join you to an event (in her town to start preferably). You won’t know if she’s interested in dating you unless you ask her out.
Wiseman2 Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 5 hours ago, bluedog038 said: . She is a college student who uses the platform as a side-income Are you a paying client? It could be a conflict of interests from her end to date until the course is completed.
dramafreezone Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 11 hours ago, bluedog038 said: Last year I (24M) moved to a new country because of my job. I started using an online language platform for hiring teachers to help me improve my skills in the language of the country I was going to move to. I met many teachers there, and eventually met this girl (21F) who I clicked with there. She is a college student who uses the platform as a side-income and, coincidentally, also uses it as a student for learning my native language. We don't live in the same city, but quite close (40-min away). We've been talking (video call) once a week every one or two weeks for one hour for about 10 months now. I was already fluent in my target language when I met her so we basically have conversations on any topic. I always liked her since the beginning. At first it was just a nice motivation for keep improving my skills of my target language, but since the last 5 months I developed a crush on her and can barely stop thinking about her. I know that gauging her interest in me (it there's any at all) is complicated since I have no idea how she interacts with other people and I'm just a "client" of her after all. I know she's single. She is a little bit shy, good student, responsible type of girl, from a small town. I think that if something happens, she would appreciate it happening slowly. How could I try moving this relationship to a different level without making her feel uncomfortable? One obvious way would be to ask her to do some kind of language exchange and see how things go from there, and eventually ask her if she'd like to meet in person. In the meanwhile, what else could I do connect more with her? Sometimes I send her a message between lessons, mostly questions, but I don't know what else could I send her. All you can do is ask her out. Right now you don't know anything about what she prefers. Sometimes the "shy" women are not looking for anything slow at all. If she is more reserved she may want a take-charge type of guy. A take-charge type would just go for it and ask her out. Guess my point is, don't make assumptions. Just go for it and see what happens.
BrinnM Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 (edited) Yes – I think you should totally suggest a meeting in person. You are new to the country, right? So you could use that as an "excuse" (not that you need one, but just saying.....). Maybe say you want to visit this or that place in her country (sight, museum, town, restaurant that you've heard about) – and would she like to join you (since she's the local, and you're the foreigner)? You never know what will happen. You don't really know her that well, after all, and in-person is always different. Maybe you won't be attracted to her in person, maybe you will, maybe she won't like you, maybe she will.....Anything could develop, or nothing. And even if it "only" leads to a beautiful, new, close friendship.....you can only win! Everybody needs new friends in a new country! Edited June 12, 2022 by BrinnM
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