Horses634 Posted May 10, 2022 Posted May 10, 2022 I have been talking to this guy for about a month and a half now and we have met up four times so far. Last week he came to see me two days in a row even though he has been really busy and also because weren't able to see each other for the two weeks prior due to me also being busy. He has not reached out or contacted me since then and I am bit surprised by this as he was talking about meeting up together again and suggested we should go clubbing together the last time he came. He usually makes some form of contact whether that be a direct message or just some random pictures in the form of Snapchats. I thought maybe he has lost interest or changed his mind which I find confusing just because he talked about meeting up with me again last time. Some of my friends suggested that maybe he is waiting for me to reach out to him but I thought when it comes to the dating phase guys should be reaching out the majority of the time otherwise the girl is chasing him. I understand if he was putting effort in and I wasn't reciprocating but this is not the case especially because I probably reached out to him first at least two times in the period we have been talking. I would like to hear your guys take on this situation and your opinions on texting boys first in the early stages of dating. I am thinking I am going to reach out to him in a few days because I am really interested in him and I have honestly been missing him a lot this past week but if you guys don't think it is worth it then I will definitely consider not doing it.
stillafool Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 Well he did come to see you twice last week so yes go ahead and let him know you would like to see him.
chillii Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 Op , so in 6 wks , you've only contacted him first, twice.? And he came to see you two days even though he was really busy. No idea if he's lost interest there's not enough to go on , but he is probably sick to death of chasing you up though. 2
basil67 Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 Lift your game and start reciprocating. Or else, accept that your lack of initiative will see you lose this guy. For what it's worth, "chasing" is where you contact him far more than he contacts you. You're nowhere near chasing. 1
Ami1uwant Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 He seems to be making efforts to see you. he’s looking fir something from you. Maybe after seeing you he got mixed messages from you on interest level. you need to initiate some plans on meeting up again, you need to show you have some interest. I’ve done this with peop,e I saw where if it felt u was the one initiating dates and such I’d want to see her doing something like that instead of it just being— I’ll go do something if you invite me but if I don’t hear from you it doesn't matter. It’s screams illdate you fir free things.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 You have been seeing him a month and a half and have only initiated twice? Girl. You need to step it up. There is a difference between chasing a guy who is not interested, and showing some initiative with one who is. You're going to shoot yourself in the foot here if you don't take some action. 2
Alpacalia Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 What's holding you back? Did you have a bad date last time? After dating someone for almost two months, you only contacted him twice. I'm sure he'd like to hear from you. 1
Wiseman2 Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 8 hours ago, Horses634 said: I have been talking to this guy for about a month and a half now and we have met up four times. missing him a lot this past week Ok. After 4 dates you're both still talking to and meeting others. If he ghosted you could try reaching out, but it's possible he lost interest. Texting for 6 weeks and only 4 dates indicates there's minimal interest. 1
smackie9 Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 Girl it's not the 1950's....you reciprocate equally. Chasing is when they don't respond back and you keep messaging them in a panic.
dramafreezone Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 (edited) 15 hours ago, Horses634 said: I have been talking to this guy for about a month and a half now and we have met up four times so far. Last week he came to see me two days in a row even though he has been really busy and also because weren't able to see each other for the two weeks prior due to me also being busy. He has not reached out or contacted me since then and I am bit surprised by this as he was talking about meeting up together again and suggested we should go clubbing together the last time he came. He usually makes some form of contact whether that be a direct message or just some random pictures in the form of Snapchats. I thought maybe he has lost interest or changed his mind which I find confusing just because he talked about meeting up with me again last time. Some of my friends suggested that maybe he is waiting for me to reach out to him but I thought when it comes to the dating phase guys should be reaching out the majority of the time otherwise the girl is chasing him. I understand if he was putting effort in and I wasn't reciprocating but this is not the case especially because I probably reached out to him first at least two times in the period we have been talking. I would like to hear your guys take on this situation and your opinions on texting boys first in the early stages of dating. I am thinking I am going to reach out to him in a few days because I am really interested in him and I have honestly been missing him a lot this past week but if you guys don't think it is worth it then I will definitely consider not doing it. If you want to hear from him text him, don't overthink this. Guys like for the woman to show interest too. Sure guys have to initiate from the beginning but at some point it should shift to at least 50/50. I would assume that you have lukewarm interest. Edited May 11, 2022 by dramafreezone 1
glows Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 15 hours ago, Horses634 said: I am thinking I am going to reach out to him in a few days because I am really interested in him and I have honestly been missing him a lot this past week but if you guys don't think it is worth it then I will definitely consider not doing it. You can send him a brief message and ask how he's doing. Try not to overthink this. You're both enjoying each others' company and there were tentative plans to meet again so say hello and check in with him.
Lauriebell82 Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 (edited) I think chasing after a guy is when you keep texting/calling him and he is (very obviously) not responding to you. But that doesn't seem to be happening here...you are hesitant to text him out of fear that you will come off as needy perhaps or not be able to properly gauge his interest level. I totally feel that and can relate! It's hard to find a proper balance and I tend to be old fashioned in the beginning of dating, wanting a man to take the initiate more often. I for one, don't want to be responsible for getting a relationship off the ground that really wasn't supposed to get off the ground. Nor do I want to make a guy lazy and set the stage for him to think I'm going to do all the work. It should be reciprocal. At this point, I'd start texting him a little more. Especially if you are going days without talking. But try to match his play..if you sense he isn't responding in a timely manner or can't keep up then give him some space until he reaches out to you so you aren't chasing him. Kind of like mirroring him a little bit. That way you will know it's reciprocal and you aren't texting too much/too little. If the gaps in contact continue, it might be that he is dating others, or just maybe not as much into getting into an exclusive relationship as you would hope. And that's something to seriously consider if that's what you are looking for! Edited May 11, 2022 by Lauriebell82 1
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