Wiseman2 Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 After a couple of messages, suggest meeting at a mutually convenient time day and place for a brief coffee. Skip anything that involves giving anyone directions. If in doubt, let them suggest a place they're familiar with.
dramafreezone Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 10 hours ago, Alvi said: But if she is the only one who initiates every single one of their interactions, she may give up at some point. Attraction is a two way street. It is not going to survive for long if she is the only one who puts a 100% of the effort. There is only so much enthusiasm that you can show. You might as well give up if you don't see it being reciprocated. Maybe she figured out that the OP is not that into her since he never initiated any texting or phone calls. And instead of simply asking her out again, he broke off with her. Who knows, maybe she is the one who thought that he ghosted her when she didn't hear anything from him for 4 whole days. And as they say, there is a plenty of fish out there. Who would she choose. A passive guy that she feels that she has to chase or the guy who is doing all the chasing himself? If she's willing to give up after a couple of weeks then again, she didn't like him that much. I agree with the very last sentence you said, she figured why go through all of this when things are not going exactly the way I want them to. That works both ways though. If he had to do every single thing right to have a chance with this woman, then he's better off looking for someone that's more interested, IMO, someone who he doesn't have to do everything perfectly, because most guys will mess up. OP, I think this woman was barely interested and lost interest. Which reason turned her off? You'll never know because when someone is barely into you, anything could turn them off. Your left shoelace could be longer than the right and that could be enough to turn her off. In any event, you don't want someone that's on the fence about you, you want someone that wil jump fences to be with you, and that isn't this woman.
Author MIAho Posted May 11, 2022 Author Posted May 11, 2022 (edited) 11 hours ago, Alvi said: But if she is the only one who initiates every single one of their interactions, she may give up at some point. Attraction is a two way street. It is not going to survive for long if she is the only one who puts a 100% of the effort. There is only so much enthusiasm that you can show. You might as well give up if you don't see it being reciprocated. Maybe she figured out that the OP is not that into her since he never initiated any texting or phone calls. And instead of simply asking her out again, he broke off with her. Who knows, maybe she is the one who thought that he ghosted her when she didn't hear anything from him for 4 whole days. And as they say, there is a plenty of fish out there. Who would she choose. A passive guy that she feels that she has to chase or the guy who is doing all the chasing himself? OP, you are asking what you could've done differently. Well, this is what. Next time when you like someone, act interested. Don't just sit back and expect the other person do all the work. I am not talking about a love bombing, but do initiate texting and phone calls first. Arrange a date. And by a date I mean arrange day, time and place. Let the other person know that you are interested in pursuing things with her. Be proactive. There is no guarantees that the interest is going to be reciprocated, but hey, at least nobody is going to blame you for the lack of trying. I initiated contact with her plenty of times I doubt that was the issue. I was the one who set the date, even though I kind of felt restrained by her conditions for an outdoor date. I also wasn't thrilled about the long gap between the first and second date. Plus, she still seemed to be too hung up on her ex, who she mentioned numerous times. Would I have liked to have continued seeing her? Yes, she seemed nice but I felt that she was more guilty of self-sabotaging the potential we had than anything I did. The text to end it is I feel a mixed bag. Could she have come around again? Maybe. I based my decision to end it on her actions towards the end of the 2nd date and afterwards and my own past experiences where I did ask the woman out only to get rejected. As crazy as all that sounds, I do wish that I didn't text her to end it and wish that I could ask her out again. There aren't any do Overs in dating Edited May 11, 2022 by MIAho Add
dramafreezone Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 (edited) 12 minutes ago, MIAho said: I initiated contact with her plenty of times I doubt that was the issue. I was the one who set the date, even though I kind of felt restrained by her conditions for an outdoor date. I also wasn't thrilled about the long gap between the first and second date. Plus, she still seemed to be too hung up on her ex, who she mentioned numerous times. Would I have liked to have continued seeing her? Yes, she seemed nice but I felt that she was more guilty of self-sabotaging the potential we had than anything I did. The text to end it is I feel a mixed bag. Could she have come around again? Maybe. I based my decision to end it on her actions towards the end of the 2nd date and afterwards and my own past experiences where I did ask the woman out only to get rejected. As crazy as all that sounds, I do wish that I didn't text her to end it and wish that I could ask her out again. Well you left out this major detail. No one that is into you is going to be mentioning their ex on the date so many times. She's not over him. She's not suitable for dating right now. But texting her to end it was still a huge mistake. People get over exes eventually and then you might have had more of a chance, but the text ruined that possibility. It's over now, just move on. Next time someone drops off the grid don't assume it has to do with you. I've had women message me after 6 months of dropping off the grid and we started dating. It happens. Edited May 11, 2022 by dramafreezone 2
glows Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, MIAho said: I initiated contact with her plenty of times I doubt that was the issue. I was the one who set the date, even though I kind of felt restrained by her conditions for an outdoor date. I also wasn't thrilled about the long gap between the first and second date. Plus, she still seemed to be too hung up on her ex, who she mentioned numerous times. Would I have liked to have continued seeing her? Yes, she seemed nice but I felt that she was more guilty of self-sabotaging the potential we had than anything I did. The text to end it is I feel a mixed bag. Could she have come around again? Maybe. I based my decision to end it on her actions towards the end of the 2nd date and afterwards and my own past experiences where I did ask the woman out only to get rejected. As crazy as all that sounds, I do wish that I didn't text her to end it and wish that I could ask her out again. There aren't any do Overs in dating No. If you sense someone is distracted or not able to live in the moment, in the present, don't linger. This is wasted time and effort in the long run. When someone is in pain they may not realize what they're saying or the impression they're giving someone else and it's very likely she's not aware how often she's mentioning her ex. You however noticed and this is your cue to excuse yourself. You did the right thing ending it. Try not to double back and second guess yourself. Be more confident in your decisions and move forward from this. Date individuals who are present in the moment with no ex hang ups. Edited May 11, 2022 by glows 1
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