Lifter0569 Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Okay...Truthfully and out of all honesty I need your opinions and suggestions on what I can do. Let me give you some background. I am in love with my "girlfriend" of over 1 year 9 months...We have had terrible problems with jealousy in the past and basically we want to run the other's life. We, in the past, didn't want to be a part of each other...we wanted to be the other's entire life. Jealousy really isn't problem anymore, we have been seperated for almost 3 months now and it was been so difficult for me. I have word documents with hundreds of pages of my feelings and thoughts on how I should go about fixing our broken relationship. We used to be very loving and now we are nothing but friends and are trying to break away at the foundation of our relationship (the friendship) to try and see if we become better friends; our jealousy will go away. Okay...since you have a little background, maybe you can make a better suggestion for me. Here is the deal with me: I have a terrible problem with going out in public with a girl if I am close to them (friend/girlfriend). I get so incredibly paranoid that guys are checking them out. I get pissed off and have developed a hatred for guys because I feel like no matter who they are, they are checking out the girl I am with. It's not that I am jealous and am insecure about my relationship. It is not specifically because I have loving feelings for them (even if they are my friend) because I don't care when my friend that is a girl has sex with another guy.. It really doesn't bother me that much. But if we're walking in wal-mart and there is a guy near, I get this terrible gut feeling and start to get pissed off and want her to walk as fast as possible because I dont want the guy to have the chance to look and lust after her. Another instance, I am so paranoid that MY DAD might check out my girlfriend when I have her over for the night. He says "Hi *girlfriend's name*!" even when she's not in sight and i feel like he's trying to flirt with her or I have the feeling he checks her out when she leaves. I hate lust so much. I seriously have some deep problems with lust and I hate lust so much for bringing me this deep confliction that keeps me from enjoying anything and going out in public. How can I sit here and be so violent and feel so much hatred for some guys when I do the exact same.. It is getting out of control and I dont understand exactly why I care so much. Here is my conclusion on why I think I do it: Because I, myself, do check out girls (as much as I hate myself for doing it)...I believe it is because I do it, that I think all guys do it. And I seriously hate the guys that are around me if I feel like they would look at the girl I'm with. So I really think that my hate for the guys is actually hatred for myself and the life I live. I hate myself for doing checking out and I think I hate them too because they are doing the same thing. So I am just hating myself. Sigh...Please help me, I feel so helpless and it's so hard to think of remedies for this condition while suffocating in it. Please, someone that is out there help me.
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