Girl I'm dating still adding new photos to her dating profile despite saying she can only focus on dating one person at a time

[glows]

1 minute ago, ramboparrot3 said:

Yep early days. Should I be concerned of the photo? To me looks romantic with a guy but going off her previous holiday pics she does go on holidays with her guy mates as well as girl mates in her friends group. She also puts hearts on all her Facebook posts as well

Should I check in with her later to see if she got there safely? Or just not reach out again until she does?

If you have reservations, don't keep texting to check in on her. It's counterintuitive. Just see what she's about. You're dating to see whether someone walks the talk or follows through/isn't a giant hypocrite and so on and so forth. She also could have had this trip planned long before she and you met so she's not about to cancel it just because she met you four dates ago.

[smackie9]

I don't know what you are fretting about. She simply wants to keep in touch with you because she likes you. She was just being straight forward about it so there is no confusion/awkwardness. That's it. Carry on.

[ramboparrot3]

8 minutes ago, glows said:

If you have reservations, don't keep texting to check in on her. It's counterintuitive. Just see what she's about. You're dating to see whether someone walks the talk or follows through/isn't a giant hypocrite and so on and so forth. She also could have had this trip planned long before she and you met so she's not about to cancel it just because she met you four dates ago.

She said it was planned last minute (last weekend) and she told me about it on the 3rd date. Part of me wants to check she got there safely because I care and also she likes that, but the photo rubs me up the wrong way a little bit.

Edited May 29, 2022 by ramboparrot3

[ramboparrot3]

4 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

I don't know what you are fretting about. She simply wants to keep in touch with you because she likes you. She was just being straight forward about it so there is no confusion/awkwardness. That's it. Carry on.

And what of the photo? Wanting to reach out and ask if she got there safely because I care and she also likes that, but the photo does kind of rub me up the wrong way a little

[smackie9]

1 minute ago, ramboparrot3 said:

And what of the photo? Wanting to reach out and ask if she got there safely because I care and she also likes that, but the photo does kind of rub me up the wrong way a little

You are not official so she can do whatever she wants. If you wish to have someone that doesn't have this type of lifestyle of travelling with male friends then stop dating her.

[glows]

5 minutes ago, ramboparrot3 said:

She said it was planned last minute (last weekend) and she told me about it on the 3rd date. Part of me wants to check she got there safely because I care and also she likes that, but the photo rubs me up the wrong way a little bit.

My guess is she is vacationing with a male friend and is silent about the details or evasive because she is defensive overall of what potential partners think of her male friendships. 

Personally, this isn't someone I'd keep seeing purely for the fact that she doesn't add up and doesn't seem very good at communicating. That's just my opinion. And I would not keep texting a person if I feel I don't know them well enough to warrant daily check ins. That would be overkill for me and prefer to let the relationship build slowly over time. 

[ramboparrot3]

8 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

You are not official so she can do whatever she wants. If you wish to have someone that doesn't have this type of lifestyle of travelling with male friends then stop dating her.

That I’d be okay with, just the way her post is portrayed. Also the fact she goes on about communication yet hasn’t replied back to my morning text and has posted that photo since. Probably better to date someone else for now just incase I get stung from this

Edited May 29, 2022 by ramboparrot3

[ramboparrot3]

1 minute ago, glows said:

My guess is she is vacationing with a male friend and is silent about the details or evasive because she is defensive overall of what potential partners think of her male friendships. 

Personally, this isn't someone I'd keep seeing purely for the fact that she doesn't add up and doesn't seem very good at communicating. That's just my opinion. And I would not keep texting a person if I feel I don't know them well enough to warrant daily check ins. That would be overkill for me and prefer to let the relationship build slowly over time. 

Yeah, her past facebook photos suggest this and these guys are part of her friendship groups however I don’t know who she’s going with except for the fact they are male.

She seems to like the guy initiating, checking in on her etc and it feels natural for me to ask if she got there safely later this evening, but… I feel like why should I if she can’t even be bothered replying to what I sent this morning. So I’m stuck between showing I care by checking she got there safely vs not sending anything else until she does

[glows]

Just now, ramboparrot3 said:

Yeah, her past facebook photos suggest this and these guys are part of her friendship groups however I don’t know who she’s going with except for the fact they are male.

She seems to like the guy initiating, checking in on her etc and it feels natural for me to ask if she got there safely later this evening, but… I feel like why should I if she can’t even be bothered replying to what I sent this morning. So I’m stuck between showing I care by checking she got there safely vs not sending anything else until she does

Like Smackie said she can do whatever she wants as and you both are not in a relationship so it's up to you whether you're comfortable with her friends, male or not.

I prefer keeping things simple. If someone doesn't take the time to respond, I don't respond back. What was the joke about, by the way, in your previous message? She may not share your sense of humour or didn't think it was funny.

[ramboparrot3]

13 minutes ago, glows said:

Like Smackie said she can do whatever she wants as and you both are not in a relationship so it's up to you whether you're comfortable with her friends, male or not.

I prefer keeping things simple. If someone doesn't take the time to respond, I don't respond back. What was the joke about, by the way, in your previous message? She may not share your sense of humour or didn't think it was funny.

It’s a bit of dry humour but she seems to like when it when we’re in person

“Hope you enjoy your holiday to Turkey (don’t rub it in too much 😂). Only turkey in my life is the one that’s gonna be on my Sunday roast today”

Although she hasn’t read my reply on whatsapp yet. She warned me at the end of our date don’t expect her to reply straight away due to limited internet access abroad. That’s cool and all, but if you’re still in the country posting a photo on facebook that could be interpreted as romantic might just be a little off putting to whoever you’re dating! Even if she’s with just a guy friend, I wouldn’t want to throw that on social media and look if ignorant to the other person

I get she can do what ever as we’re both single, but if she’s going on about communication then would be nice getting same energy back really.

I’d like to check in with her later if she got there safely just out of care, but I’m thinking I’d rather get a reply first

Edited May 29, 2022 by ramboparrot3

[Calmandfocused]

Hmmmm

Op be very wary of women who prompt a serious discussion about their expectations, then expect a different rule to apply to themselves. 

Translation “ I expect you to do what I want but I will do as I please”.

She’s put you in position. And you accepted this. Bad move! 

No I wouldn’t text her again. Let her get on with it. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if you post a new thread in a few months time complaining that she’s giving you the run around, is self entitled and flirting (at minimum) with other men. 
 

Or you can save yourself that grief and continue dating women whose agenda is equality in a relationship. 
 

 

[ramboparrot3]

26 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

Hmmmm

Op be very wary of women who prompt a serious discussion about their expectations, then expect a different rule to apply to themselves. 

Translation “ I expect you to do what I want but I will do as I please”.

She’s put you in position. And you accepted this. Bad move! 

No I wouldn’t text her again. Let her get on with it. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if you post a new thread in a few months time complaining that she’s giving you the run around, is self entitled and flirting (at minimum) with other men. 
 

Or you can save yourself that grief and continue dating women whose agenda is equality in a relationship. 
 

 

Yeah so until she replies I’m best just waiting. That photo should probably give me a reason to not message anything else as it would put others off if misinterpreted. I think if I message again and check in with her I’m giving in to her demands even more, until I get that returned then I’ll wait for her. If she has an issue with that then I’ll make it clear with her what I would like seeing as she has done the same, take it or leave it

[glows]

1 hour ago, ramboparrot3 said:

It’s a bit of dry humour but she seems to like when it when we’re in person

“Hope you enjoy your holiday to Turkey (don’t rub it in too much 😂). Only turkey in my life is the one that’s gonna be on my Sunday roast today”

Although she hasn’t read my reply on whatsapp yet. She warned me at the end of our date don’t expect her to reply straight away due to limited internet access abroad. That’s cool and all, but if you’re still in the country posting a photo on facebook that could be interpreted as romantic might just be a little off putting to whoever you’re dating! Even if she’s with just a guy friend, I wouldn’t want to throw that on social media and look if ignorant to the other person

I get she can do what ever as we’re both single, but if she’s going on about communication then would be nice getting same energy back really.

I’d like to check in with her later if she got there safely just out of care, but I’m thinking I’d rather get a reply first

Whatever you decide to do, it unlikely to have much of an effect. She’s traveling with other company supposedly on limited internet access. You’re not obligated to do anything so don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself. 

When she returns suggest another date if you’re so inclined. Don’t use texting like this to gauge great interest especially when someone is travelling or mentions ahead of time it’ll be difficult to reach them.

[ramboparrot3]

3 minutes ago, glows said:

Whatever you decide to do, it unlikely to have much of an effect. She’s traveling with other company supposedly on limited internet access. You’re not obligated to do anything so don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself. 

When she returns suggest another date if you’re so inclined. Don’t use texting like this to gauge great interest especially when someone is travelling or mentions ahead of time it’ll be difficult to reach them.

Noticed she’s changed her dating profile photo to a photo she’s taken on holiday today, so obviously she’s got internet there to update that and not reply to me. I think I’m done for now and going to focus elsewhere.
 

Whilst she shows interest on dates, her actions in between don’t match up. I’m not writing this off completely but I won’t be reaching out again if I don’t get a reply. Going to update my photo on the app and just see who else is out there

[glows]

Just now, ramboparrot3 said:

Noticed she’s changed her dating profile photo to a photo she’s taken on holiday today, so obviously she’s got internet there to update that and not reply to me. I think I’m done for now and going to focus elsewhere.
 

Whilst she shows interest on dates, her actions in between don’t match up. I’m not writing this off completely but I won’t be reaching out again if I don’t get a reply. Going to update my photo on the app and just see who else is out there

Good choice. 👍 

[Calmandfocused]

7 minutes ago, ramboparrot3 said:

Noticed she’s changed her dating profile photo to a photo she’s taken on holiday today, so obviously she’s got internet there to update that and not reply to me. I think I’m done for now and going to focus elsewhere.
 

Whilst she shows interest on dates, her actions in between don’t match up. I’m not writing this off completely but I won’t be reaching out again if I don’t get a reply. Going to update my photo on the app and just see who else is out there

Ouch! 
 

The message here is loud and clear. 
 

Look her behaviour is not matching what she’s telling you. This; “when we have children” talk is nonsense. She’s playing you. Disingenuous.

Back off and don’t do anything. 
 

And yes date other women. But do not change your profile pics. Your motivation will be obvious and it’ll give her the upper hand. She’ll know you’re annoyed. Why give her the satisfaction? 

 

[ramboparrot3]

21 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

Ouch! 
 

The message here is loud and clear. 
 

Look her behaviour is not matching what she’s telling you. This; “when we have children” talk is nonsense. She’s playing you. Disingenuous.

Back off and don’t do anything. 
 

And yes date other women. But do not change your profile pics. Your motivation will be obvious and it’ll give her the upper hand. She’ll know you’re annoyed. Why give her the satisfaction? 

 

I did change my pics half an hour ago but changed it back. It’s weird because she shows all the signs of interest in person, if I based it on that then I’d not suspect a thing at all.

The fact that she’s updated her dating profile with an obvious holiday picture from today just pisses me off. Yeah I get she’s single but she’s prioritised that over replying back, she hasn’t read my reply yet. Unless she’s doing it to push me into defining the relationship I don’t know, she said she prefers the guy to DTR.

I think i’ll just speak to others and maybe hit this girl up once she’s back off holiday but only when I have other options

[ExpatInItaly]

53 minutes ago, ramboparrot3 said:

Noticed she’s changed her dating profile photo to a photo she’s taken on holiday today, so obviously she’s got internet there to update that and not reply to me

I would forget this girl. She's free to date whomever she wants, but operates on a double-standard. 

3 hours ago, ramboparrot3 said:

She told me she likes morning texts to check in with her but also evening texts too to confirm she’s ok/how her day was. She told me about evening texts to check in on her day because her dad does it with her, so she said if we were to have kids she’d like to feel I was just as protective of them like her dad is with her. She also said she doesn’t expect to wait all day for a reply as she can’t imagine someone being that busy not to reply.

She also sounds incredibly needy. Only 4 dates and all of this?

Nah. Find someone who is not so high-maintenance and doesn't behave like a hypocrite. 

[ramboparrot3]

8 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I would forget this girl. She's free to date whomever she wants, but operates on a double-standard. 

She also sounds incredibly needy. Only 4 dates and all of this?

Nah. Find someone who is not so high-maintenance and doesn't behave like a hypocrite. 

It’s a shame because we hit it off in person really well, best chemistry I’ve felt for a while and I understand there will be other girls but just a shame really.

Just seen she’s uploaded a photo of her drinks on the stories part of facebook. I can see it from the preview but I don’t want to click on it so she can see I’ve seen it.

I’m going to go quiet this week unless I get a reply. If she wonders why I hadn’t reached out then I’ll say that she hadn’t replied. I’ll see if I can arrange a date next week and hopefully if this turned into a relationship then it’s not this bad. I’m hoping it’s because she just considers herself single and non-exclusive. If it continued to be like this in a relationship then I’ll break it off

Edited May 29, 2022 by ramboparrot3

[ramboparrot3]

Accidentally skipped onto her facebook story when viewing another 🤦🏻‍♂️ Tried to avoid that as she’ll now see I’ve seen it. Ah well, she’ll also see me not attempting to contact her again until she does so guess I’ve got that lol

Edited May 29, 2022 by ramboparrot3

[Alpacalia]

She seems to be oddly preoccupied with her preferences for communication with and response times from the person she is dating.

It seems a tad rigid.

While I am not sure if she meant it ill or not, it puts you in a bind since the methodical accommodation to meet her "communication needs" has now turned into an obstacle to the natural progression of your relationship.

Likewise, she has failed to do the same from what she expects from you.

You don't want to be in a situation where you end up giving more and more until you're burnt out.

The photos she posted are a separate matter.

You’re casually dating her. You are not in a committed relationship.

You too may be dating others.

You have no reason to be annoyed, although it’s understandable that you would be disappointed.

While it is a very space cadet move on her part to potentially hurt your feelings or unintentionally make you confused by posting a picture of her with other men after she had just had four really pleasant dates with you. 

This is a situation in which you will need to exercise your best judgment.

With her lack of reply after her whole communication speech and her photos of vacations on social media and dating profile, it's obvious she still considers herself very much single.

 

[Wiseman2]

55 minutes ago, ramboparrot3 said:

I did change my pics half an hour ago but changed it back. The fact that she’s updated her dating profile with an obvious holiday picture from today just pisses me off. 

Try not to panic. Keep things in perspective. 4 dates. Not exclusive. No need to start uploading /unloading pics and making yourself crazy over this.

There's nothing to fret about and be angry at. Try not to let anxiety run the show. Lead with confidence.

Whatever "deep" conversations you had on the dates really isn't because you don't even know each other. It's simple. If she texts, reply. If not, line up some dates.

[ramboparrot3]

25 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

She seems to be oddly preoccupied with her preferences for communication with and response times from the person she is dating.

It seems a tad rigid.

While I am not sure if she meant it ill or not, it puts you in a bind since the methodical accommodation to meet her "communication needs" has now turned into an obstacle to the natural progression of your relationship.

Likewise, she has failed to do the same from what she expects from you.

You don't want to be in a situation where you end up giving more and more until you're burnt out.

The photos she posted are a separate matter.

You’re casually dating her. You are not in a committed relationship.

You too may be dating others.

You have no reason to be annoyed, although it’s understandable that you would be disappointed.

While it is a very space cadet move on her part to potentially hurt your feelings or unintentionally make you confused by posting a picture of her with other men after she had just had four really pleasant dates with you. 

This is a situation in which you will need to exercise your best judgment.

With her lack of reply after her whole communication speech and her photos of vacations on social media and dating profile, it's obvious she still considers herself very much single.

 

Just to confirm, she didn’t post a photo with other men. Photo on her dating profile was one she did in a pool on a timer (can see it in her sunglasses lol) and the one on facebook is a photo of wine and a beer. I figured it was a guy friend because on our date she let slip “he” before correcting herself saying “they”. Although going off her facebook she does travel with her guy mates from her friendship circle.

Yeah I’m not annoyed that she updated her dating profile, despite after 4 dates, because we’re single and she said she considers herself single until I DTR with her. That’s fair enough. It irritates me that she was more focused on doing that than replying back to me or checking whatsapp to read my reply.

Definitely made it feel rigid but I don’t think it affected the fun we had on our dates. I’m not used to those “rules” coming up until we’ve made it official is all.

But yeah as she says, until I DTR then she does consider herself single. I’d like to but it’s only been 4 dates. Best course of action might be to check in with her sporadically over the holiday and just arrange a date once she’s back, just treat it as normal. She’s updated her profile after each of our dates and continued to see me, so worst thing I can do is act bothered

Edited May 29, 2022 by ramboparrot3

[Ami1uwant]

4 casual dates does not make you a couple

[ramboparrot3]

14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Try not to panic. Keep things in perspective. 4 dates. Not exclusive. No need to start uploading /unloading pics and making yourself crazy over this.

There's nothing to fret about and be angry at. Try not to let anxiety run the show. Lead with confidence.

Whatever "deep" conversations you had on the dates really isn't because you don't even know each other. It's simple. If she texts, reply. If not, line up some dates.

Worst thing I can do is act bothered about it, which is why I’m not going to do anything i’ll regret and just focus on other things this week.

She told me she likes being checked in with at the end of the day because her dad does that with her and if we were to have kids then she likes to feel i’d do that with them for their safety.

I think based on that, i’ll bite my tongue and just check in with her before tonight with “hope you arrived there safely”. It’s light and lines up with her communication style, but if I hear nothing after that I won’t be checking in again. For me it’s always been “two strikes” of communication then I don’t send anything else. Could be a test to see if I’ve listened to what she wants, but I don’t see harm in sending it. Either way I get my answer

Edited May 29, 2022 by ramboparrot3