nc87whf Posted May 8, 2022 Posted May 8, 2022 Hi, I recently went on a few dates with a guy who uses medical marijuana daily for chronic pain and also psychedelics occasionally for depression and recreation. He also uses small doses of opioid for sleep as his chronic pain is very bad and basically he cannot sleep most of the time. He said he has not been addicted to any drugs and he can control himself well. When he does psychedelics, he always asked his close friend to watch out for him. A lot of his goals are aligned with me and it seems like his lifestyle with the exception of substance use is aligned with me as well. I also feel very much at ease with him and find him very interesting. I have never had any experience with substance use myself and never dated anyone like that. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. That's why I want to hear from people who have experience with this. I know I am the only person who can decide on whether or not I'm okay with this, but I feel like I really know too little about this "world". My main concern is - will he experience any problematic behavior due to his substance use?
Wiseman2 Posted May 8, 2022 Posted May 8, 2022 17 minutes ago, nc87whf said: I have never had any experience with substance use myself and never dated anyone like that How long have you dated? How old is he? If you do not use drugs, then you are incompatible. Save yourself a lot of headaches and heartaches and cut your losses. Volunteer in a nursing home if you want to know what's it's like dealing with and talking to people with impaired brain functioning. What kind of "dates" will this be? You drive? He cancels because he had a bad trip? You pay because he spends a lot of money destroying his physical and mental health? 1
smackie9 Posted May 8, 2022 Posted May 8, 2022 (edited) This guy is totally misleading you on his actual use, especially when they tell you that they have complete control when they get high......he's full of it. People with drug/alcohol addiction, mental health issues lie/downplay it. Don't even go there. I myself years ago lived that lifestyle as a teenager, young adult. I know how this crap plays out. Edited May 8, 2022 by smackie9 4
Versacehottie Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 This guy sounds like he's falling apart Honestly, why would you want to go there? What's worse is if he's young guy, using all these excuses as a reason to use drugs and downplay it all. I would be out the door so fast. Have not personally had this sort of problem with a boyfriend, but wouldn't tolerate it and let him bring you down. Sounds ALREADY like he will always love drugs more than you, which is a bad investment for you. 3
Alpacalia Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 Several of these medications people find helpful for certain conditions, so I am not disparaging people who take them. The emphasis here is that there are a high number of drugs entering his system throughout the day. These drugs are high risk for misuse, and they're also possible to cause cognitive impairment, so they're prone to addiction. 2
Woggle Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 I was married to somebody who became a serious addict and I would never do it again but I do believe there is a difference between that and somebody who does it occasionally on their own time and can still function. It is no different than somebody who enjoys the occasional beer or glass of wine. I don't know this men so I can't make a judgement and which group he falls into. 1
Ami1uwant Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 6 hours ago, nc87whf said: Hi, I recently went on a few dates with a guy who uses medical marijuana daily for chronic pain and also psychedelics occasionally for depression and recreation. He also uses small doses of opioid for sleep as his chronic pain is very bad and basically he cannot sleep most of the time. He said he has not been addicted to any drugs and he can control himself well. When he does psychedelics, he always asked his close friend to watch out for him. A lot of his goals are aligned with me and it seems like his lifestyle with the exception of substance use is aligned with me as well. I also feel very much at ease with him and find him very interesting. I have never had any experience with substance use myself and never dated anyone like that. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. That's why I want to hear from people who have experience with this. I know I am the only person who can decide on whether or not I'm okay with this, but I feel like I really know too little about this "world". My main concern is - will he experience any problematic behavior due to his substance use? this appears to be medical…not recreational. There is a fundamental difference. You need to separate these things. chronic pain is a problem to treat. Marijuana is something that works for it. How is this different than if he took a daily medication? using psychodelics do not treat depression. There are proven medication to treat this. He should do everythingto get off opiates. does he see any doctors for his medical conditions? If not then I woukd question the legitimacy of his medical claims. you have to ask yourself if it’s worth compromising for or not?
ExpatInItaly Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 9 hours ago, nc87whf said: He also uses small doses of opioid for sleep as his chronic pain is very bad Did he mention whether this is prescribed to him by his doctor?
Author nc87whf Posted May 9, 2022 Author Posted May 9, 2022 5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Did he mention whether this is prescribed to him by his doctor? According to him, yes. I don't believe you can get opioid without a prescription? The marijuana is not - it is legal in the state that he and I live in so you can get it anywhere. 1 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 4 minutes ago, nc87whf said: According to him, yes. I don't believe you can get opioid without a prescription? The marijuana is not - it is legal in the state that he and I live in so you can get it anywhere. You can buy it on the street quite easily in many areas. Hence my question. 1
Author nc87whf Posted May 9, 2022 Author Posted May 9, 2022 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: You can buy it on the street quite easily in many areas. Hence my question. Ah, my lack of knowledge of substance again shows. I asked him specifically before and he said yes - is it true? That I will find out.
Wiseman2 Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 23 minutes ago, nc87whf said: . I don't believe you can get opioid without a prescription? It doesn't matter if it's prescribed or bought on the street. You're not compatible if you are not into tripping and babysitting a drug user, etc.
Wiseman2 Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, nc87whf said: I asked him specifically before and he said yes - is it true? That I will find out. Prescription vs. street or OTC are legal categories. It simply means the drugs were obtained legally or not. The brain physiology and it's reaction does not care. It's the same. That is the important thing to know. In fact much of the opioid epidemic is from legally obtained prescriptions. Cut your losses. If you don't do drugs, don't date people who do. Edited May 9, 2022 by Wiseman2 1
Alpacalia Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, nc87whf said: That I will find out. Who are you going to find out from? He has depression, no? The combination of marijuana and opiates exacerbates mental health issues, while drug abuse exacerbates mental health problems. It is cyclical. It may be difficult to determine whether there is more at play unless he admits truthfully to his experience with substances. How are you going to determine whether there is more at play? Are you okay with dating someone with a substance abuse problem? Edited May 9, 2022 by Alpacalia
Versacehottie Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 idk, here's another question....do you really want to be with someone that has to live so much of his life in an altered state to get by? And it sounds like he's barely getting by.... 3
glows Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 16 hours ago, nc87whf said: Hi, I recently went on a few dates with a guy who uses medical marijuana daily for chronic pain and also psychedelics occasionally for depression and recreation. He also uses small doses of opioid for sleep as his chronic pain is very bad and basically he cannot sleep most of the time. He said he has not been addicted to any drugs and he can control himself well. When he does psychedelics, he always asked his close friend to watch out for him. A lot of his goals are aligned with me and it seems like his lifestyle with the exception of substance use is aligned with me as well. I also feel very much at ease with him and find him very interesting. I have never had any experience with substance use myself and never dated anyone like that. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. That's why I want to hear from people who have experience with this. I know I am the only person who can decide on whether or not I'm okay with this, but I feel like I really know too little about this "world". My main concern is - will he experience any problematic behavior due to his substance use? Has he tried conventional treatment with his healthcare practioners? If he's self-medicating or there is no way to alleviate his chronic pain other than taking opioids dating is iffy and controversial. You would know in an instant whether he and you are compatible or will be able to lead a fulfilling lives together if he can't sleep and is in chronic pain. While I think it's good of you to keep an open mind, when considering dating someone think about your compatibility in terms of your lifestyles together. It may be that he seems interesting now but not when you realize you feel held back or aren't going about other various aspects of your life because you're worried about him. I say this is controversial because you're right - this is eventually your choice. If you are in doubt or feel uneasy about anything, don't proceed. 1
introverted1 Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 18 hours ago, nc87whf said: I recently went on a few dates with a guy who uses medical marijuana daily for chronic pain and also psychedelics occasionally for depression and recreation. He also uses small doses of opioid for sleep as his chronic pain is very bad and basically he cannot sleep most of the time. He said he has not been addicted to any drugs and he can control himself well. When he does psychedelics, he always asked his close friend to watch out for him. None of this sounds great to me, but the one that is especially worrying is the opioid use. Tolerance/resistance is a given and, over time, he will need larger and larger doses in order to get the same benefit. Odds are that he is already addicted -- physical addiction typically sets in after about 2 weeks, although it can happen sooner. It's unlikely that he can stop without going through withdrawal and even more likely he'd start up again. 18 hours ago, nc87whf said: My main concern is - will he experience any problematic behavior due to his substance use? What do you define as "problematic"? Does he have a job? Children? Are you prepared to put up with the side effects of long-term opioid use? 2
vla1120 Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 18 hours ago, nc87whf said: Hi, I recently went on a few dates with a guy who uses medical marijuana daily for chronic pain and also psychedelics occasionally for depression and recreation. He also uses small doses of opioid for sleep as his chronic pain is very bad and basically he cannot sleep most of the time. He said he has not been addicted to any drugs and he can control himself well. When he does psychedelics, he always asked his close friend to watch out for him. A lot of his goals are aligned with me and it seems like his lifestyle with the exception of substance use is aligned with me as well. I also feel very much at ease with him and find him very interesting. I have never had any experience with substance use myself and never dated anyone like that. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. That's why I want to hear from people who have experience with this. I know I am the only person who can decide on whether or not I'm okay with this, but I feel like I really know too little about this "world". My main concern is - will he experience any problematic behavior due to his substance use? In my experience, I would think the medical marijuana would meet all his needs. Does his doctor know he uses all of these medications together? He shouldn't need to use ANYTHING for recreation, given that he is prescribed plenty of mind-altering medications. Considering that over prescribing of opioids for pain has directly led to our nation's trouble with opioid addiction, I believe there is a very high probability of him becoming addicted, if he is not already. Be prepared to make a life long committment to deal with the highs and lows of drug addiction.
Wiseman2 Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 18 hours ago, nc87whf said: I recently went on a few dates with a guy who uses medical marijuana daily for chronic pain and also psychedelics occasionally for depression and recreation. He also uses small doses of opioid for sleep as his chronic pain is very bad and basically he cannot sleep most of the time. A lot of his goals are aligned with me and it seems like his lifestyle with the exception of substance use is aligned with me as well. I also feel very much at ease with him and find him very interesting. It's as simple as you're not compatible. You lead a healthy life and uses a mixed bag of several drugs. Keep in mind, dating is not social work. It's to find someone whose lifestyle is compatible with yours. 1
dramafreezone Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 (edited) 19 hours ago, nc87whf said: Hi, I recently went on a few dates with a guy who uses medical marijuana daily for chronic pain and also psychedelics occasionally for depression and recreation. He also uses small doses of opioid for sleep as his chronic pain is very bad and basically he cannot sleep most of the time. He said he has not been addicted to any drugs and he can control himself well. When he does psychedelics, he always asked his close friend to watch out for him. A lot of his goals are aligned with me and it seems like his lifestyle with the exception of substance use is aligned with me as well. I also feel very much at ease with him and find him very interesting. I have never had any experience with substance use myself and never dated anyone like that. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. That's why I want to hear from people who have experience with this. I know I am the only person who can decide on whether or not I'm okay with this, but I feel like I really know too little about this "world". My main concern is - will he experience any problematic behavior due to his substance use? I think a couple of things. One there is still a very strong stigma about "substance use." In the context of treating a chronic condition, it's not substance use, it's medical treatment. What is his chronic pain due to? Was he in a bad vehicle accident or something like that? How long has he been using these products? People are frequently automatically labeled a junkie or addict if they use any illicit substance for any reason and I don't think that's fair, and this is coming from someone that has never used a drug in their life. I think that we don't know the type of pain a person is feeling if we haven't been in their shoes so I would resist the urge to judge him as long as he is functional and uses these products responsibly. Ultimately you just have to observe. I would proceed with caution, and make your own judgments based on what you see. Edited May 9, 2022 by dramafreezone
Author nc87whf Posted May 9, 2022 Author Posted May 9, 2022 4 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: I think a couple of things. One there is still a very strong stigma about "substance use." In the context of treating a chronic condition, it's not substance use, it's medical treatment. What is his chronic pain due to? Was he in a bad vehicle accident or something like that? How long has he been using these products? People are frequently automatically labeled a junkie or addict if they use any illicit substance for any reason and I don't think that's fair, and this is coming from someone that has never used a drug in their life. I think that we don't know the type of pain a person is feeling if we haven't been in their shoes so I would resist the urge to judge him as long as he is functional and uses these products responsibly. Ultimately you just have to observe and make the judgement for yourself as to if this is something you can deal with. I agree. Yes it's due to very bad vehicle accidents and which is why I'm sympathetic and I happened to be a chronic pain sufferer myself but my pain is manageable without anything. I consider myself lucky. He seems to be using them responsibly and is functioning well, but I also agree with a lot of people here that this is going to be always in the back of my head and we aren't compatible in this area. Not to mention one of the "substances" he uses has high chances of developing tolerance and abuse and with age in the future, this might get worse. Thanks for your insight! And thank you for everyone else's insights above - they are very helpful. 1 1
Alpacalia Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 Yes, there is an issue when someone is constantly worried about his safety while doing psychedelic drugs, and needs to rely on a close friend to keep an eye on him. 3
glows Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 12 minutes ago, nc87whf said: I agree. Yes it's due to very bad vehicle accidents and which is why I'm sympathetic and I happened to be a chronic pain sufferer myself but my pain is manageable without anything. I consider myself lucky. He seems to be using them responsibly and is functioning well, but I also agree with a lot of people here that this is going to be always in the back of my head and we aren't compatible in this area. Not to mention one of the "substances" he uses has high chances of developing tolerance and abuse and with age in the future, this might get worse. Thanks for your insight! And thank you for everyone else's insights above - they are very helpful. I'm sorry to hear this. Chronic pain can also be debilitatingly depressing and severely affect mental health. I empathize with the both of you. It sounds like you are empathetic but know that you're both not compatible based on your circumstances. For yourself, try to lean on other support systems to manage your chronic pain and look to someone more on your wavelength. His use of opioids as well for recreational use may be taking it too far.
Ami1uwant Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 38 minutes ago, nc87whf said: I agree. Yes it's due to very bad vehicle accidents and which is why I'm sympathetic and I happened to be a chronic pain sufferer myself but my pain is manageable without anything. I consider myself lucky. He seems to be using them responsibly and is functioning well, but I also agree with a lot of people here that this is going to be always in the back of my head and we aren't compatible in this area. Not to mention one of the "substances" he uses has high chances of developing tolerance and abuse and with age in the future, this might get worse. Thanks for your insight! And thank you for everyone else's insights above - they are very helpful. Medicinal pot does not have the same addiction effects when it’s being used for chronic pain or epilepsy
Alpacalia Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 (edited) 54 minutes ago, nc87whf said: I agree. Yes it's due to very bad vehicle accidents and which is why I'm sympathetic and I happened to be a chronic pain sufferer myself but my pain is manageable without anything. I consider myself lucky. He seems to be using them responsibly and is functioning well, but I also agree with a lot of people here that this is going to be always in the back of my head and we aren't compatible in this area. Not to mention one of the "substances" he uses has high chances of developing tolerance and abuse and with age in the future, this might get worse. Thanks for your insight! And thank you for everyone else's insights above - they are very helpful. There's something wonderful about how empathetic you are, especially since chronic pain affects you in almost every day life. Who's to say you wouldn't get swept into having to watch over him when he took psychedelic drugs? Would you choose that lifestyle for yourself on top of managing your chronic pain? Or that there's a potential risk that you will soon be doing it also? Whatever you decide, appreciate his honesty as much as you can. Whether he has problems with drugs or not, you’ll always have to make changes and compromises when you start dating someone. Just try not to equate seeing the potential in others with falling in love with his reality before you fully understand it. Edited May 9, 2022 by Alpacalia 1
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