Stephen Furry Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 I met her about 10 years ago, when she was on vacation in my city. I added her on Instagram and we’ve been friends ever since, sorta like a pen pal. We both found each other attractive, and I asked her out on a date. She said she loved to, but she’s in Europe and I’m in the US. I’m not the richest man in the world and she seems like the expensive type. Should I just go for it and see what happens???
dramafreezone Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 3 minutes ago, Stephen Furry said: I met her about 10 years ago, when she was on vacation in my city. I added her on Instagram and we’ve been friends ever since, sorta like a pen pal. We both found each other attractive, and I asked her out on a date. She said she loved to, but she’s in Europe and I’m in the US. I’m not the richest man in the world and she seems like the expensive type. Should I just go for it and see what happens??? She's geographically undesirable. I'm sure there are love stories that began how you describe but they are few and far between. Availability is vital to a healthy relationship or anything else that you want to grow. If you want to go to satisfy your curiosity I think that's fine but don't go with the expectation that this is going to turn into something you can maintain.
glows Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 You can always invite her to your town and see how things go. If you're broke you're limited so why stress yourself out more going to see her. If she won't fly over to see you then let the "friendship" fade and start meeting local women. Avoid people who cling or use guilt trips. Why are you broke by the way? Do you work? Would you have any plans for yourself?
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 9 minutes ago, Stephen Furry said: I met her about 10 years ago, when she was on vacation in my city. I added her on Instagram and we’ve been friends ever since, sorta like a pen pal. Should I just go for it and see what happens??? There's nothing to "go for", since you can't really have a relationship with someone a world away. Stay penpals.
BaileyB Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 (edited) You are geographically incompatible. The idea of a relationship with this woman is little more than fantasy… Edited April 27, 2022 by BaileyB
poppyfields Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Stephen Furry said: I met her about 10 years ago, when she was on vacation in my city. I added her on Instagram and we’ve been friends ever since, sorta like a pen pal. We both found each other attractive, and I asked her out on a date. Did you ask her out on a 'date' recently? What changed in 10 years that she went from friend/pen pal to a woman you'd like to date? Realistically and since you have little money to visit or sustain the geographical challenges, best to keep her as a pen pal, imho. Date local women. Edited April 27, 2022 by poppyfields
Author Stephen Furry Posted April 27, 2022 Author Posted April 27, 2022 (edited) I live in the most expensive places in the US, San Francisco. I have a good job but it’s not enough to live comfortably here. I have to mention that I do fly anywhere in the world for free though work. Yes, I asked her out recently. I’ve dated many local women but nothing meaningful Edited April 27, 2022 by Stephen Furry 1
vla1120 Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 2 minutes ago, Stephen Furry said: I live in the most expensive places in the US, San Francisco. I have a good job but it’s not enough to live comfortably here. I have to mention that I do fly anywhere in the world for free though work. Yes, I asked her out recently. I’ve dated many local women but nothing meaningful It's nice that you can fly anywhere for free and I don't see any problem with flying to meet with her. Before you do, I would lay all your cards out on the table and let her know your financial situation. That might be a deciding factor for her if you think she's high maintenance in that area. It would be a lot easier for you if you could meet someone local, though.
smackie9 Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 7 minutes ago, Stephen Furry said: I live in the most expensive places in the US, San Francisco. I have a good job but it’s not enough to live comfortably here. I have to mention that I do fly anywhere in the world for free though work. Yes, I asked her out recently. I’ve dated many local women but nothing meaningful Does you company offer relocation? Have a branch near her?
Alvi Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 Is there not one single local woman in your own town or a city that you can ask out? I think you can. Is there not one guy in her homecountry that she can date? Sure she can. I don't understand why some people cling to some fairytale fantasy instead of actually finding a real person to date.
Author Stephen Furry Posted April 27, 2022 Author Posted April 27, 2022 Sure I could relocate within my company, but that’s thinking way ahead. I’ve dated locally but nothing here for me. I mean if you seen this girl, you would understand. We just click, I’ve told myself over and over she would be perfect if it weren’t for the circumstances. I’ve done long distance before, but the flight was only 1 hour
ExpatInItaly Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 18 minutes ago, Stephen Furry said: I’ve told myself over and over she would be perfect Without having actually dated her, you don't know this. Be careful about idealizing her and putting the cart before the horse. You could visit her, but then what? It appears it would very difficult to maintain this when you're on different continents.
ShyViolet Posted April 28, 2022 Posted April 28, 2022 No, you should not. It makes zero sense to pursue a person who lives on the other side of the world. This woman is a penpal and a fantasy in your head. Come back to reality and date people in your own geographical area.
chillii Posted April 28, 2022 Posted April 28, 2022 (edited) You've known her 10 yrs she seems way ahead of anyone else you've met you can fly free, that's all a huge start. Ever talked about either moving, or would you like to move if it went somewhere ? You can fly free atm she's extra special l agree with above lay it on the table, if all is still well go see her take it from there, if it isn't problem solved. Edited April 28, 2022 by chillii
glows Posted April 28, 2022 Posted April 28, 2022 (edited) 12 hours ago, Stephen Furry said: Sure I could relocate within my company, but that’s thinking way ahead. I’ve dated locally but nothing here for me. I mean if you seen this girl, you would understand. We just click, I’ve told myself over and over she would be perfect if it weren’t for the circumstances. I’ve done long distance before, but the flight was only 1 hour I'm in the minority as I don't see the issue if it's a casual thing and it costs you very little to see her. It's very unlikely I'd take a woman or partner like this seriously. Are you meaning to say that you fly to see her each time on your company's dime and she sits there waiting for you, doing nothing and not putting any effort into this? It's hardly likely she's perfect. Are you usually attracted to women who expect you to do all the work in a relationship? If it's a fling, why not. It's been 10 years and it could fall flat and maybe that's a great thing because you wouldn't waste another 10 years crushing on a woman on another continent. This would be done and dusted and you may feel so much less emotionally occupied by this person. This is really up to you. Edited April 28, 2022 by glows
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