Annabanna Posted April 22, 2022 Posted April 22, 2022 Hello everyone I've been on 2 dates with a guy, 3/4 hours each time, drinks in the local area. Tonight is date number 3 and he's asked me around to his to park up and walk to his local pub. What are your feelings on this? We get on great, have common interests. He opens doors for me, is a gentleman. So far all seems good, no red flags. We did kiss at the end of the last date, he instigated it, I would have been happy to wait. I'm not ready for things to get more serious than a kiss yet! Do you think he's thinking things will progress? Should I go? Thinking of making up an excuse because I'm just so nervous about it all.
Wiseman2 Posted April 22, 2022 Posted April 22, 2022 43 minutes ago, Annabanna said: he's asked me around to his to park up and walk to his local pub. Suggest a place closer to you. It seems like he would like the date to end up in his place, no? 2
Author Annabanna Posted April 22, 2022 Author Posted April 22, 2022 This is what I'm worried about, I'm not ready for that yet!!! Didn't know if i was over thinking things. I've only met him twice
stillafool Posted April 22, 2022 Posted April 22, 2022 Just tell him you'll meet him at the bar instead of his house. That you have to get up early in the morning and can't stay late. If he invites you to his home after drinks at the bar tell him some other time because you have to go. 4
glows Posted April 22, 2022 Posted April 22, 2022 2 hours ago, Annabanna said: I'm not ready for things to get more serious than a kiss yet! Do you think he's thinking things will progress? Should I go? Thinking of making up an excuse because I'm just so nervous about it all. I'd suggest another venue altogether. 3
flitzanu Posted April 22, 2022 Posted April 22, 2022 yes and no, it could be for a quiet place to chat into the night, or to try and get in your pants. it sounds like you're not comfortable "ending up at his place" so don't do it. you're allowed to have boundaries and need to keep them. 2
Noproblem Posted April 22, 2022 Posted April 22, 2022 (edited) Don't go to his house! People can sound nice, gentelmen, etc etc, but that doesn't mean you know them enough to end in their house! Give it more dates or under you are 100% ready for next step. Going to a guy house, that means in his mind, for many guys, that yes you are ready to have sex! If you are not ready, don't do it! Edited April 22, 2022 by Noproblem 3
ShyViolet Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 If you even need to ask this, if you are unsure enough about it to be making a thread, then NO you shouldn't go to his house. Don't do that unless you feel completely at ease with the idea. 2
Mrin Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 Dude here. If you don't want to have sex, don't go to his place. 4
Author Annabanna Posted April 23, 2022 Author Posted April 23, 2022 Thank you everyone! I called him and told him i didn't mind driving over, but I wouldn't be coming in. He was lovely about it and said he hadn't realised how it sounded, said he has no intention of putting any pressure on me. he just likes his local bar as he feels relaxed and his self there, but if I would prefer we could go elsewhere. So I went over to his local and we had a lovely time. Seems was over thinking it a bit?? but either way I'm glad I didnt go into his house as who knows. Hes lovely so far, but I need to know him better. I've not had a good track record with men so I'm on my guard!! 2 1
Amanda92 Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 But why do you just go to drink? No normal dates? No walks or dinner? I would suggest something else the next time because meeting just to drink an alcohol doesn't seem to lead to something serious. 1 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 19 hours ago, Annabanna said: Didn't know if i was over thinking things. I've only met him twice Maybe he just wanted to drink and not have to drive, maybe he's just lazy and wants you to come to his area. Next time pick the venue. Make sure you don't let others steer everything.
Author Annabanna Posted April 23, 2022 Author Posted April 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Amanda92 said: But why do you just go to drink? No normal dates? No walks or dinner? I would suggest something else the next time because meeting just to drink an alcohol doesn't seem to lead to something serious. It was only the 3rd date. We have talked about doing other stuff next time. 1
Author Annabanna Posted April 23, 2022 Author Posted April 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Maybe he just wanted to drink and not have to drive, maybe he's just lazy and wants you to come to his area. Next time pick the venue. Make sure you don't let others steer everything. Thank you, i will. We have talked about doing other things too, and he has been to my local area for the first date. The second date was in-between 2
Gaeta Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 5 hours ago, Annabanna said: I called him and told him i didn't mind driving over, but I wouldn't be coming in. He was lovely about it and said he hadn't realised how it sounded, said he has no intention of putting any pressure on me. he just likes his local bar as he feels relaxed and his self there, but if I would prefer we could go elsewhere. So I went over to his local and we had a lovely time. Seems was over thinking it a bit?? but either way I'm glad I didnt go into his house as who knows. Hes lovely so far, but I need to know him better. I've not had a good track record with men so I'm on my guard!! I am glad you had a good time. As a gentleman he should have concentrated on what YOU are comfortable with and not where 'he' feels relaxed. When 2 strangers start dating it's women that are vulnerable and the men should suggest dates women are comfortable with. When men leave their home for dates they don't have the same worry we women have, a gentleman usually keeps that in mind. That being said, if he had told you he picked that particular place because it's really cool and wanted you to discover it, that would have been a better answer than what he gave you. Maybe it's just me, but there is something in his answer I don't like. It's self-centered to me. Just keep it in mind. 1
Author Annabanna Posted April 23, 2022 Author Posted April 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: I am glad you had a good time. As a gentleman he should have concentrated on what YOU are comfortable with and not where 'he' feels relaxed. When 2 strangers start dating it's women that are vulnerable and the men should suggest dates women are comfortable with. When men leave their home for dates they don't have the same worry we women have, a gentleman usually keeps that in mind. That being said, if he had told you he picked that particular place because it's really cool and wanted you to discover it, that would have been a better answer than what he gave you. Maybe it's just me, but there is something in his answer I don't like. It's self-centered to me. Just keep it in mind. I'm not sure used those words exactly, think he just wanted to show me his local. And it was a really lovely place. My guard is up though, don't worry. 3
poppyfields Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 (edited) 7 hours ago, Annabanna said: I'm not sure used those words exactly, think he just wanted to show me his local. And it was a really lovely place. My guard is up though, don't worry. I think that's fine, good even, he is introducing you into his world and would like you to join him on his journey. Which includes his local pub, meeting friends, people he frequently associates with. Which is a positive. You liked it, you felt comfortable there, you passed the first test. A woman who had objected, insisted he drive to her, took issue with his suggestion would have failed. Edited April 23, 2022 by poppyfields
Author Annabanna Posted April 24, 2022 Author Posted April 24, 2022 8 hours ago, poppyfields said: I think that's fine, good even, he is introducing you into his world and would like you to join him on his journey. Which includes his local pub, meeting friends, people he frequently associates with. Which is a positive. You liked it, you felt comfortable there, you passed the first test. A woman who had objected, insisted he drive to her, took issue with his suggestion would have failed. Exactly this! We didn't arrange to meet anyone there, but people knew him. And he instructed me to his friend who was there. I think it was all a good sign, but I cant help but be on quard. Im almost waiting for something to go wrong or for me to stop something. I know this is bad, but im just so used to being let down or finding out I've been lied to ect. I think i will relax more as I get to know him.
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