Is it time to give up?

[Littlerayofsunshine]

Hey!

So I'm having some relationship trouble at the moment. 
This is gonna be quite long so please bear with me.

I met my partner in 2018 all was good until his ex contacted him in Jan 2019. They have a kid together and she likes to start and stop contact when she pleases, anyway. So they were on the phone to each other most nights, not talking about their daughter. Although I was with him when they would be calling each other. It was pretty awkward for me especially when she started to get  comfortable enough to talk about her sex life.. so anyway he was giving her all this attention and tbh I felt like I was getting nothing so, I contacted a guy I used to speak with and we started talking (behind my bfs back) this was wrong and I know that, anyway he found out and I told him I wouldn't expect him to stay because I know I did wrong, regardless he stayed and since then I feel like I've been constantly trying to prove myself to him, almost 4 years in.. just a year ago things changed, he stopped wanting to have sex, he constantly nags at me. I put on 2 stone due to depression.Here is an example of things he has said to me.

"Everyone gets depressed you just need to get on with it"
" I work from 6am to 3pm you only work 4 hours, so why should I do housework if your in all day"
"You're not doing your part"

When I try to tell him how I feel I get
"It's all in your head"
"Your pissing me off, if you don't stop I'm just going to block you"
"It's school girl stuff"

Now I will admit I'm no angel and I have said some horrible things too. But the difference is I admit when I'm wrong.

There's times we argue and he says stuff and I'm the one who apologizes.. we argued yesterday because he went on about how I'm not doing my part, and that I'm not doing enough..

Bare this in mind tho.. I cook everyone's meals, I clean with noone else's help, I work even tjo it's 4 hours I still work, I also have a 10 year old, I decorate myself with no help from him, I help him out with money even tho I only work 4 hours, I get up at 4am to make him his coffee for work. 

So I said to him if I'm not doing my part then what are you doing.. his response is

"I buy the shopping at the end of the month"

Which your lucky if its £100, he then spends 400/500 on weed and almost 60 on fags. Habits that I do not have! Then he complains he's got no money because its spent on myself and my child which is Bullshit, I had to buy his nieces bday stuff which came to around £50 not one penny from him. Almost every month I was spending 250 on fuel for his car that I'm barely even in!!! 

He thinks he has it hard, like I say I'm no angel and I am trying so hard to make this work but I'm getting to that stage where I think it's not even worth it. How dare he make me feel as though I am not good enough. I made a mistake one I regret every single day and he never let's me forget it. 

I can feel inside that I'm truly done I just want other people's opinions. 

Sorry for the rant

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening. You seem incompatible. Stop playing maid. You and your child's father are responsible financially for your child. He and his child's mother are responsible for their child.

Whose place is it? Do you co-own? Co-lease or is it his or your place. 

As soon as possible, stop living together. You're at each other's throats about everything from who pays for what who does more for whom, etc. This is not a good environment for your child.

You're incompatible so you'll have to focus on severing finances and cease living together.

Edited May 12, 2022 by Wiseman2

[glows]

Don't argue and keep apologizing. Change the situation if it's not working for you and let your actions speak for themselves. You're part of the reason why this is so dysfunctional. Break that cycle of being in these types of relationships and change.

The issue is he's not the man for you and you're staying for some reason. It seems you're caring for him like he's your child and nagging like he's one of your children. I'm not sure why you would want your child exposed to someone who does weed and smokes like a chimney.