How to ask if a man has kids?

May 11, 2022

2 hours ago, Alvi said:

How are you?

Me: Blah, blah, blah. And you?

Him: Blah, blah, blah. Do you have kids?

Me: No, and you?

Him: No

Yeah see exactly, all this kinda stuff was just basic natural things in any convo back in the day with anyone l spoke to. Just ask op and if he had a problem with that there's somethings wrong with him. You don't wanna waste wks or mths first on someone that later turns out to have kids.

Edited May 11, 2022 by chillii

May 11, 2022

If you have too many matches and messages you may be casting too wide of a net. Especially since you are on at least 3 free dating apps.

You can't rely on others to do the filtering for you. No one is obligated to state "I do not have children" on their profile to make your searching more convenient.

You claim the paid sites are unpopular in a huge city like London. However you're getting inundated on free and hook-up apps.

It's up to you to filter and that means asking pertinent questions.

May 11, 2022

22 hours ago, Marka said:

Yes, i wish people just put didn't skip this info in their profile. Would much prefer less matches and less chatting. But it is what it is.

That's part and parcel with OLD. People lie outright, lie by omissions, or deceive with photos that are old and no longer accurately represent what they look like.

You can with all you like, but it won't change anything. It's not hard to introduce to the conversation the question about children if they're omitting such information.

As far as I'm concerned, any missing piece of information from one's dating profile is fair game to be asked. If you're unmatched/blocked because you asked, you have your answer.

May 11, 2022

Well , actually, not so much. Bc he could easily just not admit to having any kids yet with that, bc she still hasn't actually asked the question.

May 11, 2022

On 5/10/2022 at 7:55 AM, Marka said:

Now I was chatting with a guy for two days on hinge. He was talking about his family that he grew up in big family and has lots of siblings. I asked him if he has his own kids and he unmatched me. I guess he did.

Again, that's two days of wasted time for both of you when you could have asked him the question within the 1st hour and saved 23 hours of your time and his. Just ask immediately.

May 11, 2022

On 5/10/2022 at 7:17 AM, Marka said:

Thats why I d lke to save time as it is exhausting to chat with so many people only to find out later that they have non-negotiable.

You don't have to chat with all these guys if you'd filter them out. You must like chatting with all these men.

May 11, 2022

5 hours ago, Ryan Schaeffer said:

This is how you ask a man if he has kids: I don't want the responsibility of having to deal with someone else's kids, how do you feel about this? Straightforward.

It is straightfoward. That said, as a guy with no kids, the way it's stated just hits the ear wrong for me. I wouldn't unmatch someone but what I hear there is "I don't want the responsibility" which is never good to hear regardless of the reason. Something can make perfect sense logically and still elicit a negative emotional reaction.

Long term relationships and marriages often encounter roadblocks/obstacles, and we have to deal with things that we don't want to at times. What I don't want to hear from a potential romantic interest is that they don't want responsibility for something. In my mind it is not consistent with someone that will hang with you through tough times and deal with things that no one wants to deal with. This is just my opinion on why she may want to consider a different, more emotionally sensitive approach.

Edited May 11, 2022 by dramafreezone

May 11, 2022

On 5/7/2022 at 11:13 PM, Marka said:

I dont like kids. They annoy me. I may be able to tolerate if a man has son 20+yo but I dont date in this age category. I don't have my own, not sure if I would want in the future, will depend on a guy. I understand that I may sound as a b**** but it is what it is.

I hear you!

I’m a mother of 2 and let me tell you that there is no worse noise in the world than children screaming/ squealing/ shrieking. It goes right through me and makes my blood boil.

Granted, my aversion to this was much worse before having my own children but it hasn’t gone away. I tolerate it better but still …

How old are you Op? Depending on your age will depend on the advise you get.

If you’re in the “the majority have got kids” age range try and date someone with young adolescents. They come with their own challenges but at least no babysitters are required….

And they don’t scream at the top of their voice.

May 11, 2022

On 5/10/2022 at 7:17 AM, Marka said:

When I see kids/photo of kids I dont feel :wow such cutie (when I see puppy I do feel it, I love dogs), but with kids I just feel meeeh. I am definitely emotionally not there to deal with them.

It's doubtful this feeling is going to go away even if you were to have your own kids. You can live without them.

May 11, 2022

37 minutes ago, stillafool said:

On 5/10/2022 at 4:17 AM, Marka said:

When I see kids/photo of kids I dont feel :wow such cutie (when I see puppy I do feel it, I love dogs), but with kids I just feel meeeh. I am definitely emotionally not there to deal with them.

So it sounds like you really don't want kids at all.

That's fine but why not just seek men that don't have or want kids instead of just men that don't have kids? Lots of men don't have them but want them.

Edited May 11, 2022 by dramafreezone

May 11, 2022

5 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

So it sounds like you really don't want kids at all.

That's fine but why not just seek men that don't have or want kids instead of just men that don't have kids? Lots of men don't have them but want them.

This is the reason why she doesn't do it and it's really not fair to waste these guys time but whatever;

On 5/8/2022 at 4:14 PM, Marka said:

That I will get childless guys turned off with this question asked early on. It sounds like the best bet is to ask further down the line even if it means spending more time on chatting.

May 12, 2022

I'm a divorced parent and although I always have that in my profile, it's been my experience dating single fathers that this almost ALWAYS comes up naturally in conversation...either in the messages or once we started chatting off the app. I really wouldn't worry about it TOO much. Even if you end up meeting someone and you haven't yet found out if they have kids, I guarantee it will come up! After a certain age, most people are concerned about whether or not you have kids, ages of kids, ect so this will be something you will talk about before a relationship gets off the ground.