jdesey Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 Little background I am 55 and have been single for six years now. so there’s this woman that is friends with a married couple that I am friends with. I got to know her on and off as I was helping my friend at his house with his remodel over the last six months. It was never a good time to try to ask her out for a drink so I left her a note today on her car telling her I’d like to get to know her better and my phone number, as I was helping my friend move his son into a townhome literally next-door to this woman. I heard back from her within about an hour and a half I’m leaving a note. She said she was flattered but she is seeing somebody right now. I don’t think it matters but she is in my age range, a little older than me probably 61 years old. so I replied back and said “why are all the good ones taken“. I guess I’m putting out this post to see what the women think. Why would she respond to me at all yes she’s into the guy that she seeing? Should I keep her number and text her every couple of months or something?
FMW Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 She was being polite. Since you both know the same couple she might have felt it would be awkward to just ignore you. I'm not saying she didn't find you nice and/or nice looking, but I would not pursue her. That could also be awkward. If she becomes available and is interested, she'll let the couple know. 1
Ami1uwant Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 I agree since she figures she would run into her again, she just responded. I’m assuming she is being honest and not lying to you. how much have you and her talked? 1
basil67 Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 Ignoring a note is fair if you were a complete stranger, but as you have mutual friends she chose to be polite and respond to you. 1
ShyViolet Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 When someone turns you down for a date, you don't keep asking every couple of months.
chillii Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 She was being polite and leaving things sorted , she's seeing someone , better you know. Just wondering though surely your friends knew she was seeing someone, why didn't you find out first ? But anyway, she's spoken for , greener pastures.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 4 hours ago, jdesey said: Why would she respond to me at all yes she’s into the guy that she seeing? Why wouldn't she? She is being honest that she is not available. I don't see what is peculiar about that. 4 hours ago, jdesey said: Should I keep her number and text her every couple of months or something? No, you shouldn't. She has said no. That's your cue to move along. 1
Wiseman2 Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 6 hours ago, jdesey said: . She said she was flattered but she is seeing somebody right now. That's ok, just leave her alone and move forward. Next time, engage in some small talk and ask if someone would like to have coffee sometime. The note on the car thing is a bit creepy and off-putting.
introverted1 Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 So either she's single, but not interested in you, or she really is seeing someone. Either way, she's said no, so I think you need to let it go. If things change, she can circle back or drop a hint with your mutual friends.
glows Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 I'd have done the same thing and responded as well out of politeness. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of thing and that's why all too often people choose to just block someone or ghost that person, never respond. They don't want to deal with any pushback or someone getting frustrated that "the good ones are taken". Why wouldn't she have responded? It's the kind thing to do seeing as you have mutual friends. You can try reaching out every once in awhile but it would seem peculiar if you have no reason to do so or no longer see each other in passing. I think it would also be taking up life and space in your brain and heart. Meet other women and spend time elsewhere.
dramafreezone Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 (edited) 14 hours ago, jdesey said: Little background I am 55 and have been single for six years now. so there’s this woman that is friends with a married couple that I am friends with. I got to know her on and off as I was helping my friend at his house with his remodel over the last six months. It was never a good time to try to ask her out for a drink so I left her a note today on her car telling her I’d like to get to know her better and my phone number, as I was helping my friend move his son into a townhome literally next-door to this woman. I heard back from her within about an hour and a half I’m leaving a note. She said she was flattered but she is seeing somebody right now. I don’t think it matters but she is in my age range, a little older than me probably 61 years old. so I replied back and said “why are all the good ones taken“. I guess I’m putting out this post to see what the women think. Why would she respond to me at all yes she’s into the guy that she seeing? Should I keep her number and text her every couple of months or something? She replied to be polite IMO. In any event, it doesn't matter. She gave you your answer so I'd move on to someone that wants to date you. I don't think there's some hidden meaning behind her replying. If anything be thankful that she was upfront. Additionally, was there any indication of interest from her or did you just ask because you liked her? I say this because if you ask any random woman out the answer is likely to be no, so may help to stick to asking women that at least show interest in you so that the odds work more to your favor. Edited May 1, 2022 by dramafreezone
Alvi Posted May 1, 2022 Posted May 1, 2022 I just want to say goof for reaching out to her and asking her out. It takes guts. Unfortunately, it doesn't always works out the way you want it to but at least you have tried. She rejected you very politely. How else do you expect her to respond? No, do not reach out to her again. Do not linger in the background, waiting for her to be single someday. Talk and date other women. Be nice and polite if you ever see her again. But that's it. Don't ever try to ask her out again.
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