Delevante20 Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 Am I overthinking or does she find me unattractive? i went on a date last night, everything was going well when my date looked at me and said i "looked weird". I was taken back by her outburst so asked if she found me ugly. And she said no I was not ugly I was handsome. Still feeling hurt about it I carried on with the date and took her home and gave her a goodbye kiss. Later that night she texted me saying she had a good time with me, and I asked her if she found me attractive and she said "yes". But I can't help feeling she might be saying this to make me feel better about looking weird am I overthinking her comment and should i shrug it off or was she covering up to spare my feelings?
basil67 Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 Assuming this wasn't a blind date, she would know what you look like and has entered into the date with that knowledge. So it can't be an overall bad weird vibe. I can't help but wonder if you were pulling an unusual face when she said that. What exactly were you doing or thinking just before she said it? Were you giving someone a side eye? Or scowling at a menu? Feeling a bit ill? Drunk? Unfortunately, you asked the wrong question (twice!) and so didn't find out what she meant. Had you responded with a laugh and "OMG what am I doing?" she may well have told you what is was she was referring to. 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 6 hours ago, Delevante20 said: asked if she found me ugly. And she said no I was not ugly I was handsome. , and I asked her if she found me attractive and she said "yes". If she goes out with you, it means there's some interest. However you could kill that quickly by repeatedly asking her how attractive you are. Try to have more self confidence. 1
dramafreezone Posted April 28, 2022 Posted April 28, 2022 Looks are subjective. If she is out with you, in her mind you are attractive enough for her. That's all that matters. Maybe she meant your demeanor and body language. Were you nervous? If you're super nervous that's what your body is going to convey, weirdness. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 28, 2022 Posted April 28, 2022 On 4/27/2022 at 6:05 AM, Delevante20 said: when my date looked at me and said i "looked weird" I think I would have called it a night right there. I don't bother with rude people.
glows Posted April 28, 2022 Posted April 28, 2022 Have you asked her out again? And if so, what did she say? Weird doesn't necessarily mean ugly. For context I have mixed heritage and we were all considered very "weird" looking back then, neither here nor there, colour off and features mixed up. Now apparently it's exotic or considered beautiful. It wasn't always the case so try not to read so much into "weird". The positive parts are that she mentioned enjoying her time with you. If she agrees to go out with you again see how it goes. If she continues to make unusual or rude comments in other contexts then reconsider whether you want to see her again.
smackie9 Posted April 28, 2022 Posted April 28, 2022 Why didn't you just ask "weird in what way?" instead of blurting out/assuming that it meant you were ugly. 1
Alvi Posted April 28, 2022 Posted April 28, 2022 (edited) On 4/26/2022 at 10:05 PM, Delevante20 said: I was taken back by her outburst Is English not your first language? If so, I think you misunderstood what she have said to you. One comment is not an outburst, unless she said it in a very mean, rude or in a condescending way. I think by her saying that you look weird, she did not mean your actual looks. She probably meant your actions She meant that you were acting weird. Could be your facial expression, eyes movement, your gestures, your tone of voice, the way you were talking, anything that she found strange about your mannerism. Not everything is about looks. You can go out with a good looking person and still find his or her behavior extremely inappropriate or downright creepy. This has nothing to do with his or her looks. You can go out with a good looking person and still feel zero attraction. Some people act and look weird when they get nervous. Weird facial expression = looking weird. Perhaps she meant that your facial expressions looked weird at that particular moment. But why didn't you ask her to clarify what she meant? I don't think she would've agreed to kiss you at the end of the date and sent you that she had a good time message if she thought that you were ugly. You seem to be very self conscious about your looks. Maybe something to work on. Edited April 28, 2022 by Alvi 1
Author Delevante20 Posted April 28, 2022 Author Posted April 28, 2022 (edited) 7 hours ago, Alvi said: Is English not your first language? If so, I think you misunderstood what she have said to you. One comment is not an outburst, unless she said it in a very mean, rude or in a condescending way. I think by her saying that you look weird, she did not mean your actual looks. She probably meant your actions She meant that you were acting weird. Could be your facial expression, eyes movement, your gestures, your tone of voice, the way you were talking, anything that she found strange about your mannerism. Not everything is about looks. You can go out with a good looking person and still find his or her behavior extremely inappropriate or downright creepy. This has nothing to do with his or her looks. You can go out with a good looking person and still feel zero attraction. Some people act and look weird when they get nervous. Weird facial expression = looking weird. Perhaps she meant that your facial expressions looked weird at that particular moment. But why didn't you ask her to clarify what she meant? I don't think she would've agreed to kiss you at the end of the date and sent you that she had a good time message if she thought that you were ugly. You seem to be very self conscious about your looks. Maybe something to work on. Thank you! This makes sense. No French is my first language. Edited April 28, 2022 by Delevante20
Recommended Posts