JohnRa Posted May 28, 2022 Posted May 28, 2022 Hi, Hoping I can get a feel for what to do in this situation... I was in the house yesterday playing the Xbox and my GF came home for lunch. She finished and went to leave but shouted, "Just to let you know I'm away, you haven't tried to come and see me" then slammed the door and went to work again. Should I have went to say hello? Should she have came and said hello? Should we both have met halve way? Any advice would be appreciated thanks
Wiseman2 Posted May 28, 2022 Posted May 28, 2022 5 minutes ago, JohnRa said: I was in the house yesterday playing the Xbox and my GF came home for lunch. then slammed the door and went to work again. How long have you been dating? Do you live together? Do you work? Why is she out working and you're so engrossed in video games that you ignore her? Has video game addiction been a problem? Or do you simply take each other for granted at this point?
Author JohnRa Posted May 28, 2022 Author Posted May 28, 2022 We've been together 6 years. I work full time and was off that day as the company owed me hours for overtime. I was playing the Xbox as I had time to myself, GF and kids are out. No video games aren't an addiction, I only play when I can as I'm usually busy (I'm 41 and have other duties). We don't take each other for granted at all
FMW Posted May 28, 2022 Posted May 28, 2022 It depends on what you normally do, how you handle these little everyday things. It also depends on the general "health" of your relationship currently. Personally, knowing you were off all day and that I was only dropping home for a short time for lunch, I would have popped my head in to say hi when I got home, and then again to say bye when I left. I probably wouldn't have been too bothered that you didn't stop and come hang out with me for that brief time. But obviously she was bothered. Talk to her, ask her why she was upset. Maybe this wasn't just a one-off, even if you haven't noticed she may feel you don't pay enough attention to her, or that you play Xbox too much. I understand you don't think that's true, but maybe she does.
glows Posted May 28, 2022 Posted May 28, 2022 This only suggests to me you both have other deeper issues. I think it's odd you didn't get up to give her a kiss or say hello and it's equally odd and inappropriate for her to be yelling like that or slamming the door. The reaction doesn't befit the situation even on her part. Any other disagreements? 2
Wiseman2 Posted May 28, 2022 Posted May 28, 2022 5 hours ago, JohnRa said: She finished and went to leave but shouted, "Just to let you know I'm away, you haven't tried to come and see me" then slammed the door and went to work again. Should I have went to say hello? Obviously she was upset that you ignored her so apologize when she gets home from work.
basil67 Posted May 29, 2022 Posted May 29, 2022 Manners would dictate that when you heard her get home, you'd pause the game and go greet her and have a chat. That said, her response was out of proportion. Yes, you were rude in not greeting her and she's understandably upset - but the door slamming indicates that there's a whole lot more she's upset about. 1
Happy Lemming Posted May 29, 2022 Posted May 29, 2022 (edited) You ignored your girlfriend to [continue gaming]!! She has every right to be mad. If I'm watching a DVD and my girlfriend comes into the room, I pause it and see what's up. I acknowledge her and listen to what she has to say (give a response or take appropriated action for the situation) She is more important than any TV show or DVD. It appears your X-box game takes priority over the another human being in your life. My advice -- throw away the [game] and prioritize your girlfriend's needs and attention [ ] Edited May 29, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude
AndyCapp99 Posted May 29, 2022 Posted May 29, 2022 The rule for us is when you come into the house or a room, you greet. The people in the house or room greet you back. You don’t come into a house, bypass the people and just go do your own thing. She should’ve come into where you were and said hello when she walked in the door. You should’ve paused your game and gone to say hello when you heard her come in. Its basic manners. I don’t even not say hello when I’ve had an argument with someone. 3
Els Posted May 29, 2022 Posted May 29, 2022 Yes, of course I'd say hello to H if he came back home while I was home. The only situation where I wouldn't is if I was in a remote work meeting. If I was playing a game and it could be paused, I'd pause it and get up to give him a hug. If it was multiplayer with friends that couldn't be paused, I'd put my Discord on mute and chat with him for a bit while playing. Not the most mature way for her to bring it up, obviously, but it really perplexes me that a 41-yo person doesn't know that this is the right thing to do. 4
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2022 Posted May 30, 2022 I'm a player too, but when my husband comes home, I stop get up right away, greet and talk to him for a bit, then go back.
Versacehottie Posted May 31, 2022 Posted May 31, 2022 On 5/28/2022 at 1:52 AM, JohnRa said: We don't take each other for granted at all not to make light of your issue, but her reaction and what she said to you, sounds like she definitely feels like you take her for granted and don't value her---actually what she said to you is pretty textbook for exactly that! lol. ok, so talk to her about it. Find out her meaning behind that statement (pretty sure it will be some version of you ignore me, or take me for granted but I could be wrong or there could be some nuance) and then try to make it right with her. If you didn't mean anything by your actions, it doesn't hurt to get to the solid communication part so you both can move past the problem rather than dig your heels & be defensive (not saying you are....well, yet). When you are talking things out, I think if you are moving toward a good resolution, you'd be within your rights to ask her to communicate with you rather than blow up like she did so you can resolve things productively and so you know why she is upset in the future vs. guessing and potentially risking more damage or a misunderstanding that gets taken to the nth degree. Good luck
Recommended Posts