What's his deal ?

[Emma7897]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Re bolded, I've had guys intentionally mess with my head (or try to) like your guy is clearly doing, and I recall one guy saying it was an expression of endearment. 

You're right, if he didn't like you, he wouldn't bother, he'd be indifferent. 

That said his method of expressing his like for you is NOT healthy, normal or indicative of a well balanced person. 

He may like you and likes to mess with you but be clear Emma, he does not want a relationship with you, he may have a fear of commitment, be a "player" or any number of other issues that prevent him from acting like a 'normal' human being. 

My advice?  Do not allow him to mess with you, either block him, delete him or ignore him, or all three. 

I would NOT react in any way shape or form as that is most likely what he's aiming for - an emotional reaction.  It's an ego boost when you react. 

Don't.  Simply ignore him, nothing good or positive will ever become of this sick little  game he's playing, trust me on that!  

Yes I wasn’t interested in him to begin with. I grew to like him , until I went on the date with in which we both didn’t communicate with each other after. It’s not like I went and asked why he left early I left it alone and didn’t contact him after. He’s the one that keeps adding me even after being removed. You don’t see me adding him back to back because I’m not interested!

[Wiseman2]

Focus on your BF. Just keep deleting and blocking him.

[Emma7897]

1 hour ago, Alpacalia said:

Well, maybe you can kind of get off on the fact he sees how fabulous your life is today -- hell, it is probably even better than it was before he was in it.

This is the kind of satisfaction we sign up for and should expect in the world of modern dating, isn't it? Trying to forget that guy, but he's not forgetting us?

Or, maybe you're reading way too much into all of this.

I guess I'm just wondering why he hasn't stopped following you. Is it just the fact that he thinks you're hot? Or is there more to it?

Who knows. 

I’m not reading to much into it, because this isn’t a one time thing if it was I wouldn’t be on this site asking I would just go on about my life. Yet it’s happened at least 5 times even though I’ve blocked and removed him. I just wanted some opinions on why he’s doing this. Thanks so much for all y’all’s advice.

[Emma7897]

14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Focus on your BF. Just keep deleting and blocking him.

I don’t have one 

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

I don’t have one 

Ok. That needs to be your focus along with school/working.

Join some clubs and groups, volunteer, get involved in sports, fitness and better health. Take some classes and courses . Make friends and meet men.

 Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting interested decent men in person.

This way, after you block this guy, your life will be full and happy and pondering this guys weird activities won't interest you.

[Emma7897]

34 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok. That needs to be your focus along with school/working.

Join some clubs and groups, volunteer, get involved in sports, fitness and better health. Take some classes and courses . Make friends and meet men.

 Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting interested decent men in person.

This way, after you block this guy, your life will be full and happy and pondering this guys weird activities won't interest you.

That’s not the problem!I have a active social and dating life, so I’m fine in that department. Thanks though 

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, Emma7897 said:

I just wanted some opinions on why he’s doing this. 

He's messing with you, that's all it is.  Why? Who knows, who cares.  

He could be bored, which is my best guess. Wants to stir up some drama and get your wheels spinning.  An ego boost. 

Emma, try and let this * roll off.   I have been messed with so many times, I've lost count. 

Let it go!  Best advice I ever got. 

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Emma7897 said:

I’m not reading to much into it, because this isn’t a one time thing if it was I wouldn’t be on this site asking I would just go on about my life. Yet it’s happened at least 5 times even though I’ve blocked and removed him. I just wanted some opinions on why he’s doing this. Thanks so much for all y’all’s advice.

Emma7897, like we said, we can't get inside his head.

If I had to guess it's because he's playing games.

More importantly, aren't you concerned that he keeps doing this?

That it's infringing on your privacy at this juncture?

[Emma7897]

3 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Emma7897, like we said, we can't get inside his head.

If I had to guess it's because he's playing games.

More importantly, aren't you concerned that he keeps doing this?

That it's infringing on your privacy at this juncture?

Yes this my forth time blocking him 

[glows]

9 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

I’m not interested!

That's great. Just ignore him then while reporting the messages as harassment/bullying or whatever it falls under when you get him banned from the site. Eventually he'll either get a warning or will get banned. It's not your problem and unlikely you're the only person he's doing this to.

[ExpatInItaly]

He sounds annoying and boring. 

I would ignore it completely. 

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

I have a active social and dating life, 

Ok then are you flattered by this? Because if you are dating and happy, this would be nothing to concern yourself about.

Just like getting spam and other undesirable attempts at contact. Manage your online presence and reset privacy settings.

Especially review who can view your content. Make sure you are not overexposed on social media. That often attracts spam and trolling like this.

[Emma7897]

I posted something on my story and he viewed it 30sec after I posted it. 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 minute ago, Emma7897 said:

I posted something on my story and he viewed it 30sec after I posted it. 

Wasn't he blocked? 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

I posted something on my story and he viewed it 30sec after I posted it. 

So you want the contact and attention? Just ask him to go for coffee.

[Alpacalia]

7 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

Yes this my forth time blocking him 

2 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

I posted something on my story and he viewed it 30sec after I posted it. 

Is this what you want to do with your time? You delete someone and then re-add him but he just sits there like a toad? If someone you went on one date with keeps creating multiple accounts and adding the same person over and over, it's weird.

 

[stillafool]

On 5/8/2022 at 4:28 AM, Emma7897 said:

Yes this is a person that chased me for years before I considered  giving him a date. We went on 1 date several months ago in which ended in him leaving early and us ghosting each other after are first date. Every month he does this, I’ll delete him  and he still does it? 

Can you block him?

[stillafool]

16 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

Yes I wasn’t interested in him to begin with. I grew to like him , until I went on the date with in which we both didn’t communicate with each other after. It’s not like I went and asked why he left early I left it alone and didn’t contact him after. He’s the one that keeps adding me even after being removed. You don’t see me adding him back to back because I’m not interested!

But you are interested in him enough to come to a forum and start a thread about him.  If you didn't care you would be indifferent and continue to block and delete.

[poppyfields]

21 minutes ago, stillafool said:

But you are interested in him enough to come to a forum and start a thread about him.  If you didn't care you would be indifferent and continue to block and delete.

Agree, which is true for HIM as well.  HE wouldn't be doing what he's doing either. 

Like attracts like, there IS something happening here on both sides. You and him.   People who don't care simply do NOT behave this way. 

Question now is, what are YOU gonna do about it?

Continue creating threads and playing guessing games?  Or confront the situation like a grown up?

None of this is healthy or functional but imo understandable when you have two scared people afraid of feeling and who are more comfortable playing games and running away than dealing with each other, dealing with life. 

Your call Emma.

Edited May 9, 2022 by poppyfields

[Emma7897]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Agree, which is true for HIM as well.  HE wouldn't be doing what he's doing either. 

Like attracts like, there IS something happening here on both sides. You and him.   People who don't care simply do NOT behave this way. 

Question now is, what are YOU gonna do about it?

Continue creating threads and playing guessing games?  Or confront the situation like a grown up?

None of this is healthy or functional but imo understandable when you have two scared people afraid of feeling and who are more comfortable playing games and running away than dealing with each other, dealing with life. 

Your call Emma.

What do you mean by “two people scared of feelings” 

[dramafreezone]

On 5/8/2022 at 1:01 AM, Emma7897 said:

 

Why does my ex fling add me on Snapchat every month? When added back he post a lot of selfies of him self, but never sends a message? Why does he keep adding me ??

 

It's not any different from when at 7 years old we messed with a girl by throwing dirt on her or chased her with a bug in our hand.  That's the girl we liked.

If you don't want the attention, get a restraining order. 

It sounds like you are having internal conflict; you are interested in him, despite knowing logically that he's not good for you.  But feelings are not logical and feelings are winning the battle right now.  I think despite all of the advice in this thread you will remain interested in him so you might as well indulge that interest.

Edited May 9, 2022 by dramafreezone

[Weezy1973]

OP do you realize how dysfunctional this all is? Unless you’re 14.

[poppyfields]

22 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

It's not any different from when at 7 years old we messed with a girl by throwing dirt on her or chased her with a bug in our hand.  That's the girl we liked.

Yup, like when I was 10 and this boy I liked was always stealing my hat and dunking me under water at the pool lol, turned out he had a huge crush on me!  

But he was 10 and just coming into his own and didn't know how to handle his emotions properly.  It's immaturity.

Your guy is an adult and apparently is still that immature little boy who can't deal with emotions in a healthy way so he messes with you and behaves like an idiot. 

I would suggest you look within to determine why you have the same issue, otherwise you'd either talk to him or simply ignore him. 

Edited May 9, 2022 by poppyfields

[Alpacalia]

Oh, sigh.

The point is that none of that matters.

What matters is that he behaves like a toad.

Are you into toads or men?

[Emma7897]

I’m not into this man at all I’m not interested in him!!! If I was I would be texting and calling him plus calling him after our date. I’m interested in why he keeps trying to follow me and contact me, but I’m not interested in the person!