Jump to content

He hasn't opened my WhatsApp message in two days but is active on Facebook. What should I do?

kitty10

By kitty10
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

I simply can't believe that saying you had a kidney infection would scare a man off.   But on the off chance that it did scare him off, he's just not someone worth dating.  If discussion of kidneys scares him, what's he going to be like if you're really ill and need help with toileting?  Or accidentally bleed on the sheets? 

If I were you, I'd consider your comments to be a test.  A test that he failed miserably.  NEXT!

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

I don't think his silence had anything to do with your mention of a kidney infection, OP. 

My guess would be that someone else has got his attention. 

  • Like 2
  • Author
kitty10 Member

kitty10

Posted
  • Author
Posted

It’s possible he has met someone else who knows we’re not official. We met at a work thing not through w dating app then connected via Facebook. But I am on the dating apps I’m single after all. 

We was texting last night & he was like I haven’t forgotten I know we was meant to meet this week but unfortunately I’m now coming down with something I said it’s fine as I’m not feeling v well myself to meet this week and just so you’re aware I am not contagious or anything lol Iv been referred to have scans done. He didn’t once say hope everything I goes ok which I think is pretty rude to be honest. ( dr suspects possibly kidney stones not a kidney infection anymore as tests are coming back normal - antibiotics he’s given me to be on safe side ) so those people saying ah he may think you have a STD not being funny I don’t & if he thinks that way well he needs his head checked. 
And then he was sending me like joke memes and stuff and then I just fell asleep. I haven’t text him today cause in all honestly I’m a bit like mehhh now from this odd situation plus my lower backs killing me at the minute so just wanna focus on getting myself well. 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, kitty10 said:

We met at a work thing not through w dating app then connected via Facebook.

Do you still work together? Just fade away from this. It seems to create more frustration than anything else.

glows Established Member

glows

Posted
Posted

Yes, take care of your health and forget this one. It sounds like a lot of hot air. All talk, no do. 

  • Author
kitty10 Member

kitty10

Posted
  • Author
Posted

The back of my mind Is saying his possibly lying about his hurt his ankle / coming down with something. Also yesterday he was saying his room mate had just moved in with him and that he is doing his head in already.Like you don’t really go 3 days without texting someone then come back basically talking about yourself. Shame as we got on well at the start but then it’s just turned very weird. 

  • Like 1
glows Established Member

glows

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, kitty10 said:

The back of my mind Is saying his possibly lying about his hurt his ankle / coming down with something. Also yesterday he was saying his room mate had just moved in with him and that he is doing his head in already.Like you don’t really go 3 days without texting someone then come back basically talking about yourself. Shame as we got on well at the start but then it’s just turned very weird. 

Has he always been self-absorbed or a bit off with the fairies? He’s keeping it light and non-committal. To be fair, no one wants to hear about kidney issues so early into dating or need to be someone’s support system. Chat with friends about your health issues, people who’ve been with you for awhile. 

I think you’re expecting a friendship out of this as well since you know one another at work functions and he’s mostly looking for something much lighter and uninvolved. 

I’d keep the personal details about your health private and keep this in the professional realm. Ignore the meme-y texts or things you don’t wish to see. It’s ok to mute. Check messages during business hours.

Edited by glows
  • Like 2
  • Author
kitty10 Member

kitty10

Posted
  • Author
Posted

No he’s not usually self absorbed otherwise I wouldn’t of wanted to see him haha! But like I dunno it’s like his completely changed. 
Maybe somethings happened to him to act way of like people have said his maybe met someone else. 
And yeah I completely understand that I probably shouldn’t of said anything but like I explained we was texting the Friday when I was on the way to the drs to pick the antibiotics up so I just told him he was like ah dear I hope it gets sorted was like thank you then silence for 3 days.I don’t think thats the reason why he stopped messaging me to be honest as his told me a gruesome story about food posing abroad where he was chucking up and stuff I don’t even know where that came from anyways think was just in general chit chat but I was like ewww but it didn’t like put me off we just laughed it over. But look I can’t change the past of what I said about my health I said to him last night just so you’re aware I’m not contagious and he continued to text me but it was stupid memes and stuff and  moaning about his flat mate being loud that his just moved in with him etc. Very odd. 

glows Established Member

glows

Posted
Posted

It’s superficial talk then. I’d leave off with the texting. It’s not meaningful in any sense and avoid over-commiserating with one another. The chemistry just isn’t there. 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
19 minutes ago, kitty10 said:

 he continued to text me but it was stupid memes and stuff and  moaning about his flat mate being loud that his just moved in with him etc.

He's just sending nonsense, so don't reply. Just step away.

Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

Posted
Posted

OP he is just sending you gibberish at this point. There's no need for you to respond to a meme or a video or whichever. Just focus on getting well.

  • Like 1
Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, kitty10 said:

The back of my mind Is saying his possibly lying about his hurt his ankle / coming down with something. Also yesterday he was saying his room mate had just moved in with him and that he is doing his head in already.Like you don’t really go 3 days without texting someone then come back basically talking about yourself. Shame as we got on well at the start but then it’s just turned very weird. 

It’s also commonplace, cheaters/ liars bring up big story excuses.  I’m think friend going to be moving in might have come up in conversations such as planning dates and him not available the days friend moved in

dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 3/14/2022 at 6:23 PM, kitty10 said:

So we have only met up four times but we text eachother on a regular basis. Things seemed to be going well. We was sending eachother funny memes the other day and I then  told him It seems I have a kidney infection and need to pick up some antibiotics and he was like that sounds nasty hope it gets sorted and I said thank you hopefully these work from the doctors. And well I have now not heard anything from him, I am worried I have scared him off or something? I really am not sure what to do. 

I just read the update.  I think you may be taking this a little too seriously IMO and he's starting to sense that, as this sounds like a casual thing.  Given that it's casual, it's not unreasonable or weird to not hear from someone for 3 days.  It's only been 4 dates right, not 4 months.

If you want to see him again just let him know that you're ready to go out and keep things light, you don't have to tell him about serious issues or try to figure out why he's doing this or saying that. If he doesn't reciprocate then this has probably run its course.

Edited by dramafreezone
  • Like 1
  • Author
kitty10 Member

kitty10

Posted
  • Author
Posted
5 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

I just read the update.  I think you may be taking this a little too seriously IMO and he's starting to sense that.  I don't think it has anything to do with this kidney infection comment.

If you want to see him again just let him know that you're ready to go out and keep things light, you don't have to tell him about serious issues. If he doesn't reciprocate then this has probably run its course.

Taking what a bit too seriously? Haha!

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
Just now, kitty10 said:

Taking what a bit too seriously?

He seems quite immature. How old is he? Do you have to see him at work? 

What happens if you have a flu? He hides under the sofa like a terrified cat?🙀

dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, kitty10 said:

Taking what a bit too seriously? Haha!

Well you said you hadn't heard from him for 3 days.  That's not an excessive amount of time to not hear from someone IMO.  People have work, other people in their lives, family, hobbies, plenty of reasons why you might not hear back from him that have nothing to do with you.

  • Like 2
  • Author
kitty10 Member

kitty10

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Erm I’m not taking this seriously at all. But I guess everyone’s entitled to their opinions 🙂

  • Like 1
glows Established Member

glows

Posted
Posted

Is he still moaning about his flatmate? 

Alvi Established Member

Alvi

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, dramafreezone said:

Well you said you hadn't heard from him for 3 days.  That's not an excessive amount of time to not hear from someone IMO.  People have work, other people in their lives, family, hobbies, plenty of reasons why you might not hear back from him that have nothing to do with you.

While it it true, I think this guy was interested in pursuing things with OP, he would at least inquire how she was feeling. Seriously, how long "How are you feeling?" text to send takes. Even if it is a causal relationship, so what? It's a human thing to do, to inquire how another person is feeling. Doesn't matter if it is a friend, a neighbor or a casual partner. It's not like she was expecting him to hold her hand while she was in pain or to drive her to the doctor. Heck, she wasn't putting any pressure on him to do anything for her whatsoever. 

 And now he is just sending her some gibberish texts. There might be a thousand and one reason why this guy ignored OP for 3 days but what it boils down to is he is not that interested. 

OP, you have done nothing wrong. Don't feel like this is somehow your fault. It is really not. This guy is either not that interested or is multi-dating but wants to keep you around just in case. This is definitely not for better or worse type of  relationship, he is a kind who would bail on you in a nanosecond. Better that you found out about it now. I would not recommend wasting anymore time on this guy.

Edited by Alvi
  • 1 month later...
unicorngirly New Member

unicorngirly

Posted
Posted

We was messaging fine this week even when he was working & had some night shifts he made time to message me. I even saw him the weekend before this week. Then I noticed he hasn’t even opened my last message I sent him on WhatsApp which was two days ago which I thought was rather strange as usually he opens my WhatsApp messages. I had a look and it says his been active on Facebook so was like hmm this is very odd indeed. I feel I am being avoided for some reason and not sure what to do? Should I wait a few days give him some space incase his got something going on to send him a follow up message? Also how long should you wait to block someone and move on - Is it around two weeks that you know you are definitely being ghosted?

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, unicorngirly said:

 I even saw him the weekend before this week. Then I noticed he hasn’t even opened my last message I sent him on WhatsApp which was two days ago which I thought was rather strange as usually he opens my WhatsApp messages.

How long have you been dating? How old is he?  What makes you think he ghosted?

Are you connected on social media? Do you message message through that?

Why don't you message him another way? Do you have his phone number?                                                  

unicorngirly New Member

unicorngirly

Posted
Posted

I have him on Instagram & Facebook.
But we tend to chat through WhatsApp.
I’m not sure if I’m being ghosted or not that’s what I mean ,obviously if I am being ghosted then I don’t want anything to do with someone like that and I’ll move on. I think 2 days is hard to tell as something could of come up hence why I mentioned is it around 2 weeks then you definitely know you are being ghosted to just delete them and move on. 
It’s as if his not going on WhatsApp for some reason I haven’t seen him active on there yet but he has been active on Facebook as it goes green on there when someone is online. But he has just left my WhatsApp message unread that I sent two days ago which was on Friday and it’s now Sunday as we was just having a conversation. I haven’t sent him anything since as I’m a bit like I don’t know what to do like should I wait a few days to reach out like hey how’s you or something as maybe something has come up over the weekend for him??? I was with him the weekend before this weekend and the next day he was texting me about what we can do when we next see each other etc.


Iv known him around 6 months and we met through a work event his in his 30s at first it was just more of a friend thing and then we expressed that we both fancied each other and we’ve being going from there really. I also know about his last relationship too which was 2 years ago he was very open with me about it, He said he had a lot of highs and lows with her and he wasn’t sure if he was being mentally abused and I had gone through something similar with an ex of mine. 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, unicorngirly said:

Iv known him around 6 months and we met through a work event his in his 30s at first it was just more of a friend thing and then we expressed that we both fancied each other and we’ve being going from there really

How long have you been dating exclusively? Try one more message on his phone number/social media. No everyone opens/checks WA all day.

What is the real reason you are uncomfortable and feel insecure like he's going to flake any minute?

dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

Posted
Posted (edited)
52 minutes ago, unicorngirly said:

We was messaging fine this week even when he was working & had some night shifts he made time to message me. I even saw him the weekend before this week. Then I noticed he hasn’t even opened my last message I sent him on WhatsApp which was two days ago which I thought was rather strange as usually he opens my WhatsApp messages. I had a look and it says his been active on Facebook so was like hmm this is very odd indeed. I feel I am being avoided for some reason and not sure what to do? Should I wait a few days give him some space incase his got something going on to send him a follow up message? Also how long should you wait to block someone and move on - Is it around two weeks that you know you are definitely being ghosted?

Not really enough information here.  What is your level of involvement with this guy?  How many dates have you been on?

In general I would say if he backs off of communication you back off.  You never really know what's going on in someone's life so I wouldn't automatically assume it's because of you.

Edited by dramafreezone
  • Thanks 1
unicorngirly New Member

unicorngirly

Posted
Posted

It’s not that I’m not comfortable I just don’t want to look desperate and annoy someone as it’s the weekend as well and something could of come up for him. If someone doesn’t open your WhatsApp message in two days but is showing up as online on Facebook you do think abit like hmmm what do you do especially when you both say you fancy each other and seem to be getting along. 

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...