mmx Posted May 31, 2022 Posted May 31, 2022 I am a female and went on a 2nd date yesterday with a guy. We are both 30. We got coffee and went for a walk. The conversation seemed to flow easily. He had asked me what I was looking for in terms of marriage and buying my own home. He mentioned that he is thinking about those things. The date wasn’t super long, as he mentioned he’s super busy with finals week for his masters degree. At the end of the date, he said “catch ya later?” And we hugged. He then asked me to text him when I got home. When I got home, I told him I had a great time and best of luck with finals. He responded “Thanks so much! It was a fun time” He did not mention hanging out again. Not for sure if the “catch ya later” was getting towards that or not. I had asked him after the first date if he’d want to do something again, so I want him to do it this time. A friend of mine says he doesn’t seem interested and wants to possibly be friends. I didn’t get that vibe, but could be wrong. What do you all think? Is he interested or not? Should I wait for him to text me?
glows Posted May 31, 2022 Posted May 31, 2022 (edited) It's a little too lukewarm to me, personally. In other words, no, I don't sense much interest. Someone else might see it differently or interpret him as being conservative or guarded or that he's worth a shot or to see how it goes. That's all you can do. No one can tell you exactly what he's thinking or whether he's very interested as we can't read his mind or see into what he's thinking. As you were the one to suggest or ask him for a second date and want to gauge more interest on his part, wait and see whether he'll contact you. Edited May 31, 2022 by glows 2
stillafool Posted May 31, 2022 Posted May 31, 2022 16 minutes ago, mmx said: I had asked him after the first date if he’d want to do something again, so I want him to do it this time. Are you saying you were the one who asked him out on this 2nd date? Did he ask you out on the 1st date? TBH his response to you didn't seem like he was in any hurry to see you again. I guess all you can do is continue seeing other guys and see if he asks you out again.
Happy Lemming Posted May 31, 2022 Posted May 31, 2022 1 hour ago, mmx said: as he mentioned he’s super busy with finals week for his masters degree. This almost seems like he is making an excuse (in advance) for not calling and setting up the next date -- right away. Add to that fact that is was a "short date", it feels like he is putting you on the "back burner". Like you are his "Plan B" or "Plan C" if his primary choice(s) don't work out.
Alvi Posted June 1, 2022 Posted June 1, 2022 I think he is either not that interested or feels very "iffy" at best. In any case, the ball is in his court. He knows how to find you if he chooses to do it. If you are brave, you could message and ask him out for a walk or a coffee or some activity. He may or may not reply. He may say that he is busy ( a clue for you that he is not interested). Or he may say that he doesn't think that the two of you are a good match. But at least you will have your answer. But if you are interested and act interested, who knows, it might work out in your favor. At least let's stay positive. But don't wait for him. Talk and date other guys.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 1, 2022 Posted June 1, 2022 He isn't overly interested, no. As such, I wouldn't reach out to him again.
Amanda92 Posted June 1, 2022 Posted June 1, 2022 What does it mean a short date? If less than 1.5 hours than yes - he is not interested, don't text him first.
Wiseman2 Posted June 1, 2022 Posted June 1, 2022 10 hours ago, mmx said: . He had asked me what I was looking for in terms of marriage and buying my own home. he mentioned he’s super busy with finals week Try to relax. The dates seemed ok but not stellar. Keep talking to and meeting other men. Talking about marriage and house buying on date 2 is kind of weird, especially for a student, so maybe you dodged a bullet.
smackie9 Posted June 1, 2022 Posted June 1, 2022 Don't hang by the phone waiting/hoping...continue to date other people. If he contacts you later, then great. And the "catch you later?" really? The guy has no dating etiquette. That would turn me off right there.
Calmandfocused Posted June 1, 2022 Posted June 1, 2022 (edited) I agree with others. Let this one slide The bottom line is that he isn’t interested enough! That’s all you need to know. Btw, next time you’re interested in a guy let him initiate the second date. Be enthusiastic, be responsive, but let him initiate. I don’t want to hurt your feelings but it sounds like he gave you a very small amount of time simply because you asked. He was being polite. Don’t settle for that. Edited June 1, 2022 by Calmandfocused 3
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