JohnGuy Posted May 3, 2022 Posted May 3, 2022 Been dating her for 6 months, she currently lives with her parents and as shes 33, she wants to move out and to a location near where she is getting a job. But which is still closer to me. I currently have roommates and we only been dating for 3 months so we mind of decided it was too soon to move in together. She looked for ads online and told me about one where its a big house, price of rent is decent but its where another guy is living. The guy is around her age, don't know what he looks like or anything. He said he's is frequently out of town at his other job. It's a 4 bedroom house. Even though he may be gone at times he will still be around my GF more than I am. I initially told her I didn't like the idea and she was going to drop it but after thinking about the rental market right now and recently rented myself knowing how hard it is, I said if she can move there to just go for it. Telling myself it's not a big deal and she does not seem like the type of girl to cheat. They so far have made plans where she will be taking a viewing tomorrow. But now, I'm kind of worried or is it me just being insecure??
basil67 Posted May 3, 2022 Posted May 3, 2022 If she's a cheating type, she will cheat whether or not she lives with a guy. When I met my husband, he was renting out two rooms to female friends. It never occurred to me that he may cheat (and I'm sure he didn't) so there could be a degree of insecurity happening for you.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 My ex-boyfriend lived with two female classmates/friends in university. I had met them several times and they were nice people. There were never any issues and it ended with them all moving out the last year of school to live with their respective partners. I would give this a chance, OP. If she senses you already don't trust her, it will create problems. And who knows, you might end up liking the guy. (Or she might wind up sick of him after living together!)
Wiseman2 Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 9 hours ago, JohnGuy said: , she wants to move out and to a location near where she is getting a job. But which is still closer to me. I currently have roommates and we only been dating for 3 months. Is this a long distance relationship? How often do you see each other? Where do you hang out at this time? Do you have any privacy? It's not your concern what her living arrangements are. See what happens. Either it works out or it doesn't.
Fox Sake Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 16 hours ago, JohnGuy said: Been dating her for 6 months, she currently lives with her parents and as shes 33, she wants to move out and to a location near where she is getting a job. But which is still closer to me. I currently have roommates and we only been dating for 3 months so we mind of decided it was too soon to move in together. She looked for ads online and told me about one where its a big house, price of rent is decent but its where another guy is living. The guy is around her age, don't know what he looks like or anything. He said he's is frequently out of town at his other job. It's a 4 bedroom house. Even though he may be gone at times he will still be around my GF more than I am. I initially told her I didn't like the idea and she was going to drop it but after thinking about the rental market right now and recently rented myself knowing how hard it is, I said if she can move there to just go for it. Telling myself it's not a big deal and she does not seem like the type of girl to cheat. They so far have made plans where she will be taking a viewing tomorrow. But now, I'm kind of worried or is it me just being insecure?? If you’re worried now, that is only going to get worse as times goes on. You don’t hear back from her - you’ll assume she is with him. She doesn’t answer the phone - your brain will likely run to the closest reasonable excuse. She may be perfectly trustworthy, but given how you’re looking at this - I think you’re gonna end up paranoid and that will harbour resentment. Which then manifests itself in all sorts of other ways. Usually when something is good, you both are so infatuated with each other that you “just know”. It doesn’t sound like this. 3 months dating or 6 months? You said both …. Who ultimately decided it was too soon to move in together? You or her? You can say both but one of you must have come up with that first. If it was you, then you can’t really blame her for who she moves in with, as there was a opportunity for you to both take. It sounds like the paranoia/concern/insecurity will potentially mess your head up and that’s my biggest concern in reading your post. you’ve been together for 6 months and are in your 30’s. What are you scared of? Try renting together- if it works - great! If it doesn’t - you can move on without wasting anymore time and learn whatever lessons you need to take away. Really tho , personally , if you don’t trust her implicitly, trust in your relationship, trust in your bond and connection, then that’s not a great start…..you need to trust her and know that you can trust her.
smackie9 Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 Why not go with her to the viewing? Then the guy can see you are with her, AND I would do it just for safety reasons.
jdesey Posted May 6, 2022 Posted May 6, 2022 this is a trainwreck waiting to happen. You will never be comfortable with the situation
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