Was it only sex then? I want more.

[poppyfields]

4 minutes ago, Amanda141 said:

Another thing that made me want to cut him out of my life is that today I texted him that I took the pill, and was hoping not to have too many side effects. His answer? ““. 
Is it a joke?! Not even asking how I am?

Why do you need him to ask you how you are, did you ask him how he is? 

Amanda, please understand that asking that question is often contrived, has no meaning, and if truth be told, most people including new men you have sex with or date don't give a rat's rear end how you're doing.  Harsh truth. 

If you're well enough to respond or send a coherent text, they assume you're just fine and IF they ask how you're doing, it's out of politeness and standard dating protocol. 

In other words - contrived, meaningless. So I would not place too much value on the fact he didn't ask. 

I also wouldn't place value on him accompanying you to the pharmacy to purchase the morning after pill. 

He went with you to assure you took the pill and not attempt to trap him into a pregnancy - he may have experienced other women doing that.  

I read on another forum one man has five kids with five different ONS, that he knows of, there could be more. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's best to dispel any fantasies that this guy gives a *.  

Have no expectations whatsoever. If you can enjoy the sex for what it is, nothing more, nothing less, then carry on while keeping options open and meeting/dating other men. 

If you can't do that, wish him well, move on and cherish the experience.

[Allupinnit]

32 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Why do you need him to ask you how you are, did you ask him how he is? 

Amanda, please understand that asking that question is often contrived, has no meaning, and if truth be told, most people including new men you have sex with or date don't give a rat's rear end how you're doing.  Harsh truth. 

If you're well enough to respond or send a coherent text, they assume you're just fine and IF they ask how you're doing, it's out of politeness and standard dating protocol. 

In other words - contrived, meaningless. So I would not place too much value on the fact he didn't ask. 

I also wouldn't place value on him accompanying you to the pharmacy to purchase the morning after pill. 

He went with you to assure you took the pill and not attempt to trap him into a pregnancy - he may have experienced other women doing that.  

I read on another forum one man has five kids with five different ONS, that he knows of, there could be more. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's best to dispel any fantasies that this guy gives a *.  

Have no expectations whatsoever. If you can enjoy the sex for what it is, nothing more, nothing less, then carry on while keeping options open and meeting/dating other men. 

If you can't do that, wish him well, move on and cherish the experience.

Our culture likes to tell us to operate like this, but women aren't wired this way if they really like the guy.  And let's be honest, most of the time women aren't "casual" with men they don't really like enough to sleep with.

[poppyfields]

13 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

Our culture likes to tell us to operate like this, but women aren't wired this way if they really like the guy.  And let's be honest, most of the time women aren't "casual" with men they don't really like enough to sleep with.

Wholeheartedly agree with you.  

Speaking for myself, I've never been able to be casual about sex, I'm not wired that way; my suggestion was only because Amanda kept saying how awesome the sex was, placing a lot of emphasis on it, so I thought, well, if she's able to separate the sex from the emotion and enjoy the sex for what it is, nothing more, nothing less, it may work for her. 

There are women who are able to - engage in FWB and FB type relationships.

However, reading Amanda'a last post, she's unable to or has no desire to, so she deleted his number which was the best decision for her. 

Edited May 1, 2022 by poppyfields

[Will am I]

4 hours ago, Amanda141 said:

Another thing that made me want to cut him out of my life is that today I texted him that I took the pill, and was hoping not to have too many side effects. His answer? ““. 
Is it a joke?! Not even asking how I am?

I don’t want to allow anyone to treat me like this. 

That is so hurtful :(

That pill, the objective of preventing an unplanned pregnacy. Assuming that neither of you wanted a pregnacy, that was 50% for him and 50% for you. The pain, 100% on you. Your sacrifice to him.

 

 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Amanda141 said:

Another thing that made me want to cut him out of my life is that today I texted him that I took the pill, and was hoping not to have too many side effects. His answer? ““.

He is worse than junk food. .

No matter how hungry you get, do not indulge in garbage like this man.

Save your appetite for a decent nutritious meal.

Here's an emoji for him:

 

Edited May 1, 2022 by Wiseman2

[Amanda141]

32 minutes ago, Will am I said:

That is so hurtful

That pill, the objective of preventing an unplanned pregnacy. Assuming that neither of you wanted a pregnacy, that was 50% for him and 50% for you. The pain, 100% on you. Your sacrifice to him.

 

 

Neither of us wanted a pregnancy (we are young and only had 3 dates) but the fact that he didnt even check on me was just disrespectful. I dont want to waste any more of my time for a guy like him. Apparently the only good thing he has are his looks, nothing more for how he behaved

[Weezy1973]

27 minutes ago, Amanda141 said:

Neither of us wanted a pregnancy (we are young and only had 3 dates) but the fact that he didnt even check on me was just disrespectful. I dont want to waste any more of my time for a guy like him. Apparently the only good thing he has are his looks, nothing more for how he behaved

I’d caution against vilifying him. You don’t know him. If you want your dating / relationships to improve take ownership of your life. What part did you play in all of this? Why did you get so caught up after so little time? 

[stillafool]

14 hours ago, Amanda141 said:

If he texts me again for sex, sure (if I am not dating anyone else), otherwise ciaooo

What happened to this attitude?  This is what you were thinking after he took you to get the pill and offered to pay for it.  Nothing about "if he follows up with me after taking the pill" etc., just if he wants sex again and then it was a go.  How did you change so quickly by the end of this thread?  You do want more from him than just sex and he's already distancing himself  because he knows after you take that pill it will be a while before you can have sex again.

[basil67]

7 hours ago, Amanda141 said:

Another thing that made me want to cut him out of my life is that today I texted him that I took the pill, and was hoping not to have too many side effects. His answer? ““. 
Is it a joke?! Not even asking how I am?

I don’t want to allow anyone to treat me like this. 

To be fair, you chose to be treated like this when you decided to stick around and enjoy no-strings hot sex with him.   He's never pretended to be anything other than a casual hookup, so I'm not sure why you expected more from him.

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, basil67 said:

He's never pretended to be anything other than a casual hookup, so I'm not sure why you expected more from him.

I have to agree. To him, taking the morning-after pill was no big deal. Just an extra precaution. 

Amanda, I can understand why you would have liked a more elaborate response than an emoji, but given his casual approach to everything else, I am not sure why you're surprised by it. Anyway, now you know not to bother with casual sex with men like this. The outcome usually isn't worth it. 

[bene]

19 hours ago, Amanda141 said:

Another thing that made me want to cut him out of my life is that today I texted him that I took the pill, and was hoping not to have too many side effects. His answer? ““. 
Is it a joke?! Not even asking how I am?

It looks like you’re expecting him to act like a boyfriend. 

To an outside viewer his actions have been consistent. He’s super casual, hasn’t made any promises and hasn’t pretended that his intentions are serious. It’s up to you to accept what he’s offering (casual sex) or not.

[Allupinnit]

15 hours ago, basil67 said:

To be fair, you chose to be treated like this when you decided to stick around and enjoy no-strings hot sex with him.   He's never pretended to be anything other than a casual hookup, so I'm not sure why you expected more from him.

Right!  Any man who asks to come over on the first meet is NOT a gentleman and is looking for SEX!  I don't know why women try to convince themselves otherwise.  

[salparadise]

Hey @Amanda141 I came back to see how you're doing and if you'd had any more interaction with him. Care to give us an update? How are feeling about it all after a week or so?

[Lauriebell82]

On 4/26/2022 at 5:45 PM, Amanda141 said:

@Ami1uwant Why o you think so? how can I make him know I want more and how can I change his mind? 

You cant. You slept with him too quick before letting an emotional connection develop beforehand. While in very very rare instances, a serious relationship can form out of a hookup..its not the norm. 
 

I think if this guy was thinking about a long term relationship he would not have mentioned going back to your apartment on the first date. He just wanted a hookup. If you keep seeing him, he will just want sex but it wont go further then that. Move on to a man who wants a serious relationship, and wait to have sex! And avoid men who take you to bars for first dates. 

[Amanda141]

7 hours ago, salparadise said:

Hey @Amanda141 I came back to see how you're doing and if you'd had any more interaction with him. Care to give us an update? How are feeling about it all after a week or so?

Hello! Thanks for your interest  After the last time where I had to take the pill (almost 2 weeks ago), I have not heard from him or reached out to him anymore. He only wanted sex, I wanted a relationship, so clearly it was not a match. Honestly, I am feeling great! I didn't dwell on it too much, as I knew we were looking for different things.

I am back into the dating scene, let's see what life has in store for me.

[Will am I]

41 minutes ago, Amanda141 said:

Hello! Thanks for your interest  After the last time where I had to take the pill (almost 2 weeks ago), I have not heard from him or reached out to him anymore. He only wanted sex, I wanted a relationship, so clearly it was not a match. Honestly, I am feeling great! I didn't dwell on it too much, as I knew we were looking for different things.

I am back into the dating scene, let's see what life has in store for me.

Nice to hear that!

 

Apologizing on behalf of all manhood for the behaviour of the specimen that you met. His cold behavior when you had to take that pill also in his interest, I found that disgraceful. Wishing you a much much better partner soon.

[Lauriebell82]

4 hours ago, Amanda141 said:

Hello! Thanks for your interest  After the last time where I had to take the pill (almost 2 weeks ago), I have not heard from him or reached out to him anymore. He only wanted sex, I wanted a relationship, so clearly it was not a match. Honestly, I am feeling great! I didn't dwell on it too much, as I knew we were looking for different things.

I am back into the dating scene, let's see what life has in store for me.

Good for you! Good luck in the dating scene! It was rough out there when I was dating!