Jjjjnb Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 My husband and I are best friends with another couple. Like I mean very close, almost like family. We love drinking and having fun together. Myself and the male from the other couple have very similar personalities and we have a lot of fun. We are both naturally flirty and of course drinking adds to it. It’s always been fairly innocent - the odd time he’s tried to touch my boobs but he definitely has always given me more attention than other woman when we are in a large group. My best friend (his fiancée) is currently pregnant, she had invited me out and was tired so told me to stay with her fiancée and go have fun. We went to a bar and had a good time, he ended up asking me a couple of times what I would do if he tried to have sex with me. I laughed it off thinking he was kidding. A few days later, we went out for drinks in a group of people, I felt like he was looking at me different than usual but tried to ignore it. He became a bit flirty at the bar and ended up sitting in between my legs and asking me to rub his back, I rubbed it a bit and joked around - this is nothing unusual. When it was time to go, my husband needed to drop a friend off so my friends fiancée told me to walk home with him and my husband can meet us there. When we were walking we were laughing and chatting and he put his arm around me - he is like this when he drinks so again I thought not much of it. As we were walking he told me that we will go down a back alley as a short cut. We continued laughing and walking and then at one point he picked me up and had me straddling him, I laughed for a bit then kind of leaned back for him to put he down. When we got to their house we went in the garage as his pregnant fiancée was sleeping. We were chatting and then he kissed me, I kissed him back. It was a quick kiss. Then it happened 2 more times - quick kisses. He then kept asking me to see my vagina and I declined. His fiancée ended up calling him to see if we made it back safe. While he was on the phone with her, he was rubbing my boobs and I let him. We ended up in the hot tub and I did show him my vagina. My husband then showed up and we acted as if nothing happened. As we were leaving to go home my husband was getting changed in the basement and my friend was staring at me and being very flirty. I messaged him the next day and apologized about what and happened and he apologized as well but also said it won’t happen again with a wink emoji. His fiancée is my best friend, my husband and I are both in their wedding party next year. I feel awful about what happened but at the same time our chemistry was intense. I hate to say I kind of liked it. I love my husband, I’m happily married, I’ve never done something like this before. I don’t want to betray my friend or husband but I can’t shake the feeling that I liked it and wanted more but stopped. My husband and I have a great sex life so I know on my end that’s not an issue, my friend said her and her fiancée have been having lots of sex so lack of sex is not an issue on their side ever. Why did he do this then??? What do I do? Any advice? Do I tell my friend? I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I also know it’s wrong of me to be feeling this way. It’s making me so anxious. thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 8 hours ago, Jjjjnb said: I don’t want to betray my friend or husband but I can’t shake the feeling that I liked it and wanted more . Why did he do this then? You answered your own question. He did it because "you wanted more". You've already betrayed your friend and husband. Stop arranging to be alone with him, drinking if you would like things to change. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 10 hours ago, Jjjjnb said: Why did he do this then??? Probably for the very same reasons you did, whatever those are. 10 hours ago, Jjjjnb said: I don’t want to betray my friend or husband It's too late for that now. You already have. 10 hours ago, Jjjjnb said: Do I tell my friend? If you do, do you also plan to take accountability for your own role in this? You were a willing participant every step of the way. You need to sit down and think long and hard about what is really going on here - what has happened to your judgment that you gave yourself permission to risk blowing up several lives all at once? When did you decide that your marriage and your friendship was worth sacrificing for some adult peek-a-boo? Are you bored in your marriage? I think if you are really honest with yourself, you will discover that there are cracks in the foundation here, and you're slowly making them worse. Keep in mind that if you two continue this, it will likely someday come to light. Affairs between close couples usually don't stay hidden for long. And then you will realize none of it was worth the pain you have introduced or the hell that comes raining down on your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 49 minutes ago, BreakOnThrough said: I believe I read this on Penthouse forum once, cool story. I've definitely read this before too, I'm trying to remember where. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 My question to you is how would you feel if the roles were reversed and your husband did this to you behind your back? You need to be honest with your husband about what happened and I think you know this. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 19 minutes ago, Bryanp said: My question to you is how would you feel if the roles were reversed and your husband did this to you behind your back? You need to be honest with your husband about what happened and I think you know this. And, if your husband and your best friend were doing this behind your back would you still call her your best friend or worse enemy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 3 hours ago, Jjjjnb said: this just happened last week. Horndogs like this are a dime a dozen. Don't feel flattered, reflect on what a pig he is.🐷. 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Horndogs like this are a dime a dozen. Don't feel flattered, reflect on what a pig he is.🐷. And reflect on why this feels flattering at all? Why aren't you offended that he would think you would be the type of woman who would cheat on your husband? Why aren't you offended he would think you are the type of person who would do this to your best friend? This is all disgusting behavior. I don't think you need to look at what is unfulfilling in your marriage, I think you need to look into yourself and figure out why this behavior feels good, why you allowed it, etc. What is causing this weakness? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 18 minutes ago, Starswillshine said: Why aren't you offended that he would think you would be the type of woman who would cheat on your husband? Oh I remember when my best friend's sister's husband hit on me when they were separated. I threw a fit and almost slapped him I was so upset. How dare he think I'm that type and it really bothered me as to why he would think I would go for such a thing. Disgusting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 (edited) 17 hours ago, Jjjjnb said: We ended up in the hot tub and I did show him my vagina His wife is pregnant so hopefully he knows what it looks like. And what no bubbles in the hot tub? Edited April 25, 2022 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 4 hours ago, Starswillshine said: What is causing this weakness? Getting drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 40 minutes ago, SingFish said: Getting drunk. No I really don't think you can blame it on the alcohol. People are who they are. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted April 26, 2022 Share Posted April 26, 2022 Girl, what are you getting yourself into? I find this couple/couple relationship of yours as dangerously intimate already. You don't seem to have lines where it's mostlty the men hanging out M/M and the women hanging out F/F, it seems to mix in all combinations. Then you admit you and your friend's fiance are both flirty by nature. Add alcohol into the mix and the fact that the guy clearly has the hots for you. I see more red flags than there are in front of the Chinese parliament building. And indeed, he's repeatedly gotten inappropriate with you and at one point you started yielding (and even liking it). This can work out in two ways: 1. all forms of one on one contact between you and the guy in question stop immediately. 2. everybody ends up sleeping with everybody. I have my doubt if your husband and your best best friend are OK with option 1. Some people may be ok with open marriages but a pregnant woman... I wouldn't count on it. (humbly: I'm no saint here, see my other topics). Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted April 26, 2022 Share Posted April 26, 2022 4 hours ago, Will am I said: I have my doubt if your husband and your best best friend are OK with option 1. I meant: option 2 (I edited for clarity and forgot to update the number). Basically, I don't see how a pregnant and engaged-to-be-married young women is OK with her fiance having sex with her BFF. Different couples have different rules, but expecting her to be OK with this is pretty far fetched. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 26, 2022 Share Posted April 26, 2022 10 minutes ago, Will am I said: Basically, I don't see how a pregnant and engaged-to-be-married young women is OK with her fiance having sex with her BFF. The kind thing to do is for OP to tell her ex BF that she wants sex with her fiance and what they've been up to. It would be good for the friend to know this before she makes a big mistake and marries this guy. She can just file for child support and move on with her life leaving both of these people behind. Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted April 26, 2022 Share Posted April 26, 2022 On 4/24/2022 at 6:41 PM, Jjjjnb said: My husband and I are best friends with another couple. Like I mean very close, almost like family. We love drinking and having fun together. Myself and the male from the other couple have very similar personalities and we have a lot of fun. We are both naturally flirty and of course drinking adds to it. It’s always been fairly innocent - the odd time he’s tried to touch my boobs but he definitely has always given me more attention than other woman when we are in a large group. My best friend (his fiancée) is currently pregnant, she had invited me out and was tired so told me to stay with her fiancée and go have fun. We went to a bar and had a good time, he ended up asking me a couple of times what I would do if he tried to have sex with me. I laughed it off thinking he was kidding. A few days later, we went out for drinks in a group of people, I felt like he was looking at me different than usual but tried to ignore it. He became a bit flirty at the bar and ended up sitting in between my legs and asking me to rub his back, I rubbed it a bit and joked around - this is nothing unusual. When it was time to go, my husband needed to drop a friend off so my friends fiancée told me to walk home with him and my husband can meet us there. When we were walking we were laughing and chatting and he put his arm around me - he is like this when he drinks so again I thought not much of it. As we were walking he told me that we will go down a back alley as a short cut. We continued laughing and walking and then at one point he picked me up and had me straddling him, I laughed for a bit then kind of leaned back for him to put he down. When we got to their house we went in the garage as his pregnant fiancée was sleeping. We were chatting and then he kissed me, I kissed him back. It was a quick kiss. Then it happened 2 more times - quick kisses. He then kept asking me to see my vagina and I declined. His fiancée ended up calling him to see if we made it back safe. While he was on the phone with her, he was rubbing my boobs and I let him. We ended up in the hot tub and I did show him my vagina. My husband then showed up and we acted as if nothing happened. As we were leaving to go home my husband was getting changed in the basement and my friend was staring at me and being very flirty. I messaged him the next day and apologized about what and happened and he apologized as well but also said it won’t happen again with a wink emoji. His fiancée is my best friend, my husband and I are both in their wedding party next year. I feel awful about what happened but at the same time our chemistry was intense. I hate to say I kind of liked it. I love my husband, I’m happily married, I’ve never done something like this before. I don’t want to betray my friend or husband but I can’t shake the feeling that I liked it and wanted more but stopped. My husband and I have a great sex life so I know on my end that’s not an issue, my friend said her and her fiancée have been having lots of sex so lack of sex is not an issue on their side ever. Why did he do this then??? What do I do? Any advice? Do I tell my friend? I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I also know it’s wrong of me to be feeling this way. It’s making me so anxious. thank you! It's not wrong to be attracted to other people. It's human. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that you all of a sudden stop being attracted to others. The thing is if those relationships are worth saving, we make the decision not to put ourselves in position to act on our urges/temptations. You already know all of this and you know that you need to never participate in this again with this guy if you value your relationship with your husband. I don't think one error in judgement (especially if there was no sex) is worth blowing up everything in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted April 26, 2022 Share Posted April 26, 2022 3 hours ago, stillafool said: The kind thing to do is for OP to tell her ex BF that she wants sex with her fiance and what they've been up to. It would be good for the friend to know this before she makes a big mistake and marries this guy. She can just file for child support and move on with her life leaving both of these people behind. The bigger issue is not the other couple, it's her own marriage. By exposing what happened, she very well could ruin her own marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 26, 2022 Share Posted April 26, 2022 33 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: By exposing what happened, she very well could ruin her own marriage. See I think she needs to come clean with her husband as well and they need to distance themselves from this couple because of the mess OP and ex friend's husband made. If they don't and this secret stays hidden their marriages will definitely be ruined because those two have no intentions of stopping as stated above. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 26, 2022 Share Posted April 26, 2022 On 4/24/2022 at 6:41 PM, Jjjjnb said: Do I tell my friend? I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I also know it’s wrong of me to be feeling this way. I'd consider whether the friendship was ever a friendship in the first place for it to unfold this way (no pun intended). I can't speak for anyone else but it'd be a mixture of sadness and loss, personally. I'd have realized that I wasn't a friend in any way, nor was I a wife by any stretch in terms of what I think a spouse or wife is. If you're not trolling, OP, then really it's up to you what you decide but I can't imagine it would be easy. I'd be more concerned about my marriage and how things got to that point with my spouse and consider the friendship with this woman over. I'd go back to the drawing board and debate on what may be causing any disjointedness or unhappiness in my life that it had to involve several individuals like this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MickeyBill Posted April 26, 2022 Share Posted April 26, 2022 (edited) Quote Then it happened 2 more times - quick kisses.... He then kept asking me to see my vagina and I declined.While he was on the phone with her, he was rubbing my boobs and I let him. We ended up in the hot tub and I did show him my vagina. My husband then showed up and we acted as if nothing happened. So kissing (1st base) feeling your boobs (2nd base) and the vagina showing (almost 3rd base) was far as the physical contact went, did he only look and not touch? Both your husband and your friend will want to know, if you admit to doing this. And there is a good chance that they will suspect more.... You are on a dangerous path, when the husband contacts you and says "we really should get together and talk about what happened", be very careful. You and the other husband have a big secret that could blow up in your faces. Edited April 26, 2022 by MickeyBill clarity Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted May 18, 2022 Share Posted May 18, 2022 Hi J develop some boundaries. Otherwise talk to your husband and ask him to open up your marriage do that both of you can have fun! Ask your best friend to open up her marriage since her Boyfriend has already done that from his side. Aldo, if you want to avoid breaking up your marriage then stop drinking. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and leads to all kinds of troubles! Warm regards. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 18, 2022 Share Posted May 18, 2022 Wow. In my world, there is a lot of space between "quick kiss" and "show him my vagina." Did he have a handy speculum? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted May 18, 2022 Senior Moderators Share Posted May 18, 2022 Thread has been closed as OP was a drive by Link to post Share on other sites
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