Happy Lemming Posted June 6, 2022 Posted June 6, 2022 3 hours ago, introverted1 said: What does a date look like? Does he ask you in advance to do a specific thing or are these more impromptu hang-outs? Exactly!! Personally, I like to do "fun" activities when I'm dating someone, not just hang-out. Shouldn't he be date planning some type of activity that you might both enjoy, get something to eat, then have sex. I used to google "Things to do this weekend + 'name of my city'" and I always got some great ideas. 3
Alpacalia Posted June 6, 2022 Posted June 6, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Wait until there is a relationship before getting attached. I really like this advice. Adding to that point, if you aspire to be someone who has sex and does not feel anything afterwards for the person you're dating, but you know you will never be that person, then it's time to own it. And to be honest, that’s a lot of people. Consider that having sex with no feelings for one another isn't necessarily a worthwhile goal; you can always wait until you're both attached before having sex. Better yet, the more you get to know someone, the more you can suss out their character and where they are in life. Do you consider yourself emotionally sensitive? If yes, you might find that sex bonds you quickly with him. It can be powerful and helpful with the right person, but if you pair up with the wrong one, you may feel tied to an unhealthy relationship. In fact, if intercourse occurs too early, there can even be feelings of lacking worth if the other party feels there isn't yet a sustained connection in other areas to support the sexual connection. Here's the thing, you deserve that level of a relationship because you're amazing and you deserve it, so as you own it you will call it in. Edited June 6, 2022 by Alpacalia 2
divegrl Posted June 6, 2022 Posted June 6, 2022 Can I just say how much I hate snapmaps. The fact that some person we just met can know where we are… ugh. Yes live your life, have adventures. The poster above is right; you deserve a man that makes you feel fully seen and loved and special. I am sorry you are feeling used, ugh those feelings are rough. But this is a learning experience to figure out what you like and don’t like. Hope you find some happiness today!!! 3
poppyfields Posted June 6, 2022 Posted June 6, 2022 (edited) 4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Wait until there is a relationship before getting attached. Logically, this makes sense, but emotionally that is a very difficult thing to do for many people. Unless they employ the same strategy the OP's guy is - push/pull in the extreme. This type of push/pull is intentional, and it's consciously employed to avoid getting emotionally attached. As soon as they begin feeling attached, they pull away, sometimes for long periods of time as OP's guy is doing now. Either that or he simply doesn't give a (care), it's impossible to know for sure, you barely know him. In any event, whether his behavior is intentional to avoid getting close/attached or he views you as a casual sexual partner, given how you feel, and the short time you've known him, you might want to consider nexting him. While you cannot control your attraction or how attached you are, you can control how you respond to it and to him. Take care of you, love yourself first. Edited June 6, 2022 by poppyfields
giotto Posted June 6, 2022 Posted June 6, 2022 14 minutes ago, poppyfields said: This type of push/pull is intentional, and it's consciously employed to avoid getting emotionally attached. I’m not sure he is doing consciously. The guy doesn’t seem very emotionally mature. 1
CollinW Posted June 7, 2022 Posted June 7, 2022 As far as the idea that men pull away after sex, I think it's just a matter of priorities changing or not changing on behalf of both parties. I tend to agree with the sentiment that men have to maintain the effort before sex and women have to step up to maintain the effort after sex. And I think the consistency of posts like these across the internet prove the point. If women maintain the exact same energy and effort level, which women admit is low since you all expect him to chase, then what motivation does he have to continue carrying the load? The fact that you had sex proves you see him as desirable, now its time for your actions to match where you're at in the relationship and be okay with it.
poppyfields Posted June 8, 2022 Posted June 8, 2022 On 6/6/2022 at 11:06 AM, giotto said: I’m not sure he is doing consciously. The guy doesn’t seem very emotionally mature. I'm not sure either which is why I posted: On 6/6/2022 at 10:50 AM, poppyfields said: Either that or he simply doesn't give a (care), it's impossible to know for sure, you barely know him. In any event, whether his behavior is intentional to avoid getting close/attached or he views you as a casual sexual partner, given how you feel, and the short time you've known him, you might want to consider nexting him.
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