He hasn't opened my WhatsApp message in two days but is active on Facebook. What should I do?

March 15, 2022

So we have only met up four times but we text eachother on a regular basis. Things seemed to be going well. We was sending eachother funny memes the other day and I then told him It seems I have a kidney infection and need to pick up some antibiotics and he was like that sounds nasty hope it gets sorted and I said thank you hopefully these work from the doctors. And well I have now not heard anything from him, I am worried I have scared him off or something? I really am not sure what to do.

March 15, 2022

51 minutes ago, kitty10 said:

So we have only met up four times but we text eachother on a regular basis. Things seemed to be going well. We was sending eachother funny memes the other day and I then told him It seems I have a kidney infection and need to pick up some antibiotics and he was like that sounds nasty hope it gets sorted and I said thank you hopefully these work from the doctors. And well I have now not heard anything from him, I am worried I have scared him off or something? I really am not sure what to do.

Oh man. This is so tricky. Some men can handle heavy convo early on. Others need to keep it “light and breezy” during the getting to know you phase.

I am hesistant to say you did anything “wrong” but perhaps a good idea (and something I have found helpful) is to work on not oversharing. If I share heavy info I keeps details less graghic until I have gotten to know the man and see what his threshold for that type of banter is.

Edited March 15, 2022 by Lauriebell82

March 15, 2022

23 hours ago, Lauriebell82 said:

Oh man. This is so tricky. Some men can handle heavy convo early on. Others need to keep it “light and breezy” during the getting to know you phase.

I am hesistant to say you did anything “wrong” but perhaps a good idea (and something I have found helpful) is to work on not oversharing. If I share heavy info I keeps details less graghic until I have gotten to know the man and see what his threshold for that type of banter is.

Oh god so what should I do? Leave it a few days or something?
I feel like an idiot now perhaps I did over share. He told me a story once where he was throwing up everywhere due to food poisoning and it was pretty gross story so for him to over share that story didn’t make me run I was like ah dear. Now saying I have a kidney infections potentially scared him off like [ ] what gives

Edited March 16, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

March 15, 2022

9 hours ago, kitty10 said:

I then told him It seems I have a kidney infection and need to pick up some antibiotics and he was like that sounds nasty hope it gets sorted and I said thank you hopefully these work from the doctors.

How long have you been talking? It's only 4 dates.

You can't "scare off" an interested man, but you can chitchat too much instead of going on dates.

Share this type of discussion with friends and family, this is definitely TMI for someone you saw 4 times.

Talk about planning the next date. Also. Continue talking to and meeting others, but save medical rounds for friends and family.

Edited March 15, 2022 by Wiseman2

March 15, 2022

28 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long have you been talking? It's only 4 dates.

You can't "scare off" an interested man, but you can chitchat too much instead of going on dates.

Share this type of discussion with friends and family, this is definitely TMI for someone you saw 4 times.

Talk about planning the next date. Also. Continue talking to and meeting others, but save medical rounds for friends and family.

Ok so what do I do moving forward? Should I reach out? I know he went out over the weekend with friends but like it’s now Tuesday and Iv heard nothing since Friday.

March 15, 2022

1 minute ago, kitty10 said:

it’s now Tuesday and Iv heard nothing since Friday.

He knows your contact info. Don't reach out. You can't fix too much talking with more talking.

Keep in mind after 4 dates you're both still talking to and meeting others.

March 15, 2022

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long have you been talking? It's only 4 dates.

You can't "scare off" an interested man, but you can chitchat too much instead of going on dates.

Share this type of discussion with friends and family, this is definitely TMI for someone you saw 4 times.

Talk about planning the next date. Also. Continue talking to and meeting others, but save medical rounds for friends and family.

I would agree with this OP. I don’t think you can scare off an interested man but early dating is so tricky. I would just let it go and not reach out. If he’s still interested he’ll come back around. In the meantime move on. Don’t put all your eggs in his basket.

March 15, 2022

I don't think having a kidney infection is going to turn an interested man off.

March 15, 2022

Let him come to you and busy yourself. If all he’s concerned about is you in good times and good health, this is absolutely no loss at all. Let him show his true colours.

By the way, I hope you’re feeling better and were given medication. Please focus on healing and be around more supportive and loving people such as your family and friends.

March 15, 2022

My take on this that he got the impression you were asking for some quiet time while you deal with your kidney infection, or why bring it up right? Just contact him, say you are feeling much better, then talk about something else.

March 15, 2022

For those who think it was TMI, enough to scare him off, help me out here.

How is telling a man you're dating (or a woman if roles reversed) that you have a kidney infection and need antibiotics 'too much information'?

What's the "too much" part, serious question, I'm not getting it.

What is happening with people these days such that they run off and ghost someone after having a fair amount of dates because they're ill?

I have never heard of that, not my experience and frankly any man who did, in my opinion, good riddance! Geez.

Having said that, and not knowing the dynamic you've established, the only thing I can think of that might make sense is that he thought you had made it up as a bid for attention and/or sympathy.

There are some women who do things like that for attention and that might have been his experience.

But that's a stretch and a big assumption.

In any event OP please don't blame yourself for HIM being a coward. Whether your being ill scared him off or something else, he's not interested.

Instead of thinking of ways to fix this, it would be better to forget him and move on.

Focus on meeting and dating men who are not only interested but who possess compassion and give a *.

Aim higher, you can do better than this.

Edited March 15, 2022 by poppyfields

March 15, 2022

38 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

For those who think it was TMI, enough to scare him off, help me out here.

How is telling a man you're dating (or a woman if roles reversed) that you have a kidney infection and need antibiotics 'too much information'?

What's the "too much" part, serious question, I'm not getting it.

What is happening with people these days such that they run off and ghost someone after having a fair amount of dates because they're ill?

I have never heard of that, not my experience and frankly any man who did, in my opinion, good riddance! Geez.

Having said that, and not knowing the dynamic you've established, the only thing I can think of that might make sense is that he thought you had made it up as a bid for attention and/or sympathy.

There are some women who do things like that for attention and that might have been his experience.

But that's a stretch and a big assumption.

In any event OP please don't blame yourself for HIM being a coward. Whether your being ill scared him off or something else, he's not interested.

Instead of thinking of ways to fix this, it would be better to forget him and move on.

Focus on meeting and dating men who are not only interested but who possess compassion and give a *.

Aim higher, you can do better than this.

I don’t think it was too much info nor do I necessarily think she did anything wrong but some guys (especially ones you meet online) can flip on a dime and lose interest. I had that happen when I was online dating. Or he may have just met someone else?

March 15, 2022

14 hours ago, kitty10 said:

So we have only met up four times but we text eachother on a regular basis. Things seemed to be going well. We was sending eachother funny memes the other day and I then told him It seems I have a kidney infection and need to pick up some antibiotics and he was like that sounds nasty hope it gets sorted and I said thank you hopefully these work from the doctors. And well I have now not heard anything from him, I am worried I have scared him off or something? I really am not sure what to do.

Early on, done DH sre medical stuff when most don’t know if this is contagious/ STD level thing. This scares many off

only things you share are

(1) obvious things that can be easily seen and misinterpreted.

(2) just say you are sick if you need to cancel a date. Don’t go into details.

3. if you are going to need to tell someone about a medical condionthst isn’t obvious. Do it in person. Not on text.

Edited March 15, 2022 by Ami1uwant

March 15, 2022

16 minutes ago, Lauriebell82 said:

some guys (especially ones you meet online) can flip on a dime and lose interest. I had that happen when I was online dating. Or he may have just met someone else?

Agree and so can women. I always say these early stages are quite precarious, people (men and women) can lose interest on a dime over just about anything.

He lost interest, period. For whatever reason.

OP, again please don't go chasing him over the rainbow, or trying to fix this.

You did nothing wrong, there is nothing to fix.

I'm sorry it didn't work out and I hope you're feeling better!

Edited March 15, 2022 by poppyfields

March 15, 2022

Anybody you are courting will be looking Fira reason to pass you over. Medical stuff can be one. Many don’t understand and they fear the worst and don’t want to deal with it early on.

if you can wait till a lityke farther in and you understand more about them it possibly can be no big deal.

March 15, 2022

Thank you to those who’ve written feedback I much appreciate it.Ok perhaps I shouldn’t of said about the kidney infection and left it but I was on the way to the drs to pick them up when we was texting at the time and like a few people have said on here if someone shys away from that well well it’s pretty ridiculous, it’s not exactly contagious and can happen to anyone.

So erm well I have an update here -

his actually just reached out to me after 3 days of silence he made a joke about when a DR gave him something really strong when he was in load of pain. It seemed like he was trying to make light of, joke around my situation about being on antibiotics.
I wrote back to him saying jeeze haha how you been have you been keeping busy.
He wrote back saying he hasn’t been overly busy, had issues at his new flat & his hurt his ankle but it’s healing. I red it and haven’t replied yet because I’m bit lost for words if I’m being honest. He reached out but like he didn’t even ask how I was feeling, it kind of makes me think his not all that interested in knowing me as a person. Like what do you say back to that?

March 15, 2022

6 minutes ago, kitty10 said:

Thank you to those who’ve written feedback I much appreciate it.Ok perhaps I shouldn’t of said about the kidney infection and left it but I was on the way to the drs to pick them up when we was texting at the time and like a few people have said on here if someone shys away from that well well it’s pretty ridiculous, it’s not exactly contagious and can happen to anyone.

So erm well I have an update here -

his actually just reached out to me after 3 days of silence he made a joke about when a DR gave him something really strong when he was in load of pain. It seemed like he was trying to make light of, joke around my situation about being on antibiotics.
I wrote back to him saying jeeze haha how you been have you been keeping busy.
He wrote back saying he hasn’t been overly busy, had issues at his new flat & his hurt his ankle but it’s healing. I red it and haven’t replied yet because I’m bit lost for words if I’m being honest. He reached out but like he didn’t even ask how I was feeling, it kind of makes me think his not all that interested in knowing me as a person. Like what do you say back to that?

To be fair, OP, you have only met four times and barely know one another in the big picture. Trust your instincts if you're not sensing enough chemistry or he's on a different wavelength. Don't waste your time being offended about his lack of care. It's either there or not there. I'd have passed over this man yesterday. If it's not the type of interaction you're interested in, move to other matches.

March 15, 2022

57 minutes ago, kitty10 said:

his actually just reached out to me after 3 days of silence he made a joke about when a DR gave him something really strong when he was in load of pain.
He wrote back saying he hasn’t been overly busy, had issues at his new flat & his hurt his ankle but it’s healing.

Do you want to see him again? If so just text back hope you feel better. However if he's giving you busy signals and not setting up dates, just move on without bothering.

Just keep talking to an meeting others. His seems lukewarm at best.

March 15, 2022

maybe he isn't very smart, and confusing "kidney" with "vagina"

March 15, 2022

Just now, flitzanu said:

maybe he isn't very smart, and confusing "kidney" with "vagina"

Yeah, stay away from anatomy-challenged people.

March 15, 2022

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you want to see him again? If so just text back hope you feel better. However if he's giving you busy signals and not setting up dates, just move on without bothering.

Just keep talking to an meeting others. His seems lukewarm at best.

Usually his not lukewarm and is really chatty in person and over text with me hence why I came on here for some advice cause I honestly dunno what happened for him to go silent for 3 days then come back. A how you feeling would of been nice but just making light / joke of the situation & talking about himself just very odd to me. Obviously I don’t know the guy amazingly well. We actually said about meeting this week the other day but unfortunately I can’t anymore as I’m just too poorly.

March 16, 2022

8 hours ago, kitty10 said:

Thank you to those who’ve written feedback I much appreciate it.Ok perhaps I shouldn’t of said about the kidney infection and left it but I was on the way to the drs to pick them up when we was texting at the time and like a few people have said on here if someone shys away from that well well it’s pretty ridiculous, it’s not exactly contagious and can happen to anyone.

So erm well I have an update here -

his actually just reached out to me after 3 days of silence he made a joke about when a DR gave him something really strong when he was in load of pain. It seemed like he was trying to make light of, joke around my situation about being on antibiotics.
I wrote back to him saying jeeze haha how you been have you been keeping busy.
He wrote back saying he hasn’t been overly busy, had issues at his new flat & his hurt his ankle but it’s healing. I red it and haven’t replied yet because I’m bit lost for words if I’m being honest. He reached out but like he didn’t even ask how I was feeling, it kind of makes me think his not all that interested in knowing me as a person. Like what do you say back to that?

Gut feeling—- you aren’t the only one he’s talking to— in the silence he started communicating with someone else and had a date.

i recall one woman I met online and dated. She was very flaky. She was a nice person. She ghosted on me once because of some medical issue came up. I think she had to have some surgery for. She disappeared, then contacted me again after she recovered.

March 16, 2022

If he would be "scared off" by you mentioning that you have a UTI/kidney infection and need to pick up some antibiotics, then honestly this is not someone you need to be wasting your time with. That's just totally ridiculous. Either he's very immature, or not that bright and thinks a kidney infection is contagious or it's an STD (which it's not). If a guy would be scared off by this, then good riddance, you don't need this guy.

And no, I don't think it was "oversharing" to mention this. That's kind of ridiculous too.

March 16, 2022

Perhaps he believes you got something from someone who knows.

He doesn't even have the common courtesy to ask how you're feeling? It's not like you had a misunderstanding or something.

Toss him back.

Hope you feel better!

March 16, 2022

If he can tell you gross stories about throwing up, you can tell him about your kidney infection.

He hasn't asked how you're feeling, but instead complains about his ankle. Sorry OP, but this guy sounds selfish and lazy, I think you should drop him.

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He hasn't opened my WhatsApp message in two days but is active on Facebook. What should I do?

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