Rayray76 Posted May 16, 2022 Posted May 16, 2022 I would like to share something that happened last night and want to see what you would've done if it happened to you. Last night my boyfriend was On the couch sleeping I asked him to come to bed several times and each time he told me to go lay down that he was on the way right behind me. I told him I would just go home and sleep if I had to sleep by myself and said it was really no big deal but he insisted that I stayed because it was late and he was coming to bed right behind me. I finally got him to come to bed and he walks in and said for me to get up and make the bed neat so he could lay in it. So I did and when I was done he steps aside and tells his 100lb cane corso dog to get in the full sized bed underneath the clean covers first..in the middle of the bed..then he lays behind him and curls up next to him holding him tight and then says to me..okay u can lay down now. I told him from now on he can sleep with his dog and I got in my car and went home. Did I do the right thing by leaving or should I have stayed. 1
Wiseman2 Posted May 16, 2022 Posted May 16, 2022 12 minutes ago, Rayray76 said: I finally got him to come to bed and he walks in and said for me to get up and make the bed neat so he could lay in it. So I did and when I was done he steps aside and tells his 100lb cane corso dog to get in the full sized bed underneath the clean covers first..in the middle of the bed..then he lays behind him and curls up next to him holding him tight and then says to me..okay u can lay down now. I told him from now on he can sleep with his dog and I got in my car and went home. You did the right thing. How long have you been dating? How old is he? Does he unusually order you around like a maid then curl up with his dog? Reconsider dealing with someone like this. Definitely do not sleep over.
glows Posted May 16, 2022 Posted May 16, 2022 I'm reading this as him being passive aggressive and acting out because you insisted on him coming to bed when he wasn't ready. The dog cuddle thing was childish and him basically getting you to keep quiet and possibly even leave because he might not have wanted you to stay over. Next time someone isn't ready to come to bed and tells you that, respect that and let him come to bed whenever he wants. All this boils down to difference in expectations. You were looking for something that evening, cuddle, sex, etc but he wasn't feeling it. Are there any other arguments leading up to this or during the relationship? 2
mark clemson Posted May 16, 2022 Posted May 16, 2022 Consider leaving him (as you've now "taken a stand" and he's unlikely to respect you very much, if he does now, if you don't stick to it). IF he wants you back, and you want him back, he can come to you and be a bit humble - apologizing for disrespecting you, etc. He may or may not be interested in that and/or willing to apologize. If he doesn't come back within say a week, then just firmly resolve to move on + find a new BF. If he happens to come back to you before you've found one, then you could consider giving it another go (as per the suggestion above, with him apologizing first, etc.) As other posters around here say, you teach people how they can treat you. If he can't bring himself to treat you with a bit more respect, then you're probably not compatible. 2
stillafool Posted May 16, 2022 Posted May 16, 2022 5 hours ago, Rayray76 said: Did I do the right thing by leaving or should I have stayed. Yes because otherwise you would have had to take the dog's place and sleep on the floor. No more room in a double bed. I think he wanted you to go home. I probably wouldn't stay at his house again after that so we wouldn't make it. 1
Author Rayray76 Posted May 17, 2022 Author Posted May 17, 2022 Thank you all for the feedback and helping me see things from a different point of view. 1 1
Ami1uwant Posted May 17, 2022 Posted May 17, 2022 1 hour ago, Rayray76 said: Thank you all for the feedback and helping me see things from a different point of view. Curious…was this the first time you tried to sleep in the same bed? Have you had sex before? Have you said anything about not wanting to have sex till much later in the relationship. he could have used the dog as a buffer to prevent something from happening. 1
chillii Posted May 17, 2022 Posted May 17, 2022 (edited) Oh Jezuz. l don't blame you. First he leaves you waiting around when you've come to his, then he comes in and orders you around as if you work for him , then he curls up with his damn dog, then he finally gives you permission to get into bed with him and the damn dog. Thank the Gods you had the sense to just go home.Let him sleep with his damn dog it doesn't matter what the situation with you two is, matter of fact let him marry the dog and you go find someone that's actually caring and into you. Edited May 17, 2022 by chillii 1
Alpacalia Posted May 17, 2022 Posted May 17, 2022 (edited) Putting this incident aside (which you did the right thing), you're pretty brave, OP. My chance of sleeping in a bed alongside a 100 lb. Cane Corso is slim. Edited May 17, 2022 by Alpacalia 2
smackie9 Posted May 17, 2022 Posted May 17, 2022 (edited) Making the bed neat for him? Girl just stop! You need to punt this guy to the curb. Don't go back, just keep driving. Peddle to the metal. Edited May 17, 2022 by smackie9 1
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