SadLadyLux Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 He was the first and only man I have ever loved. I was infatuated. He treated me like a princess, but was in fact lying to me the whole time and had another girlfriend on the side. He is now living with her. It has been 2 years since I broke up with him. I have been doing no contact for 8 months, but we work in the same building and I see him at least once a week. This morning I was walking into work and saw them holding hands and kissing on the street. I ran into the toilets and threw up. I am still shaking. I have dated other men since, but no one holds a candle to him. I know he is the wrong man for me, but I think about him night and day. I try to keep a busy life but the truth is I have been miserable ever since we broke up. The only good thing is that I have never let him see how much he has messed me up. I deserve so much better than to be living in his shadow. I can't talk to my friends about it anymore as they say I should just be over it by now. I am sick of dealing with this! Please - can anyone help me?
SadLadyLux Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Anyone? Please help me, any advice would be much appreciated.
JohnJohn Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I'd say you are doing the right things - not showing him how much he hurt you, etc. The difficult part is that you work near him and have to see him occassionally. The "outta sight outta mind" principle works better, but unless you are able to find another job then you just have to deal with it. Have faith that you will find another good man one day. Maybe not yet, but you will eventually. Don't be jealous of the fact that he is with someone else. He is probably cheating on her as well. Is there a different way you can go at work so as you decrease your chances of seeing him? Or a different time? You may not be able to avoid it altogether, but perhaps you could decrease the likelihood of running into him. Best wishes and be strong.
scobro Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Please try and look at it from a different perspective.He was with you and was cheating on you so right there tells you what type of person he is.Why also would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?.Now I also find it hard to believe no-one can measure up to this guy, it's not like he pees gold or anything super human,it's just you are infatuated with him which is necessarily love.Do not put this guy on such a high pedastal sounds like a bit of an insecure person to string two women along.Focus on how he has hurt you and not how great you think he is.What if right now you had someone who you thought was miles above this guy how would you feel then?you wouldn't think about this guy again,so just try and focus on yourself realize as much as you think this guy is the best guy on the planet he really isn't and you will soon come to grips and realize you can and will do a whole lot better.
seachange Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Oh, I'm sorry you're still hurting over him. Have you considered seeing a therapist? I'm not saying you're crazy or anything just that feeling so strongly still after all this time, even after seeing other people, suggests that maybe there's something specific you're holding onto, and it might help you to move on if you could get to the bottom of what that is. Obviously you don't feel like you had closure - but you aren't going to get it from him. I think, though, that you could find it for yourself. Also, seeing a professional would take the burden off your friends.
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