Author Amanda141 Posted June 10, 2022 Author Posted June 10, 2022 3 hours ago, Will am I said: Yes you do! Over the course of two topics, there seems to be a pattern. The first dates are nice, you and your date are really into each other. Then the relationship becomes sexual and from that time you seem to be getting sub par treatment. Like the guy from the previous topic who wanted to play beer pong with his buddies and sleep with you. One could question: are you attracting the right type of dates? It's hard to judge from behind a computer, this is something you might want to discuss with a good friend. Apparently there is no lack of physical attraction, the guys must find you hot. But they seem to be missing how much more you have to offer. I recall from one of your posts that you're also a well educated and successful young woman and if I remember correctly you wouldn't mind if your relationship became more serious. You could look at where you find your dates (I suppose you may find different experiences depending on where you meet the person), but also at the "filters" you apply (there may be a difference between dating a guy who's still in university and one who's a few years older). And there is the possibility that you're sending out the wrong signals. I would suggest you talk to a friend IRL. Thanks for your message! I’m really trying to find the common denominator and see where I’m making mistakes and how to improve. Most guys I meet are from the apps, probably that’s why they are not looking for anything serious. Of course, there could be exceptions, but at this point I think the majority of dating app users are looking for no strings attached meetings… Since I go to the gym almost every day, I would maybe want to meet someone from there, so I already know we have something in common (passion for exercise and living nearby). or maybe even just going to a park alone to read a book… or even at the bus stop… just being more open in real life as well, since now covid is almost over and we don’t wear masks anymore. let’s see! 1
Author Amanda141 Posted June 10, 2022 Author Posted June 10, 2022 47 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I think this^ is a wise idea and may be why you're meeting men who "pump and dump." Also explains why women receive so many crude messages asking for sex straight away, I experienced that myself when OLDing and they want straight to trash. Don't mean to generalize cause there are always exceptions BUT I participate on a mostly men's forum and the majority of men admitted to having a very low opinion of women on dating apps, straight from the get go. Their perception of her is lower quality, someone to have quick no strings sex with, no matter how physically hot and beautiful she is, simply because she's on the app! I was shocked when reading but that's how many men think and feel about women on the apps. It's wrong but that's their perception and once formed, perception very difficult to change. Again, there are always exceptions but yes Amanda, stay off the apps if you're seeking a relationship with meaning and substance. $.02. Yes, maybe you are right and they also think less of someone because she’s on a dating app… 1
Alpacalia Posted June 10, 2022 Posted June 10, 2022 6 minutes ago, Amanda141 said: Yes, maybe you are right and they also think less of someone because she’s on a dating app… It sounds like men with that mindset have a negative opinion about women in general or maybe they are just bored with online dating, whatever the reason may be. The best thing to do is to stay away from those kinds of people. 1
Alpacalia Posted June 10, 2022 Posted June 10, 2022 (edited) On 6/7/2022 at 6:25 AM, Amanda141 said: Late April I match with this guy (25 yo) on Bumble and after chatting a lot, he asked me to meet. We had our first date on May 1st and it went super well: as soon as he saw me, he complimented me for my appearance, then we had dinner where he told me he already deleted the dating app (I checked, it's true) because he is more old-fashioned and only had been on a handful online dates. On the other hand, I must admit that I have been on plenty of dates (mostly from online apps) but most of them don't lead to anywhere further than the 1st meeting, as there is no connection or physical attraction. However, with him it was different. I immediately felt that there was something special and our first kiss confirmed it... I was head over heels! We had another date which lasted around 6 hours, lots of banter, laugh, kisses and complicity. I know it's cliché but I felt like I had known him since forever. My mind was set on him... he seemed like the prince charming my romantic heart had been waiting for. We slept together on the third date, it was good but then he started fading away. There are many good men out there who use dating apps. There are many women who have used dating apps and have found good men through them! My point is not that these women have been able to land on a magical app with the perfect date and the perfect man waiting for them. Perhaps with a discerning eye, sense of humor, and a bit of luck, you can tame the beast a bit and meet men who share your desire for companionship. Online dating as well as offline. [ ] It is time to slow down and become more selective about what you do and don't do. Edited June 10, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator response to removed content
Will am I Posted June 10, 2022 Posted June 10, 2022 5 hours ago, Amanda141 said: Thanks for your message! I’m really trying to find the common denominator and see where I’m making mistakes and how to improve. Most guys I meet are from the apps, probably that’s why they are not looking for anything serious. Of course, there could be exceptions, but at this point I think the majority of dating app users are looking for no strings attached meetings… Since I go to the gym almost every day, I would maybe want to meet someone from there, so I already know we have something in common (passion for exercise and living nearby). or maybe even just going to a park alone to read a book… or even at the bus stop… just being more open in real life as well, since now covid is almost over and we don’t wear masks anymore. let’s see! It all begins with you deciding what you are looking for. You seem to be in the middle of two goals. Dating for the fun of it, and dating with the idea of potentially meeting someone and starting something real. Which is understandable when you’re 24 and around university graduation. Your whole life is on the edge between university and adulthood. Give that some thought: what are you looking for most? The guys you’re meeting thus far seem to be the “dating for fun” type. If you have some hidden expectations that these fun dates should maybe turn into real relationships, you will be disappointed all the time. Your options are to accept that there won’t be anything more than dates and “no strings attached” type of romance, or to change your dating habits and attract a different type of man. If you choose for the second option, evaluate everything from where you are finding your dates to what you are communicating on your first dates. 1
Lisa Posted June 10, 2022 Senior Moderators Posted June 10, 2022 This thread has had a clean up of content which is group berating.
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