Marriage falling apart after in laws got custody

[Sugarkane2]

My husband is hesitant to get a lawyer because of the cost.

[Sugarkane2]

5 hours ago, Elswyth said:

How does that prevent you from working? I mean, even if we take it at your word that transport literally takes you 4 hours return each time, preventing you from working on those days... there are 5 other days in the week?

Because I often have other appointments as well.

[stillafool]

3 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Because I often have other appointments as well.

Can you get a job working nights?

 

4 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

My husband is hesitant to get a lawyer because of the cost.

If the kids aren't as important to him as money you need to divorce this guy.  He doesn't seem to be helping you especially if you have to live with your parents which you hate.

[Sugarkane2]

6 hours ago, Elswyth said:

How does that prevent you from working? I mean, even if we take it at your word that transport literally takes you 4 hours return each time, preventing you from working on those days... there are 5 other days in the week?

Also the constant delays on my train line 

[Wiseman2]

On 5/7/2022 at 11:57 PM, Sugarkane2 said:

CPS is involved because someone contacted them about us

That means there was suspicion of abuse or neglect? And they were taken away after an investigation and hearing? 

[Sugarkane2]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

That means there was suspicion of abuse or neglect? And they were taken away after an investigation and hearing? 

There was none. CPS wasn’t involved with my daughter.

[Wiseman2]

32 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

There was none. CPS wasn’t involved with my daughter.

Do you mean "child protective services"? Who are they protecting?

[Sugarkane2]

22 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you mean "child protective services"? Who are they protecting?

Yes. They’re protecting my son, even though we don’t need it.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

. They’re protecting my son.

Who are they protecting your son from and who filed the complaint with cps?

Can you divorce your husband? That doesn't seem to be working out.

[Sugarkane2]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Who are they protecting your son from and who filed the complaint with cps?

Can you divorce your husband? That doesn't seem to be working out.

I don’t know us? and I don’t know who contacted them.

Edited May 9, 2022 by Sugarkane2

[stillafool]

4 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

There was none. CPS wasn’t involved with my daughter.

Was there an investigation and hearing involving your son?

[Sugarkane2]

8 hours ago, stillafool said:

Was there an investigation and hearing involving your son?

No there wasn’t.

[basil67]

A 'hearing' means that it went to court.  The case did go to court (you've spoken about the court outcome before) and so witnesses must have testified in order for you to lose custody

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Sugarkane2 said:

No there wasn’t.

How did you lose your kids?

[NuevoYorko]

14 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Yes. They’re protecting my son, even though we don’t need it.

It's not about you.  Your son needs it.  At least, that was the determination resulting from a hearing.

You need to get your own life in order. I understand that you have more than your share of challenges, but it's 100% up to you to make necessary changes, if you want your life to be different.   Why not start a thread about the steps you are taking to do that.  There are a lot of people here who have been trying to support you.  So far, you've expressed no interest at all in supporting yourself.  

[Sugarkane2]

2 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

It's not about you.  Your son needs it.  At least, that was the determination resulting from a hearing.

You need to get your own life in order. I understand that you have more than your share of challenges, but it's 100% up to you to make necessary changes, if you want your life to be different.   Why not start a thread about the steps you are taking to do that.  There are a lot of people here who have been trying to support you.  So far, you've expressed no interest at all in supporting yourself.  

Just want to desperately afford a lawyer so I can try and make sense of it.

[stillafool]

10 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Just want to desperately afford a lawyer so I can try and make sense of it.

If you guys live with your parents why aren't you able to save an hire an attorney?  Or do you mean a divorce attorney?

[vla1120]

@Sugarkane2 You do seem to ignore the advice and you don't answer questions that are asked in an attempt to better understand your situation so that posters can offer help and advice. Like I have said in the past, I am an advocate for children in foster care. I work closely with parents as well as resource parents and have access to tons of resources to help parents trying to get their kids back. I'm sure you have the same resources available to you in your area. You need to take full advantage of those resources and start taking ownership of what is happening and doing everything you can to take control and show CPS you can support yourself and your children in a healthy, safe environment.

[Sugarkane2]

10 hours ago, stillafool said:

If you guys live with your parents why aren't you able to save an hire an attorney?  Or do you mean a divorce attorney?

I have no money and lawyers cost a fortune 

[Sugarkane2]

9 hours ago, vla1120 said:

@Sugarkane2 You do seem to ignore the advice and you don't answer questions that are asked in an attempt to better understand your situation so that posters can offer help and advice. Like I have said in the past, I am an advocate for children in foster care. I work closely with parents as well as resource parents and have access to tons of resources to help parents trying to get their kids back. I'm sure you have the same resources available to you in your area. You need to take full advantage of those resources and start taking ownership of what is happening and doing everything you can to take control and show CPS you can support yourself and your children in a healthy, safe environment.

I try and answer the questions but struggle to make any sense out of what happened. It isn’t the usual type of custody case 

[basil67]

As CPS is heavily involved, ask them to explain why you lost custody and how to get the children back.  Obviously, the parenting program is a start....are you fully attending all meetings?

[Sugarkane2]

9 minutes ago, basil67 said:

As CPS is heavily involved, ask them to explain why you lost custody and how to get the children back.  Obviously, the parenting program is a start....are you fully attending all meetings?

CPS wasn’t involved with my daughter, so I don’t think they’ll have much advice

[stillafool]

31 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I have no money and lawyers cost a fortune 

Is there a reason you don't answer any questions?

[basil67]

But CPS is insisting you live with your parents for the safety of your other child, and asking you to do parenting classes. They are well aware of what the problems are...and they would be the same problems which led do you losing your daughter.

Ask them to explain EXACTLY what their concerns are.

Edited May 11, 2022 by basil67

[stillafool]

31 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I try and answer the questions but struggle to make any sense out of what happened. It isn’t the usual type of custody case 

You don't have to make sense out of what happened to answer a direct question.  Just tell the truth which you already know.  If you keep it up people will get tired and stop responding to you.