CEM98 Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 So I've recently just got out of a long term relationship and my friend knows someone who she thinks would be a good match for me. So I followed him on instagram and he followed me back, then liked one of my posts. He is soooo attractive. One night I got drunk and added him on snapchat and Facebook at the same time... Now I'm completely embarrassed at myself for doing this and feel like he probably thinks I'm crazy. He added me back on both but I still feel super uneasy about it and think I've come across like a stalker! I don't want to reach out to him at all now and just want to leave things be, but have I completely ruined my chances????
Author CEM98 Posted April 25, 2022 Author Posted April 25, 2022 I've also never met him before in my life which makes it worse..
Wiseman2 Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 4 minutes ago, CEM98 said: One night I got drunk and added him on snapchat and Facebook at the same time. Well you didn't ruin anything because there was nothing to ruin. He hasn't contacted you or reached out, so just let the dust settle and don't scan his social media. 2
stillafool Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 6 minutes ago, CEM98 said: He is soooo attractive. ^^^^^He's probably used to girls chasing him. 3
Author CEM98 Posted April 25, 2022 Author Posted April 25, 2022 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Well you didn't ruin anything because there was nothing to ruin. He hasn't contacted you or reached out, so just let the dust settle and don't scan his social media. Yeah I agree. I just worry he won’t reach out now at all and thinks I’m crazy lol
Wiseman2 Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 Just now, CEM98 said: Yeah I agree. I just worry he won’t reach out now at all and thinks I’m crazy lol There were no guarantees he would reach out either way. In fact this matchmaker friend shouldn't have told you to follow him. If you are ready to date get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and just start talking to and meeting real men in real life who clearly show interest rather than the musings of a friend/matchmaker. 3
glows Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 I don't think it's as bad as you think. People add others for no rhyme or reason and if you weren't sure about how to approach him, voila, you already have and now the ball's in his court. If he wants to ask you out he can but I wouldn't wait for it or hold my breath. You say you are just out of a long term relationship and not many will want to be involved with someone who has just ended things with someone else. See how it goes. 3
dramafreezone Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 (edited) 45 minutes ago, CEM98 said: So I've recently just got out of a long term relationship and my friend knows someone who she thinks would be a good match for me. So I followed him on instagram and he followed me back, then liked one of my posts. He is soooo attractive. One night I got drunk and added him on snapchat and Facebook at the same time... Now I'm completely embarrassed at myself for doing this and feel like he probably thinks I'm crazy. He added me back on both but I still feel super uneasy about it and think I've come across like a stalker! I don't want to reach out to him at all now and just want to leave things be, but have I completely ruined my chances???? We tend to overestimate how often others think about us or how much time they spend thinking of us when they do. I add people on social media, LinkedIn, it doesn't really mean a great deal in itself other than he doesn't find you repulsive. I've received adds from people I know of but thought didn't even know who I was. Just take it slow. Edited April 25, 2022 by dramafreezone 2
Author CEM98 Posted April 25, 2022 Author Posted April 25, 2022 2 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: We tend to overestimate how often others think about us or how much time they spend thinking of us when they do. I add people on social media, LinkedIn, it doesn't really mean a great deal in itself other than he doesn't find you repulsive. I've received adds from people I know of but thought didn't even know who I was. Just take it slow. Yeah definitely. I’m probably over thinking it, I just don’t want to come off too strong adding him on all my socials at the one time! But yeah not rushing into anything, just worried I’ve scared someone off
ExpatInItaly Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 1 minute ago, CEM98 said: But yeah not rushing into anything, just worried I’ve scared someone off It's highly unlikely he'd have added/followed you back if he were scared off. Deep breaths, girl. You're fine. 1
Author CEM98 Posted April 25, 2022 Author Posted April 25, 2022 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: It's highly unlikely he'd have added/followed you back if he were scared off. Deep breaths, girl. You're fine. Thank you!!
glows Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 1 hour ago, CEM98 said: just worried I’ve scared someone off Not likely.
Wiseman2 Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 1 hour ago, CEM98 said: Yeah definitely. I’m probably over thinking it, I just don’t want to come off too strong adding him on all my socials at the one time! But yeah not rushing into anything, just worried I’ve scared someone off You're fine. You can't 'scare off' an interested man. 1
Alpacalia Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 (edited) Double add. Zoinks. Feeling a bit frisky and a bit tipsy after leaving a relationship probably skewed your actions a little. Lessen the intensity and let things cool down a bit. You're fine. Edited April 25, 2022 by Alpacalia
basil67 Posted April 26, 2022 Posted April 26, 2022 Is this guy an influencer? Or is it just a regular guy who occasionally posts on IG?
basil67 Posted April 26, 2022 Posted April 26, 2022 1 minute ago, ccas93 said: IMO influencers are usually just regular people Who use social media in a way which encourages vast amounts of followers so that they can money and stuff. I've been followed by influencers and it means nothing other than they are trying to encourage interaction and likes in order to promote their "brand". Of course, if he has just a regular account, I would not be suggesting that he's only interacting to boost his own account.
ccas93 Posted April 26, 2022 Posted April 26, 2022 Just now, basil67 said: Who use social media in a way which encourages vast amounts of followers so that they can money and stuff. I've been followed by influencers and it means nothing other than they are trying to encourage interaction and likes in order to promote their "brand". Of course, if he has just a regular account, I would not be suggesting that he's only interacting to boost his own account. oh yeah I know what you mean, was just playing devils advocate.
Lotsgoingon Posted April 26, 2022 Posted April 26, 2022 (edited) I agree with others: this guy could probably care less. He might think he imagined these photos (did you take them down?). He might have been drunk. Or he might have thought you have your own reasons. To step back: are you sure you're ready for a relationship after getting out recently (I assume) of a long relationship? And are you ready to date if you're getting drunk and doing dumb stuff like this? No insult intended with the "dumb"--I'm focusing on the action, not you. We all do dumb stuff. But we tend to get smarter when we're really interested in someone and ready to date. I agree you probably didn't do any damage, but you just got lucky there. Social media is so chaotic that your posts didn't particularly stand out, most likely. So you sure you're ready to date again? Edited April 26, 2022 by Lotsgoingon
Author CEM98 Posted April 26, 2022 Author Posted April 26, 2022 6 hours ago, basil67 said: Is this guy an influencer? Or is it just a regular guy who occasionally posts on IG? No he’s just a regular guy! 1
basil67 Posted April 26, 2022 Posted April 26, 2022 Glad to know he's a regular guy I feel like your reaction is way out of proportion to what happened. Do you usually second guess yourself like this? Thing is, if he's interested, he won't care that you've friended him a few platforms. If he's not interested, he won't give it much thought at all. This thing about having a chance with him...it's not like you matched him on a dating app. Short of him having told your friend that he was interested in you, he may not even register that you're interested in him.
Author CEM98 Posted April 26, 2022 Author Posted April 26, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Glad to know he's a regular guy I feel like your reaction is way out of proportion to what happened. Do you usually second guess yourself like this? Thing is, if he's interested, he won't care that you've friended him a few platforms. If he's not interested, he won't give it much thought at all. This thing about having a chance with him...it's not like you matched him on a dating app. Short of him having told your friend that he was interested in you, he may not even register that you're interested in him. Yeah I’m an anxious mess over these things, I’ve not been single in 6 years so don’t really know how to grab a guys attention online. He won’t have a clue I’m interested! Any advice? I’m ready to date again and get back out there but not necessarily get into a relationship. I just don’t know how to get him to know I like him and find him attractive. He’s liked my picture and he watches everything I do on my socials but he doesn’t post much at all so there’s nothing I can like or watch to show I’m interested too. Edited April 26, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed duplicate content
basil67 Posted April 26, 2022 Posted April 26, 2022 You could try asking your friend to set you up. Don't laugh - hubby and I were set up by mutual friends. That said, you seem to be putting him on quite a pedestal....which probably explains you feeling a bit ditzy. Truth be told, about the only thing you know about him is that he's cute. You say that you like him, but how can you like someone who you've never met? It's entirely possible that you meet him and find that you don't vibe.
Author CEM98 Posted April 26, 2022 Author Posted April 26, 2022 6 minutes ago, basil67 said: You could try asking your friend to set you up. Don't laugh - hubby and I were set up by mutual friends. That said, you seem to be putting him on quite a pedestal....which probably explains you feeling a bit ditzy. Truth be told, about the only thing you know about him is that he's cute. You say that you like him, but how can you like someone who you've never met? It's entirely possible that you meet him and find that you don't vibe. Yeah I totally agree. I’m only going by what my friend tells me about him that he’s good fun and funny, but he could be the complete opposite of what I’m looking for. Just going to chill and what’ll be will be. Thank you!!
ExpatInItaly Posted April 26, 2022 Posted April 26, 2022 2 hours ago, CEM98 said: I just don’t know how to get him to know I like him and find him attractive. I would reflect a bit on this. You have never spoken to him, so what do you like, exactly? You might indeed find him attractive and your friend says good things about him, but you have no personal experience with him to decide that you like him. That might help soothe your anxiety a bit, by remembering that he's a stranger and you don't know how well (or even if) you would click.
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