What's his deal ?

[Emma7897]

 

Why does my ex fling add me on Snapchat every month? When added back he post a lot of selfies of him self, but never sends a message? Why does he keep adding me ??

 

[basil67]

We can't read his mind, but assuming you don't want to be added, I'd put him on the spot by straight up asking him why he's doing it.  "You added me to Snapchat again. Why are you doing this?"

Edited May 8, 2022 by basil67

[Alpacalia]

It's hard to say.

I have had unwanted contact from a former for 15 years, and I try to ignore and block these interactions.

One never knows what is going on in someone's mind until they tell you about it.

As long as his efforts are not welcome, the best thing that could be done is not to add him.

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

Ask him directly. 

[Emma7897]

1 minute ago, Alpacalia said:

It's hard to say.

I have had unwanted contact from a former for 15 years, and I try to ignore and block these interactions.

One never knows what is going on in someone's mind until they tell you about it.

As long as his efforts are not welcome, the best thing that could be done is not to add him.

 

 

Yes this is a person that chased me for years before I considered  giving him a date. We went on 1 date several months ago in which ended in him leaving early and us ghosting each other after are first date. Every month he does this, I’ll delete him  and he still does it? 

[Emma7897]

Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

Ask him directly. 

I was thinking about that! 

[Alpacalia]

2 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

Yes this is a person that chased me for years before I considered  giving him a date. We went on 1 date several months ago in which ended in him leaving early and us ghosting each other after are first date. Every month he does this, I’ll delete him  and he still does it? 

Oh.

Well mine is someone I went out with for 7 years.

But why are you adding him after you delete him?

[Weezy1973]

I’m not familiar with Snapchat but can someone just add you without your consent. Or do you have to accept their invitation?

[Emma7897]

8 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Oh.

Well mine is someone I went out with for 7 years.

But why are you adding him after you delete him?

You got a point there! Just curiosity, wanting to know what the outcome is? 

[Emma7897]

6 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

I’m not familiar with Snapchat but can someone just add you without your consent. Or do you have to accept their invitation?

Yes I’ve tried to block him but the thing with Snapchat is, they can make new accounts and add you through your phone number. 

[Alpacalia]

11 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

You got a point there! Just curiosity, wanting to know what the outcome is? 

10 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

Yes I’ve tried to block him but the thing with Snapchat is, they can make new accounts and add you through your phone number. 

Don't add people you don't know if he keeps adding you by looking up your phone number.

Or, if you happen to come across someone you're unfamiliar with, can you send them a message and ask how they know you first before adding them?

Edited May 8, 2022 by Alpacalia

[Emma7897]

12 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Don't add people you don't know if he keeps adding you by looking up your phone number.

Or, if you happen to come across someone you're unfamiliar with, can you send them a message and ask how they know you first before adding them?

I know him though. He’s not a stranger, he keeps adding me every month ??? He added me at 7am in the morning why was he thinking to add me that early??

[Weezy1973]

17 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

I know him though. He’s not a stranger, he keeps adding me every month ??? He added me at 7am in the morning why was he thinking to add me that early??

We’re not mind readers. Why don’t you ask him? Or, if you don’t want anything to do with him, don’t add him, block him, full no contact etc.

[ExpatInItaly]

17 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

I know him though. He’s not a stranger, he keeps adding me every month ??? 

But you said he creates new accounts. So why are you adding accounts that you don't recognize?

Or am I not understanding how Snapchat works? I don't use it. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

Why does my ex fling add me on Snapchat every month? 

Because you keep accepting it. Let go. Reset all your social media privacy settings. You need to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media, messaging apps, devices, contact lists and move on.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men. Let go of this guy.

[Alpacalia]

3 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

I know him though. He’s not a stranger, he keeps adding me every month ??? He added me at 7am in the morning why was he thinking to add me that early??

His adding you is as straightforward as turning off the kitchen faucet.

Adding you does not mean he's interested in you romantically or that he wants to date you.

In the case he did, then he would be trying to communicate with you further in some manner, and he is not doing that.  

Don't worry about his motives, just leave him in the rearview.

 

[Alvi]

1 hour ago, Alpacalia said:

His adding you is as straightforward as turning off the kitchen faucet.

Adding you does not mean he's interested in you romantically or that he wants to date you.

In the case he did, then he would be trying to communicate with you further in some manner, and he is not doing that.  

Don't worry about his motives, just leave him in the rearview.

 

This is a million times true. If he wanted to date you, he would not have ghosted you. That's all that matters.

Who knows why he does what he does? We cannot go into his head and see what he thinks. Maybe while he is not that interested, he wants to keep you around just in case. Better ask why you care about this at all. Don't keep accepting his invitation on the Spapchat. Block him everywhere. 

[Emma7897]

35 minutes ago, Alvi said:

This is a million times true. If he wanted to date you, he would not have ghosted you. That's all that matters.

Who knows why he does what he does? We cannot go into his head and see what he thinks. Maybe while he is not that interested, he wants to keep you around just in case. Better ask why you care about this at all. Don't keep accepting his invitation on the Spapchat. Block him everywhere. 

Yes that’s perfectly normal! I know if I didn’t like someone or I wasn’t interested in someone, I wouldn’t keep making accounts after being blocked and removed. Neither would I add someone in the quack of done at 7am because I’m not thinking about someone I’m not interested in at 7am. I wouldn’t keep doing this every month! 

[Alpacalia]

This would bore me.

I have no interest in trying decipher men's signals.

It is not worth my time or effort if they're unwilling to demonstrate clear interest.

[Emma7897]

13 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

This would bore me.

I have no interest in trying decipher men's signals.

It is not worth my time or effort if they're unwilling to demonstrate clear interest.

The only reason why I’m curious is because he keeps doing it. This is like his 6th time. If this wasn’t such a regular scenario I wouldn’t care. There has to be some interest if your adding someone at 7am in the morning. Whether you text them or not.

[glows]

5 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

The only reason why I’m curious is because he keeps doing it. This is like his 6th time. If this wasn’t such a regular scenario I wouldn’t care. There has to be some interest if your adding someone at 7am in the morning. Whether you text them or not.

Unstable? Inebriated? Uncoordinated? It's unknown and if he's always posting selfies or needs that attention, I have to wonder what his state of mind is. I'm afraid his behaviour doesn't seem very indicative of someone who is interested, well-intentioned or coherent.

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Emma7897 said:

There has to be some interest if your adding someone at 7am in the morning. 

Is that what you want to hear - that he's interested in you? 

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, Emma7897 said:

The only reason why I’m curious is because he keeps doing it. This is like his 6th time. If this wasn’t such a regular scenario I wouldn’t care. There has to be some interest if your adding someone at 7am in the morning. Whether you text them or not.

Re bolded, I've had guys intentionally mess with my head (or try to) like your guy is clearly doing, and I recall one guy saying it was an expression of endearment. 

You're right, if he didn't like you, he wouldn't bother, he'd be indifferent. 

That said his method of expressing his like for you is NOT healthy, normal or indicative of a well balanced person. 

He may like you and likes to mess with you but be clear Emma, he does not want a relationship with you, he may have a fear of commitment, be a "player" or any number of other issues that prevent him from acting like a 'normal' human being. 

My advice?  Do not allow him to mess with you, either block him, delete him or ignore him, or all three. 

I would NOT react in any way shape or form as that is most likely what he's aiming for - an emotional reaction.  It's an ego boost when you react. 

Don't.  Simply ignore him, nothing good or positive will ever become of this sick little  game he's playing, trust me on that!  

Edited May 8, 2022 by poppyfields

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

The only reason why I’m curious is because he keeps doing it. This is like his 6th time. If this wasn’t such a regular scenario I wouldn’t care. There has to be some interest if your adding someone at 7am in the morning. Whether you text them or not.

Well, maybe you can kind of get off on the fact he sees how fabulous your life is today -- hell, it is probably even better than it was before he was in it.

This is the kind of satisfaction we sign up for and should expect in the world of modern dating, isn't it? Trying to forget that guy, but he's not forgetting us?

Or, maybe you're reading way too much into all of this.

I guess I'm just wondering why he hasn't stopped following you. Is it just the fact that he thinks you're hot? Or is there more to it?

Who knows. 

[Alvi]

Like I said, who knows what is going on inside his head? Maybe he is suffering from some mental health problems. Maybe he is drunk or high on drugs when he adds you on a Snapchat. Maybe he adds you after a fight with his GF. Maybe he is too shy to actually date and is suffering from the severe anxieties. Maybe he wants to play some elaborate cat and mouse chase game with you. Maybe he wants to keep in touch but doesn't want to actually date you. Maybe he wants you to actually text him first. Maybe he doesn't even know why he does whatever he does. The list can go on and on. The only thing that is very clear that he has no intention of dating you. Otherwise, he would have contacted you and asked you out again already.

People do strange, crazy, stupid, confusing things at times. That's for sure. But you are probably putting way too much meaning into this. 

The better question that you need to be asking is not why he is doing whatever he is doing but why do you care at all? Do you think that he is a good relationship material? Do you think that he would make a good friend? Somehow I don't think he would be. Block, delete, ignore and go on with your day.

Edited May 8, 2022 by Alvi