Ms.Jade Posted April 29, 2022 Posted April 29, 2022 I'm very confused on what to do about my feelings for a coworker. There's a new guy that's started at my job for a little over a month. He's very mysterious and attractive. He's not very social with anyone at work except our managers. I don't really know a lot about him but for some strange reason I feel intrigued by him. He always works around me helping me when he has options to help other people but I've noticed it seems he pays more attention to me than others, he's always around me and he actually speaks to me even though it's small banter, basically a hey good morning, how are you,are you ok? Basic conversation. I feel this tensions between us, it's like we can't stop glancing and looking at each other. Even if we're across the room we're continuously making eye contact even if it's for a few seconds. Even when we're speaking I feel a spark and I can kind of tell he likes me too (Speculation) but I don't know what to do with a crush at work situation.Even some of our coworkers picked up on our vibe, a female coworker commented today on how he's always around me and called him my work boo lol. I don't even know if he's taken or married. The last few days I feel like the vibe is changing like maybe he lost interest and it bothers me. He didn't come around me like he usually does to and there was no eye contact and I feel he's losing interest and I actually felt hurt about it lol. I know you shouldn't mix romance with work but I think it's best I don't act on this crush. My question I guess would be how to get over someone I have to see everyday and basically flush the feelings I have out?
Weezy1973 Posted April 29, 2022 Posted April 29, 2022 21 minutes ago, Ms.Jade said: My question I guess would be how to get over someone I have to see everyday and basically flush the feelings I have out? So this is a crush. My advice to men in this situation is to just ask your crush put on a date.You’ll get your answer and will no longer have the torment of your own mind making things up. My advice to you is something similar. You have to just take it head on to get an answer one way or another. Either you’ll get a date, or you’ll know he’s not interested or unavailable. And you’ll relieve yourself of the torment of your own mind.
mortensorchid Posted April 30, 2022 Posted April 30, 2022 I have said this before and I will say this again : Coworkers are not friends. It's easy to think they are because you will spend more time with coworkers than you will with anyone else. It is all business with them at ALL TIMES. I had a crush on a coworker a few years ago, was rejected and it shattered me. It shattered me in a way that I have never been able to get past, my self esteem is in the gutter and will never come out. And I never spoke a word / saw him again after the rejection. You are risking seeing him again should he reject you. Don't do it. You'll be happier.
Wiseman2 Posted April 30, 2022 Posted April 30, 2022 9 hours ago, Ms.Jade said: I feel he's losing interest and I actually felt hurt about it It sounds like you already know what to do. Act friendly, polite and professional at work. Don't stare or make things awkward. There was no "romance" going on, so don't worry about it. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men you don't work with.
smackie9 Posted April 30, 2022 Posted April 30, 2022 I have a feeling he over heard such comments from the other coworkers and felt embarrassed. He isn't losing interest, he just doesn't want to draw that kind of attention to himself. 1
Beachead Posted April 30, 2022 Posted April 30, 2022 21 hours ago, Ms.Jade said: My question I guess would be how to get over someone I have to see everyday and basically flush the feelings I have out? Use logic. This is a place where you earn the money you need to pay the bills so that you have a roof over your head and food to eat. You need to be focused to ensure you continue to earn the money. If you ask this guy out and he rejects you, you'll have to see him everyday and it will shatter you. I did ask a coworker out in the past, she rejected me and it was very..very difficult to be there. I never got over it until I finally left the job. Heartbreak needs space and time. You won't have that luxury seeing this guy everyday at work. You will suffer there which means it'll jeopardize your ability to stay focused on your job, pay your bills and take care of yourself. Find romance in a different place of institution. 1
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