He was horrifically nasty towards me at the end.

[Weezy1973]

13 minutes ago, peach302 said:

Think what you want to think. That is how you're perceiving it.

He said quote " when are you going to take me out", "lets go for a coffee" " you pick the place" " how long can you stay out for, whats your curfew?"

I didn't bother him. IT WAS HIS IDEA TO MEET. i called a couple  of times to see whats up if hes ok. 

 

Generally a good rule of thumb is that people are their actions; not their words. If he actually wanted to meet you, you would have met him. It's easy to say things over video chat.

 

10 minutes ago, peach302 said:

I called once or twice. And let it go. 

 

People who have "let it go" don't post about "it" on relationship forums.

[Minneloa]

Just now, peach302 said:

Multiple times? The way you guys are talking its as if i was calling him twenty times a day every day for months.

The dude shows huge interest then drops back. That's his issue. Maybe its commitment issues, maybe hes a narc, maybe hes insecure. I dont know

Again, why the focus on his behavior instead of yours? It’s quite striking that you refuse to take ownership.

[peach302]

2 minutes ago, Minneloa said:

Nope. I mean that you are not willing to acknowledge that you tried to keep things going long after it was clear that they were at a complete standstill. Is this an ego thing that you have to win, now that he has cruelly rejected you? I promise you, he’s no prize.

No i dont  care anymore. 

But he obviously has problems. No I wasn't, calling someone once after months isn't  exactly that 

Edited May 14, 2022 by peach302

[Minneloa]

Just now, peach302 said:

No i dont  care anymore. 

But he obviously has problems. No I wasn't calling someone once after months isn't  exactly that 

Gently, your strong reactions in this thread suggest that you do care, and that your pride has been hurt by his rejection.

[peach302]

2 minutes ago, Minneloa said:

Gently, your strong reactions in this thread suggest that you do care, and that your pride has been hurt by his rejection.

I don't see it as a rejection. He felt like he was rejected ( whether by me or someone else) so he needed to be the one with the upper hand. 

I see him as a total plonker with serious issues.

He showed clear signals  of interest..then withdrew. Its either hes a narcissist or a commitment phobe or insecure like  i said 

Edited May 14, 2022 by peach302

[stillafool]

4 minutes ago, peach302 said:

 

The dude shows huge interest then drops back. 

Why didn't you drop back?  You can't make someone want you.  I see why he talked so harsely to you and it's because (like I said before) he wanted to make sure THIS TIME you really got the message that he doesn't want anything to do with you.  You still don't get it and will more than likely contact him again.

[Weezy1973]

2 minutes ago, peach302 said:

I see him as a total plonker with serious issues.

And if a total plonker with serious issues isn't even interested in you, then what does that make you?

[Minneloa]

2 minutes ago, peach302 said:

I don't see it as a rejection. He felt like he was rejected ( whether by me or someone else) so he needed to be the one with the upper hand. 

I see him as a total plonker with serious issues.

Then why do you push back so hard when someone suggests that you had a role in the dysfunction here? 

[peach302]

Just now, stillafool said:

Why didn't you drop back?  You can't make someone want you.  I see why he talked so harsely to you and it's because (like I said before) he wanted to make sure THIS TIME you really got the message that he doesn't want anything to do with you.  You still don't get it and will more than likely contact him again.

Omg. Whats wrong with you. 

The guy spoke to me on the phone for hours on end. Everytime. That time i reached out to him was to ask him about why he behaved the way he did showing strong interest in meeting and then flopping. Because for a whole year all this guy does as i said is accuse me of using him as a texting pen pal. Always saying the same thing again and again. 

 

[Sabrina1990]

@peach302there's always going to be strong opinions with topics such as this, but I still maintain my original opinion that he sounds conflicted. 

He sent you many mixed messages and if I've learned anything, when a man sends mixed messages, it's best to focus on the least favorable message. 

Which in this case is he doesn't appear to want a relationship with you, everything else is meaningless noise.

I'm sorry, I know you liked him, but as I said he has nothing of value to offer you and I'm glad you have decided to finally close the book on this. 

Someone better for you awaits you.