poppyfields Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 (edited) 16 hours ago, babybrowns said: I responded that either food or drinks is fine with me, that I can stay for a couple of hours or so and that it’s up to him what he’d like to do, that either option is fine with me. He said, “ok let’s just do drinks then?” BB, I'm gonna cut you some slack here, you said you were fine with both, and HE decided drinks only. Given you prefer to follow a man's lead in early stages, which is OK, many women prefer that, you left the final decision to him and drinks only is what he chose. Now it's up to you to accept or reject, you are allowed to change your mind if you feel it's not in your best interests. Edited May 9, 2022 by poppyfields
Alpacalia Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 I retract my previous statement. Is this going to be in the evening? Are you going to feel comfortable driving for 1.5 hours late at night after having had a few drinks? Do you believe you could survive that drive? As well as this, this man is a a first meet, who you would be walking in a park late at night with, while you are having drinks with. 2
glows Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 It's doubtful she'd have time to walk in the park as was suggested in her first post due to time constraints. The OP again would be able to clarify. I don't see this as anything more than a first meet of two people who are free and available at that day and time. Whether the distance is too far is also up to her to decide. What she eats or drinks is up to her. I tend to think most people work within their limits and aren't generally stumbling drunk or landing in someone's bed the night of a first meet up. I agree with what Introverted mentioned if this is about testing or creating issues. If you are confident with yourself, OP, there are no issues. Go or don't go, up to you. 2
Alpacalia Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 (edited) Agree glows. I was just saying not to put oneself in a situation where there could be more than one outcome. It's just a matter of keeping an eye on all the variables, that's all. Edited May 9, 2022 by Alpacalia
poppyfields Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 BB, it's absolutely up to you what you want to eat or drink but since he suggested drinks only, wouldn't blame ya for feeling awkward ordering food not to mention who enjoys eating alone since he will only be ordering drinks? I also think you're smart to be questioning these things including his suggestion to take a walk in park after sundown. This man is a stranger to you, you should definitely be questioning these things imo. Again up to you whether to go or not. Good luck whatever you decide and keep us posted.
Wiseman2 Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 1 minute ago, NuevoYorko said: I'd like to suggest a re-set: "Let's pick a place to meet halfway between where we live, on the weekend." Agree. This is a great idea. Reschedule on the weekend and meet halfway. 1
Alpacalia Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 Yes. Agree too! First dates where there was a bit of distance for me, we agreed to meet halfway, but there is no reason that you can't make that suggestion yourself @babybrowns. 1
Kamille Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 I'm not faulting him or her. This is two people making plans to meet for the first time. He suggested something, she said she didn't have much time, he proposed something else but said he was open to keeping the dinner plan if she preferred. As to the walk in the park, again, it is up to her to speak up if she doesn't feel safe, say if this isn't a well frequented public city park. Nothing here speaks of him having malicious intent. BB, I hadn't realized who you were from previous threads until now. I believe that my advice stands more now than it did before. If you're not comfortable with something, speak up. Don't try to imagine what he is thinking, don't read into his actions. Stand up for yourself and what you want. 3
glows Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 41 minutes ago, Kamille said: Nothing here speaks of him having malicious intent. BB, I hadn't realized who you were from previous threads until now. I believe that my advice stands more now than it did before. If you're not comfortable with something, speak up. Don't try to imagine what he is thinking, don't read into his actions. Stand up for yourself and what you want. A very good point and I agree. Be more direct and confident in your choices. 1
Lisa Posted May 10, 2022 Senior Moderators Posted May 10, 2022 Thread has had a clean up to remove debating and some off topic content.
JRabbit Posted May 11, 2022 Posted May 11, 2022 If you wanted dinner OP why not just say that when you asked him? You asked his preference, he answered. You're mad he was honest? Drinks vs dinner makes no difference in his interest in you. Personally I hate dinner for a date, some people have issues with food and dinner can be awkward or awful.
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