Jump to content

He hasn't opened my WhatsApp message in two days but is active on Facebook. What should I do?

kitty10

By kitty10
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted (edited)
17 minutes ago, unicorngirly said:

 you both say you fancy each other and seem to be getting along. 

Are you dating? Or just friends? Coworkers? Why are you anxious that he is FB but not messaging you? What happened when you saw him last? Was that a date? Or just hanging out? 

Edited by Wiseman2
  • Like 1
unicorngirly New Member

unicorngirly

Posted
Posted (edited)

We have been on dates yes but last weekend we just hung out had a chilled one and all was good and was texting fine since two days ago like Iv said above. 
And as Iv also explained to you previously wiseman because it shows me that his online on Facebook it goes green but it shows that his not been active or opened my WhatsApp message which I find very bizarre! 

Edited by unicorngirly
Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
50 minutes ago, unicorngirly said:

I also know about his last relationship too which was 2 years ago he was very open with me about it, He said he had a lot of highs and lows with her and he wasn’t sure if he was being mentally abused and I had gone through something similar with an ex of mine. 

Are either of you still talking to exes? Or are you exclusive or still talking to and meeting others? Try to relax if nothing bad happened he has no reason to ghost.

unicorngirly New Member

unicorngirly

Posted
Posted

He doesn’t talk to his ex anymore no and she’s in a relationship with someone else now and I definitely don’t talk to mine he was a narcissistic idiot haha.  We haven’t had that real chat yet if we are seeing anyone else or anything like that as Iv felt it’s been bit soon.
However I am on a dating app as I don’t class us as ‘ official ‘ but nobody has caught my eyes or anything like he has, so it is also possible he could of met a girl over the weekend so really who knows but then again there are lots of other possibilities why someone wouldn’t open a WhatsApp chat over the weekend could be busy with friends or something.  We was chatting about even going to Ireland together because he has never been and I have lots of friends and family out there.  
No deffo nothing bad happened and our last chat what I thought was pretty jokey about annoying friends that we had and general me just asking how his work shift was going on Friday that kind of thing the convo wasn’t deep or bad in my eyes anyways. But I guess anyone would feel a bit confused why someone would not open your WhatsApp message in 2 days but show up as online on Facebook and wonder damn what to do. 

salparadise Established Member

salparadise

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, unicorngirly said:

what do you do especially when you both say you fancy each other and seem to be getting along. 

Since you've been out and apparently expressed mutual interest, I'd say don't think about looking desperate –– call him on the phone for a voice conversation and say, "hey, I messaged you two days ago and haven't heard a word. What's going on?" Think of it as being real. 

Chances are that it isn't good, but you don't know 'til you ask... and given that there is more involvement than a couple of messages on dating app your expectation of a timely reply is not at all unreasonable. If you call and he doesn't pick up leave a brief message, like "haven't heard from you, call me back please." Then he will either call or not and either way you have your answer. 

I know this isn't what a lot of people would recommend, but I think the voice call breaks you out of the waiting for him to message crap and allows you to behave as though you have agency, which of course you actually do.

Edited by salparadise
  • Like 4
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

If he's been active on FB but not opened your message on WhatsApp it's because he's avoiding you, simple as that.  He obviously wants alone time, is not over an ex, met another girl, busy with work, or whavever and is purposely not getting back to you.   I would leave him alone until he contacts you.

Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

Posted
Posted (edited)

Occasionally, I get caught up in something that requires my attention right then and there because I cannot wait until later because I need to finish another important task. Do your best not to think that you are insignificant for him to respond.

Your self worth cannot be equivalent to some IM reply.

He has his own life and you have your own. Be careful not to assume he owes you anything or assume ownership.

Even if he does text you back, it doesn’t mean that he’s declaring his love for you. Keep it simple and don't worry about whether he'll answer. It's best to text to make plans to meet up in person at most. 

It might be true that you overestimated what you have with him.

It's possible that his lack of response is because...well, he's not interested in furthering the conversation.

Likewise, accept that he may no longer be interested. I know that's not fun to admit, but it's certainly possible he's simply not interested and letting you down gently.

Edited by Alpacalia
poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)

@unicorngirlyjust my take but I think it's quite possible he's still interested but simply needs some "space" for whatever reasons, which are his own so won't speculate with 'maybe it's this' or 'maybe it's that.'

I'd be guessing so there's no point doing that. 

He hasn't opened your message because he knows once he opens it, you will notice and expect a response shortly thereafter. 

So his not opening your message IS intentional but it doesn't necessarily mean he's lost interest.

He's simply introducing a bit of distance and managing your expectations, which I do not see as a negative necessarily.

Some women wouid, I don't.  I respect a man's need for space, I need my own space sometimes too even when absolutely crazy about a man!  So I understand it. 

Try to not take it personally even though I realize that's a very hard thing to do especially when you really like him! 

It's unfortunate you have the ability to see he's been on FB.  Now your mind is all over the place with negative "what ifs."

You're even asking if you're being ghosted and if you should block him!

My advice is focus on the positives which are you've spent some time together, it's all been good, you've developed a connection.

It's still early stages so you need to be very careful here.  If me, I would not reach out. 

Do your own thing, show him through your happy and relaxed attitude that you won't become a clingy, insecure burden, that you have a life, friends, family, that you are OK with a bit of distance, you won't fall to pieces because he hasn't texted in two days.

With an attitude like that, he will be running after you!  Wanting to "lock you down" as they say. 

Bottom line, relax, chill, enjoy the process.  Focus on the journey, not the destination.

Jmo based on experience, good luck! 

Edited by poppyfields
  • Thanks 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

Sometimes people want to take a break and do something else. Give it a week. If he doesn't contact you, then it's fizzled out. Keep busy, and focus on other things. Don't be so invested.

unicorngirly New Member

unicorngirly

Posted
Posted
21 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

@unicorngirlyjust my take but I think it's quite possible he's still interested but simply needs some "space" for whatever reasons, which are his own so won't speculate with 'maybe it's this' or 'maybe it's that.'

I'd be guessing so there's no point doing that. 

He hasn't opened your message because he knows once he opens it, you will notice and expect a response shortly thereafter. 

So his not opening your message IS intentional but it doesn't necessarily mean he's lost interest.

He's simply introducing a bit of distance and managing your expectations, which I do not see as a negative necessarily.

Some women wouid, I don't.  I respect a man's need for space, I need my own space sometimes too even when absolutely crazy about a man!  So I understand it. 

Try to not take it personally even though I realize that's a very hard thing to do especially when you really like him! 

It's unfortunate you have the ability to see he's been on FB.  Now your mind is all over the place with negative "what ifs."

You're even asking if you're being ghosted and if you should block him!

My advice is focus on the positives which are you've spent some time together, it's all been good, you've developed a connection.

It's still early stages so you need to be very careful here.  If me, I would not reach out. 

Do your own thing, show him through your happy and relaxed attitude that you won't become a clingy, insecure burden, that you have a life, friends, family, that you are OK with a bit of distance, you won't fall to pieces because he hasn't texted in two days.

With an attitude like that, he will be running after you!  Wanting to "lock you down" as they say. 

Bottom line, relax, chill, enjoy the process.  Focus on the journey, not the destination.

Jmo based on experience, good luck! 

I appreciate everyone’s input thanks so much! 
I deffo don’t want to look clingy not at all hence why I haven’t bombarded him with messages or phone calls as it’s the weekend and it’s possible something has just come up and why I came on here for some advice.  Hopefully he will open his WhatsApp message and reply during the week or something. But then i guess if he doesn’t then I guess he definitely has definitely ghosted me and is no longer interested and there’s simply nothing I can do about it.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

You will hear from him if he's still interested. 

Interested people make time for what interests them - it's not really more complicated than that. If you don't hear from him in a few days, well, that would be your indication that he's not really into this anymore. 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, unicorngirly said:

 I am on a dating app as I don’t class us as ‘ official ‘ 

Ok. That's your answer. You're both talking to and meeting others.

Maybe he saw you on the dating apps and started losing interest in someone who's still searching. 

You're expecting BF behaviors from someone you don't know well and you're not at all exclusive with. In fact still actively looking around for someone else.

Edited by Wiseman2
unicorngirly New Member

unicorngirly

Posted
Posted

I don’t think that’s the answer wiseman haha! But I guess everyone’s entitled to their opinion 🙂. 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, unicorngirly said:

I don’t think that’s the answer wiseman haha! But I guess everyone’s entitled to their opinion 🙂. 

Ok, you're right, it's my opinion that if someone is still browsing dating apps, then I wouldn't waste my time personally.

unicorngirly New Member

unicorngirly

Posted
Posted (edited)

If you haven’t had that chat of being official in my eyes you both are completely entitled to be on a dating app. That doesn’t mean I am actually going on any dates with anyone else because I’m not as I said above I do like him & nobody has caught my eye to chat with! I think you are being slightly rude to be honest wiseman & you need to calm down a little bit. 

Edited by unicorngirly
  • Like 1
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
Posted

I found that most men get really turned off by medical issues early on in dating. This is especially true for younger men (below 35), who tend to be much less mature than women that age and expect everything to be sexy and fun. So I wouldn't mention anything beyond common cold, and the less detail the better. Once a man is fallen for you, it's a different story.

I am someone who (unfortunately) has frequent medical issues and when I was dating, it was always a turn off when I was open about this. Some men have even told me that they don't like talking about it because it makes them feel "uncomfortable".  But all men started distancing. So I learned to hide it and did much better but it kind of sucked for me.

Medical issues that are OK to talk about are fun ones: the time you got high and puked over your dog, food poisoning stories that are funny (you barfed over your boss etc), anything hangover/alcohol related is safe, some medication you took that made you walk around naked etc etc. Kidney infection is too heavy for early dating.

Older men tend to be more considerate about it.

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, unicorngirly said:

I noticed he hasn’t even opened my last message I sent him on WhatsApp which was two days ago which I thought was rather strange as usually he opens my WhatsApp messages.

Are you the OP? @kitty10

Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm not sure why you're posting under two different usernames, but he hasn't returned your calls and is on dating websites and hasn't discussed anything substantive. So, it's OK and perfectly reasonable for you to be on dating websites.

Edited by Alpacalia
6ix Established Member

6ix

Posted
  • Senior Moderators
Posted

Note: we merged two threads by the same member using multiple usernames. 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
On 3/15/2022 at 3:10 PM, kitty10 said:

 I honestly dunno what happened for him to go silent for 3 days then come back. 

Focus on in person dates. Avoid a textbuddy situation.

After 4 or so dates you're still talking to and meeting others, so both of you could be busy dating and spending time with other people.

If he's this hot/cold and indifferent, consider cutting your losses. 

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...